Man demands wife explains 'why she can't work hard like pregnant women he works with.'
Having children is a significant stress on a family. Preparing for the new child, organizing finances, and getting through the pregnancy are all herculean tasks. If you can come out of that on good terms with your parents, your relationship was meant to be.
On a popular Reddit thread in the Am I the A%&hole Subreddit, a man gets upset with his wife for being unable to do what he sees other pregnant women do.
She writes:
My husband (39) and I (33) are having our second child and my third child overall (I have a child from a previous marriage). My husband works full-time, and I run my at-home bakery and sell at farmers' markets. I'm maybe 4-6 weeks at this point, so still very early, and I will be going to my first appt in a few weeks.
I have been feeling very sick the past few days to the point that housework does not get done some days. Last night I was up until about 1 AM because I felt so bad I couldn't sleep. My husband comes home from work; I tell him the dog has been crying the whole time he has been gone. He replied, 'Or maybe it's that sh%t smell.'
I get upset at this and ask him what he is talking about. He was talking about the mint-scented oil I had on a cotton ball to keep me from getting sick. I tell him, a little angrily, 'That doesn't mean you have to be mean about it because that oil is the only thing keeping me from getting sick.'
Then, he sees Wendy's in the trash can and gets upset that I had taken the kids for Wendy's drive threw for dinner and that I had not done any housework or dishes (we have no dishwasher, so I have to hand wash everything). He also told me the pregnant women at his work can do their job and don't feel sick and wanted me to explain why this is.
I can't explain why but tried anyway, telling him, 'I don't know. They probably feel as bad as I do, or maybe they have medicine to help keep them from feeling as bad.' He tried to justify that it was ok for him to be upset because the house smelled terrible to him (he does not like mint), the AC was on too high, getting takeout is my answer to everything, and he is allowed to feel how he feels.
OP Updated:
For those who keep saying homemaker, I have time to clean. I am not. I own my own at Home Bakery with a business license that brings in $400-$800 in a given week in just baked goods alone.
(I sell other items as well) And the takeout is maybe one or two a week when I don't have time to cook dinner. (Either due to a sporting event, my old is 10, or because I am sitting at an event, all I have time to get is drive threw).
The grass is always greener on the other pregnant woman's lawn.
Mysticalia89 says:
Do they (other pregnant women) have two children to run around after all day? Do they have a home run bakery on top of that? Do they have to clean the house on top of feeling constantly sick and nauseous?
Do they then have a husband that comes home and gives them a sh%t attitude? No? Probably why then. NTA (Not the A#%hole).
trxsxrms09 says:
NTA. He needs a hard reality check. Pregnancy is different not only for each person, but from pregnancy to pregnancy. You may have no morning sickness with one, and debilitating nausea and vomiting all day with another.
Sweetdoubts says:
NTA. Was this a once-in-a-blue-moon behavior, orr is he usually like this? Unfortunately, we all have bad days, andd sometimes two people's bad days collide. I don't know if he was having a rough day. It doesn't justify being rude, but it can be discussed later.
But if he is usually this rude and mean to you, it's not acceptable. Next time he compares you to other women, compare him to other men you know. Someone richer, kinder, and hotter, and ask him how he feels.
I don't want to egg on a fight between a couple, but some people are just ridiculous. How has this man fathered a child with you already and not understand the differences in pregnancies? He can feel how he feels, but he cannot demean his pregnant wife, who had a bad day.
Sounds like your husband needs to take a woman's reproductive health class because my man is clueless.