Man throws GF's ultimatum back at her: 'cut off your male friend if I had to cut off my female friend.'

"AITA for 'making' my girlfriend cut off her new male friend because she made me cut off a female friend?"

A couple of years back, I made friends with a new co-worker, she was pretty cool. Now, my gf at first did not have a problem with this. But she got uncomfortable with how much time my new friend and I spent on gaming.

Admittedly, it was a bit much. My gf did straight up and told me she would not continue this if I continue this friendship. Honestly, looking back, I kind of regret it, but whatever.

Recently, my gf met a new guy friend. And this friendship has made me uncomfortable. They don't hang alone as far as I know, but they do drink together, which makes me uncomfortable.

So I told my gf this and she tried to reassure me, but this didn't change my feelings. I did bring up what she told me years ago and my old female friend. She told me she was very sorry for what she did. She told me that our relationship was still pretty new and that she didn't fully trust me back then.

She told me that if this happened today, she wouldn't have asked me to cut off this friendship. FYI, I couldn't get in touch with my old co-worker even if I tried, so that friendship is gone forever.

I told my gf fine. But regardless, if she wants me to stick around, she needs to cut off that friendship. I told her it's extremely messed up for her to claim she had changed her mind when she had to make a sacrifice.

I told her I wanted to believe her, but she had to prove to me that she's not just saying this just because. She did agree to this half-heartedly. Idk, I'd have never given her an ultimatum like this, and it felt wrong tbh.

Here's what people had to say to OP:

Sebscreen said:

NTA. Her changing her mind based on time having passed (and which she is totally lying about btw) is irrelevant. At its heart, she was uncomfortable with something and you cut that friendship to ease her feelings. You are now uncomfortable with something (that is a current, active, and real fact regardless of her stance), and its time for her to reciprocate the respect for your feelings or leave.

Delicious_Boss_1314 said:

Lol. This isn't going to last and you know it. Something ugly is taking roots inside both of you.

Krow101 said:

NTA. And going out for drinks is an order of magnitude more than gaming. Oh, she's just going to see him behind your back. In case you wondered.

useless_mermaid said:

ESH. I will never understand insecure messes like you two.

Competitive_Tale_799 said:

ESH. Strong relationships don't "keep score." An "I did so you have to too" is high school drama. Are you wrong for having a boundary? No. Could this be shady? Absolutely. Treating this as a tally mark? Absolutely both suck.

crwnbrn said:

NTA she wrote the original boundary herself and now you have to enforce it, boundaries aren't a one way street it's an agreement for both partners to adhere to. Have the conversation with her and let her know it's you or her new friend, anything that's a protest and not a complete break and block is a sign that this friend is more than just that. This frees you up to move on and go back to your own friend.

kodtulch said:

ESH. Ultimatums are toxic, and yours was fueled by revenge. It felt wrong because it was wrong.

Proper_Fun_977 said:

NTA. What is good for you is good for her.

ReflectionOk892 said:

NTA. You didn’t make the rule. You’re just asking her to follow what she started