"AITA for marrying my dad’s widow after he passed away?"
So, this is going to sound awful no matter how I word it, but please try to keep an open mind. My (26M) dad passed away about a year and a half ago. He was married to Elizabeth (54F) for around 20 years. She’s not my mom and my dad never actually signed my birth certificate (long story, family drama, whatever). So, legally and biologically, we’re not related in any way.
After my dad’s funeral, I kept in touch with Elizabeth because she didn’t have anyone else. She was diagnosed with stage four cancer earlier this year, and her insurance barely covered anything. The bills were getting insane, and she was talking about stopping treatment because she couldn’t afford to keep living like that.
I work a stable job with incredible health benefits the kind that cover dependents at 100%. I asked HR about it, and they said the only way to get someone on my plan like that is if they’re a legal dependent.
So… I offered to marry her, and she hesitantly accepted.
Before anyone jumps to conclusions, it’s not romantic, we don’t live together, we don’t sleep together, and there’s nothing “going on.” I just didn’t want to watch her die when I had the ability to help her live. She cried when I asked her to do it, not because she’s in love with me, but because she didn’t think anyone would care enough to help.
Now my family found out, and they’re absolutely losing their minds. My aunt said I “dishonored” my dad’s memory. My cousin said I “disgust the family” and called me a “walking Jerry Springer episode.” My stepbrother told me I was “sick” and probably doing it for attention.
I get it, it’s weird. I know it sounds bad. But I swear this wasn’t about anything other than helping someone I care about survive. I’ve already been through losing one parent figure. I couldn’t just stand by and let it happen again just because of red tape and medical costs.
So, AITA for marrying my dad’s widow so she could have health insurance while she fights cancer? I don’t think I am, but maybe I’m wrong.
This is what people had to say to OP:
Embarrassed_Advice59 said:
Does your step brother and family know why you did it?
OP responded:
My step brother was born before she married my father in a “situation” he never knew his dad and I was never close with my biological mother. We were raised as brothers. He said I should have found some other way because this is uncomfortable for him.
He isn’t financially stable so gives no support in any way. My family are against it because she was not born into money, they disowned my father when he married her and I assume they will do the same with me.
Organic-Affect-6351 said:
My friends did this so one of them can have insurance for a needed surgery. It worked. It wasn’t romantic. Now they’re married to different people, with families and nothing ever happened.
Casmel03 said:
NTA So did you explain or did you just let people's mind wonder. You dont owe anyone an explanation for anything you do but if you didn't say anything, I kinda get the reaction.
OP responded:
I explained, my family doesn’t like her from when she married my father, he came from money and she didn’t so they practically shooed him away to prove a point that didn’t work out for them. I assume they will push me away now as well. My step brother thinks it’s weird because it’s just his mom to me she isn’t biological but we’ve been raised together so he doesn’t see it past the paper.
GrandFalconer159 said:
This reads like pure BS. Why wouldn't you tell your family you were doing this? You didn't want them to find out? And then they did and because you're actually saving someone they're mad at you?
OP responded:
My family is just my dads side, I’m not connected to my mom and her family is absent, my stepbrother is her son from a “situation” before marrying my dad they married in their 30s when I was six, his family pushed him away and only kept contact for me.
They didn’t approve of her since she wasn’t born into money. They only found out because one of my cousins has me on Facebook and I posted a picture of us at one of my company events where I took her as my plus one. They are mad not because of why just because of who it’s with.
If she was anyone with money they wouldn’t have disowned my dad and they would be happy. They only care about money. My brother finds it weird because we weren’t raised saying step. That’s his biological mom he sees her connection to me the same as him. But it isn’t. He can’t see past the paper. I hope that helps.
And EyesOnTease said:
Heart's in the right place, so hold your head high.