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Man yells at teacher for talking to his girlfriend at parent teacher meeting.

Man yells at teacher for talking to his girlfriend at parent teacher meeting.


Parenting with someone who isn't your child's biological parent may not be the most straightforward situation. You need your kid to buy in, that person has to buy in, and the other bio parent usually has to buy in. That's a lot of selling for a situation that can go south fast.

On a popular Reddit thread in the Am I the A**hole Subreddit, one man gets upset when his girlfriend is treated more like his child's parent than he does.

I (28M) have a son, Nathan (6M). I'm his sole parent because his mother lost custody battle. His school was aware of this when I removed his mother's details from their system, and his current teacher for grade one has not met my ex.

Due to the nature of the custody battle, his teacher does know about my ex for safety reasons, as she has been barred from coming to the school to get him. She knows that if she ever sees me with a woman, it is not my ex.

His school has parent-teacher meetings twice a year, once before the Christmas break and another at the end of the academic year. I've been dating my girlfriend, Venus (24F), for the past eight months, and she has a fantastic relationship with my son. He likes her and asked if she could come with me to the parent-teacher conference because he wanted her to hear that he was doing well at school.

My son used to struggle with English as his mother tongue is Spanish. My Spanish is okay, but Venus is fluent, so she helped him improve his English by tutoring him. At the meeting, I noticed that the teacher spoke only to Venus. She was making eye contact with her and only directing conversations to her.

I found this annoying because although I know most primary parents are women, the teacher knows I'm Nathan's sole parent. Venus kept redirecting the conversation to me, and I did ask a few questions, but the teacher would speak to me for a few seconds and then go back to talking to Venus only. Eventually, I said, I'm sorry to interrupt you. I'm Nathan's father, and I'd appreciate it if you spoke to me.

The teacher seemed taken aback and irritated, but she apologized and spoke to me for the rest of the meeting. I told my brother-in-law (sister's husband) about what happened, and he thinks I overreacted.

He said that while he finds it annoying when teachers only speak to my sister at meetings, he understands that it's not out of malice or a force of habit since mothers tend to be more involved than fathers. He also said it was my fault for bringing Venus to the meeting.

He thinks it was an a**hole move for me to interrupt the teacher and make her feel like she did something wrong for something that was most likely not malicious.

It was brought up again at Christmas because Venus spent it with my family, and my mother asked Venus if she had Nathan's inhaler, and my BIL interrupted and said, 'Careful, (my mom's name), Mark (me) might freak now.' I want to put this situation to rest. AITA?

The internet is where all custodial disputes end up.

Independent-Bee-4397 says:

NTA (Not the A**hole). The teacher knew you were a sole parent, yet she directed all her conversation to Venus, whom she met for the first time. She doesn’t even know if Venus is involved in Nathan’s life. Also, you were not mean or rude to the teacher, so your brother’s comments are uncalled for.

Aromatic-Office-4394 says:

NTA, but your BIL is. That's YOUR SON, and YOU should be the one the teacher addresses, especially since she knows you have custody and Venus isn't his mother.

LividAllie says:

NTA - he’s your son. And what your BIL did was just rude. There you have it, OP! Your BIL is not the father and therefore can't tell whether a teacher is rude to you.

Sources: Reddit
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