Man's GF hits his best friend's wife, ruins vacation for friend group. UPDATED 2X

Some behaviors simply shouldn't be excused, but that doesn't stop people from excusing them.

"My girlfriend hit my best friend's wife."

So I’ll give some back story here because there was already tension prior to this incident. Me and my best friend, have been best friends for over 20 years we are now 28 and 27. he doesn’t like sharing any of his business. This also applied when he started dating his now wife (26). I didn’t even know until they had officially become a couple and I hadn’t met her until after their 1 year anniversary.

Best friend asked me to not tell my girlfriend about his because my girlfriend is pretty talkative and would have told others. I didn’t see a problem with this as my best friend and gf didn’t really talk much and me and my gf never talked about him.

About 3 years ago, my best friend posted about his 3 year anniversary with his girlfriend and all of our friends were shocked as none of them knew he was seeing anyone. My girlfriend got upset with me for knowing this information and keeping it a secret from her. We had a fight but resolved it. I’ve suggested double dates since but she has never been interested.

She didn’t even come to my best friend's wedding. Fast forward to now, our friend group always takes a vacation every year. My best friend's wife has never come so all of our friends only met her at the wedding. This year, we were set to go skiing, some things happened and we couldn’t make it our original destination. So we ended up coming to my best friend's house.

Everyone was excited because they’d get to see best friend's wife. While at the house, I got really sick from the food we had at the airport. I had stomachaches and the worst headache humanly possible. Best friend's wife is one of those herbal medicine people. So she made me some tea and did some trick with pulling my hair to relieve the headache which worked instantly.

She had made dinner, my girlfriend refused to eat and insisted she wasn’t hungry, cool. We complimented the cooking and went to sleep early. My girlfriend has refused to talk to best friend's wife and has been upset this entire trip. She has been mocking best friend's wife’s accent (she’s from Congo) and we talked about it and she finally stopped.

The last pair of people we had been waiting for arrived super late last night. So today we hung out at the house and had dinner together. There have been a lot of attention on best friend's wife as no one really knows her. My girlfriend got angry and started mocking her accent in front of everyone. Best friend glared at me and it got really awkward.

I spoke with gf outside and she started crying really loud and backed on some plant stand and accidentally knocked it over which made a noise. Best friend's wife came to check up and before I knew it, my girlfriend punched her face and she started crying. My best friend came to this and now wants my girlfriend gone in the morning. With the holidays, no nice hotels near us are available.

GF doesn’t care and is sleeping on the couch. I’ve apologised to my friend and his wife several times. But I’m completely pissed at my girlfriend. She doesn’t normally act like this. She hasn’t been clear on her feelings or thoughts leading up to now. This is definitely going to leave a dent in my friendship. I don’t know what more to do here.

People had a lot of strong responses to the story.

timscookingtips wrote:

Your girlfriend is acting like a psycho. I don’t know what her explanation could possibly be, but it would have to be realllly good for me to stay with her after this.

Moist-Opportunity64 wrote:

Gone in the morning?! I’d have dragged your girlfriend out by her hair if she ass*ulted my spouse in my home. What is wrong with you?! This is unacceptable behavior. Take her home now, she has no business in your friend’s home making his wife uncomfortable, your visit is officially over and hopefully your relationship with this girl is too.

Forsaken-Bag-8780 wrote:

If you’re not leaving anything crucial out, then I sincerely hope your friend’s wife presses charges. Your girlfriend is psychotic, acting like a two year old that’s missed her nap. She’s lucky she didn’t get her a$$ completely stomped into the ground.

00Lisa00 wrote:

Your whole friend group and relationship are weird. None of you communicate. Who keeps a relationship secret for 3 years? Why don’t you communicate with your gf? And there has to be something you’re leaving out because unless your gf is legit nuts she has no reason to punch a stranger.

After receiving a lot of question and criticism, OP jumped on with a small update.

Edit: For everyone saying “there is more to the story”, no there really isn’t. This is as much I know. That’s why I’m really clueless about what to do here Also the reason we didn’t leave immediately last night is because we drove up here with 2 other people. Wouldn’t be fair to them. I’ll address everything else later. Just needed some input.

And two days later, he jumped on with a much longer update.

I went to wake her up in the morning but she was already up and ready and packed. I tried talking to her and she refused. I went back upstairs to wake up my friend before we left. He demanded an explanation on the violence. GF just started crying that we were ganging up on her. Friend told her if she didn’t explain then he’d call the police.

They went back and forth and the friends that were in the downstairs guest room came out. So we ended up leaving to not cause more commotion and wake up his wife. She didn’t say anything to anyone and got in the car. The whole time she refused to talk to me even at the hotel, I kept asking her what happened. I went to shower and when I came back out she left.

I checked her location and she was driving. I called, kept declining my calls then she texted me she wanted space. My texts haven’t been going through. I haven’t really thought about the whole thing since and have just been in my room. Friend came to pick me up this morning. I feel awful being here, wife’s face definitely bruised.

And now I have to sit here and look at her even though she’s been nothing but nice to me and I’m the cause of it. The rest of the trip is canceled, no one really wants to go anymore. Two of our friends went home and the rest have been here trying to teach my friend's wife how to fight. I know a lot of people said that she may have had feelings towards my friend.

I haven’t found anything to support that. I went through her iPad that’s linked to her phone, I did find pictures of my friend that was zoomed into but I feel like that’s not enough especially since I at a point one of her friends used to be interested in my friend so the pictures were probably to send to her friend. Other than that nothing. If there are feelings involved, it would be one sided.

My friend isn’t exactly the biggest fan of my girlfriend. Some background on their relationship: When we started dating, They met once at a restaurant. And then anytime after that was through me on the phone (so if I was otp with friend and girlfriend was there, she’d say hi and vice versa). They don’t even have each other’s numbers, Not to mention we live in different states.

And friend was a virgin before he met his wife...any time after that, they don’t really spend time alone, if I’m not around, she’s always with her friend. A few months into our relationship where she hadn’t really known my friend much. My friend came to my house because he had suspected that his cancer came back and wasn’t great about it.

He talked about it me while my girlfriend was there. She (wanting to help) told our friends about it so they can support him. And it turned into this huge thing and friend was not happy about it. after that he always made sure if it was really personal to him, for me to not tell my girlfriend. If it was up to my friend, he would never talk to anyone.

He has warned up and gotten better about it over the years that we’ve been friends. ​ I promise this man isn’t “hiding” his wife. He is the most proud man when it comes to his wife. She has been to every single one of our work events. Even when she couldn’t physically be there, he’d have her on ft to see what was going on. He used to say “my girlfriend” any chance he gets.

He literally said that the reason he married her was because “wife” was shorter than “girlfriend”. He is one of those guys that will “my wife” tf out of you. He’s naturally a corny person, I mean he says “I love you” every time before getting off the phone but after his wife, he’s much cornier now. He isn’t a social media person all together but posts yearly to wish people happy holidays or birthdays.

He specifically didn’t want our friends to know about his girl because they can be a bit invasive about these things. We like to joke around sometimes, there has been instances where pranks were done on couples as well that went too far for him and more. His wife doesn’t curse, drink, or smoke, and she's a bit of a prude.

All of which our friends are opposed to, so bringing her around them wouldn’t have been ideal anyway.

The internet had a lot of thoughts about the update.

thefaehost wrote:

On top of every other red flag here, she LEFT YOU at the hotel…just straight up drove off and left you there.

You really into bull fighting or have you seen enough red flags yet?

FeralHag420 wrote:

As I said on the post before you redid it you need to dump her, just ass*ulting someone for no good reason is beyond unacceptable and your friend and his wife would be well within their rights to press charges. You shouldn't have even followed her to the hotel and should have just sent her back home to pack her shit and get the f#$k out.

I don't care how many years you have in this relationship the fact that this person would act so bats$%t insane and commit an act of violence like that shows you who she really is.

svcnyborg wrote:

Bro...your buddy said "I love you" (after all that) and you didn't say it back? Oh, and good luck with the hard decisions you're going to have to make. At least you don't have kids together. That would complicate things further.

lesser_known_friend wrote:

Also how your girlfriend got upset at you for not telling her personal information about your friend's life, that's super strange and entitled of her. Why would she even be so invested in knowing details about your friends life if she didn't have feelings for him? My mother is the most nosy, entitled, pushy and talkative person I know and not even she would dare get upset over something like that. You deserve better.

A few months later, OP shared another update.

Sorry for the late update I’ve been pretty occupied and I tried posting recently with some pictures but my post was taken down and I wasn’t able to post. But this whole thing was a HUGE misunderstanding. About two hours after I had been back at my friend's house, she responded to my messages and wanted to talk.

At the time I was really upset so I called her and we ended exchanging some awful words to each other. That night she called my friend in front of me and was crying « we don’t deserve this » and etc which had us both confused until she explained to him that his wife was pregnant by me, which is not the case.

Side note: There is one part of the story I didn’t mention, because I didn’t think it was relavent to the story. And it was also very private. some days before trip. My friend's wife called me about finding out she was pregnant, she wanted to surprise her husband during New Years and basically needed my help since her friend wasn’t able to come.

While I was there, we did take a moment and she raised her concerns with me as she was getting nervous about the announcement. We were in private and hadn’t thought much about this after. I did find out however, my girlfriend heard us and thought the wife was pregnant by me.

His wife was sleeping at the time of the call so I tried telling them that wasn’t the case, he went through her phone and found threads and threads of messages she’s had with her mom and best friend and including me. Starting from when she found out which we hadn’t seen each in months. I ended up going to pick her up so we could talk some more.

We talked for some time, and my GF revealed that she thought she was pregnant during the whole trip. She was too scared to get tested so we stayed in a hotel that night and then got her tested next morning. Surely enough she was pregnant. She has come back to apologize to my friend and his wife. They were really understanding since it was due to a huge misunderstanding.

We’ve been back in contact since this, and have been trying to figure out everything. We aren’t exactly ready to be back in the relationship since we both said some really bad words to each other. It’s been a lot past few months as her parents have discovered the pregnancy and want her to terminate. I have offered to marry her since they’re saying they’re traditional but that hasn’t worked.

For now, they’re no contact and that has taken up some of the stress. We are both working out our relationship still but we are excited about our son. I can’t go through all the comments again since there were a lot but i can answer questions if there are any confusions

Edit: I’m not making any excuses for her, I’m simply telling you guys the explanation that a lot of you have been wanting. I suggested marriage to appease her parents as they were making some threats that would ruin my GF's life, and despite how she’s acted recently, we were together for 7-years and I couldn’t fathom her life being ruined that she worked hard, especially being pregnant with our child.

Our feelings aren’t great, nor are we looking to get into a relationship, but we do have some kind of relationship for our child. If my friends wanted to press charges against her, I would be in support because if someone else hit her, I would. But they haven’t and have chosen to forgive while keeping a distance from as we were before the situation.

I understand the situation is aggravating and so a lot of you feel strongly but, let’s try and remember I am a person when you’re leaving unnecessarily mean comments and sending d*ath threats to my unborn child. I will no longer be responding nor posting further here. Thank you for those you have been supportive and suggestive as that has been helpful. Enjoy the rest of your night everyone.

The internet had a lot to say, unsurprisingly.

_clumsykay_ wrote:

Your girlfriend attacking another pregnant woman while being pregnant is not an excuse and reflects the fact that she uses violence to solve major issues. Ab*sive people can hide their real selves for YEARS before that side emerges and it seriously looks like that is the case here.

If my best friend’s boyfriend/girlfriend attacked my spouse and they decided to stay with that person, I would go NC with them in a heartbeat. What if they decided to attack them again? Poison? It’s just dangerous as hell to be around that person. ESPECIALLY IF MY SPOUSE WAS PREGNANT???!!! Wtf.

SpecialistBit283 wrote:

Yeah, something’s wrong with you. Staying with a woman who physically ass*ulted a pregnant woman. Misunderstanding or not, that was a disgusting thing to do and you’re enabling her craziness by staying with her.

Yesimreadytorumble wrote:

“My ex hit my good pregnant friend and me, we broke up and said awful things to each other but I offered to marry her due to her crazy parents”

YIKES.

OP responded:

Well I offered to marry because her parents were trying to force her into an ab*rtion and neither one of us want to terminate. But it was more so if they can approve then they wouldn’t go through with their threats of her finance which were important to her.

And despite how she has acted towards me, we’ve been together for 7 years and she’s been nothing but amazing to me, and I couldn’t not try to help her.

Allshewrote responded:

Scary. She's desperate to make it work and so are you because the idea of split custody is a nightmare. So take a step back, what would you be doing if she wasn't pregnant? Would you still consider a relationship?

OP responded:

No we wouldn’t be in a relationship then nor are we now. We are simply trying to work out how things will be with baby, as I mentioned we both don’t want that.

Educational_Guard88 wrote:

Your girlfriend/ex girlfriend is pregnant. Okay. That doesn't excuse that she PUNCHED A PREGNANT WOMAN. Your significant other is violent. Regardless of the misunderstanding she PUNCHED A PREGNANT WOMAN that she knew was pregnant. Your friend and his wife are the most forgiving people. Beyond understanding forgiving. This is just a messed up situation. Good luck!

Yikes, that's all there is to say here.