Man wants to put a lock on bedroom door so his SO's mother can't sleep in their bed. AITA?
"WIBTA if I put a lock on my bedroom door so my girlfriend's mother can’t sleep in our bed?"
My girlfriend (F27) and I (M30) are going on holiday in a few months and her mother (F60s) and stepfather (M70s) have agreed to come and babysit our 2 cats (M1.5&F1.5). Her mother has said that they will need to use both the spare room bed and our own bed when they stay as they can’t share a queen sized spare bed for 1 week as they’ll “not be able to sleep in the same bed together all week” blaming the bed size.
My GF has unhappily agreed to keep the peace but it’s making me very uncomfortable they’ll be using our bed. WIBTA if I put a lock on our bedroom door just before we go away so they can’t use it?
Extra info that may/may not be relevant: My girlfriend’s mother lives about 3 hours away visits every few months, but the step dad has never been before. Before we had the spare bed she would happily sleep on the quite comfortable sofa and we mainly got the spare bed for her visits.
Although I know they are doing us a big favor by looking after the cats they were intending to use it as a mini holiday. The mother does not always sleep in the same bed as her stepfather as they both wake each other up snoring and he is now getting some medical issues meaning he has frequent toilet trips in the middle of the night.
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
thenord321 said:
YTA. Don't try to sneak this in, be an adult and communicate with words to your inlaws. Just change the sheets and wash them, you'll be sleeping in a hotel bed on your trip, it's the same damn thing...
They can't sleep together due to snoring and medical issues, they aren't purposely misusing your bed. If you have a personal hangup about your bed, then you'll have to talk about it with your partner too and be on the same page.
juliabelleswain said:
YTA. I get enjoying your privacy. However, your MIL is doing you a big favor. Wash the sheets before and after. Hell, wash the pillows too, and put on a mattress protector. Otherwise, hire a pet sitter.
BigBigBigTree said:
YTA if you give them no warning and just leave the door locked. There may well be more conversation to be had re: sleeping arrangements, but if you let them believe there will be two beds for them and then let them find out that's not the case when they get to your place, that'd be a major AH move.
JeepersCreepers74 said:
YTA. They're doing you a huge favor and you haven't given any good reason why you're so creeped out by her mom sleeping in your bed when you're not even at home. If you want to make rules like this, hire a pet sitter.
thetinymole said:
YTA. Her condition for watching your cats is that she has access to both bedrooms. Your GF agreed. If you lock the door, she would be well within her rights to leave. Either accept her terms or hire a catsitter.
keesouth said:
YTA. She's doing you a favor and there's absolutely nothing wrong with her sleeping in your bed. Just wash the sheets