"MIL is upset that she can’t feed baby."
We started out feeding baby bottles because he wasn’t nursing well. He could latch but I have a really strong letdown and he couldn’t handle so I ended up pumping for a few weeks until he got a little stronger.
In this time, anyone could feed the baby because he was taking bottles. IL’s were here just two weeks ago and that’s when I really started the transition back to nursing exclusively (w/ the exception of one MOTN formula).
MIL was present for this and I still let her give him a bottle during the day. Now, I’m EBF. When they got here she immediately asked if she could give him a bottle and I enthusiastically told her “nope! We’re back to full time nursing!”
Hoping she’d be excited for me. She looked… less than excited. Other than the fact that he had JUST nursed and wasn’t hungry anymore, she hit me with the “oh well you can’t pump some?” ……………NO. That’s the WHOLE point of nursing is so that I DONT have to do that. I hated pumping, I only do it if I get engorged and just enough to get my letdown off.
I told her he just ate and doesn’t need to eat right now. She says, “Ohhh that’s silly, babies are always hungry!” Huh??? Sure they’ll rarely reject an opportunity to eat, but they aren’t always hungry.
She’s been upset this whole week that she can’t feed him. Making snide remarks like “don’t you want a break? It’s easier when other people are here so you don’t have to.” You know very well that I DO want to do this. Why would I do it if I didn’t???
Top it off with this morning, I just finished nursing him and came down stairs. She asked if she could hold him and I gave him to her. She starts bouncing him on her leg and I said “don’t shake him up too much he just ate.” She said “oh I’m not he’ll be fine” and continued to do it.
At that point I just waited for him to paint her. Which he did. Her response? “Uh oh! Looks like you need a bottle to replace all that!” LADYYYYYYYYY !!!!!!! I took him back upstairs and put him right back on the boob. Yoooou are nottttt winning this woman! Stop trying!
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
She literally made your baby sick hoping he’d throw up so she can feed him? Ugh! This only supports my theory that some women literally experience brain rot when they transition to grandmothers lol what a loon!
My MIL ask me every time she sees us when are you going to give the baby formula so I can get a chance of feeding her. She hates that I go in the other room every time baby has to eat and that usually means it’s time for her to get the hell out of my house. Told me why don’t you pump the milk into a bottle so everyone can get a turn of feeding her. Like she’s a goat at the zoo.
I can’t understand why people are like this. It’s one thing for a dad to enjoy giving an occasional bottle feed but it is honestly bizarre to me that a grandparent would kick up this much of a fuss over such a mundane thing.
I have almost adult children and would never dream of trying to interfere with how the parents wish to feed their child when I become a grandparent, and would fully support any nursing mother who’s literally giving her child the very best start in life through breastfeeding! Your MIL needs to back off.
I really hope she didn’t jiggle a full tummy baby to make him spit up so she could play mommy. Because it reads like she did. Personally I would kick her out and put her on a very long timeout. This is not her do over baby.
Your baby is not her doll to play with! (I would be sorely tempted to buy her a baby doll that comes with a bottle, and hand that to her every time she tries to interfere with your child.)
Your MIL, your baby's grandmother, bounced him on her leg to make him vomit so she could feed him? Do not trust a word she says and never trust her alone with your baby.
I would hesitate to trust her with him in front of you. She definitely is used to getting her own way all the time. Be prepared for tantrums from her. Be prepared to give her time outs as consequences for them.
I understand wanting her to learn her lesson about not bouncing him when you said not to, but next time don’t allow her to make your baby throw up. Your baby throwing up is not fair to him because of your MIL he shouldn’t have to face the consequence of her selfish behavior.
She did it on purpose to try and give him a bottle. If she’s not listening with the bouncing you snatch your baby back. And tell her once and for all to stop pushing it because he’s nursing now and she needs to get over it.
“Hey MIL! I noticed I got a lot of negative feedback from you about breastfeeding X during your visit. How I feed MY baby is MY business. In the future, if you cannot respect MY choices for the way I am raising MY child, YOU will spend less time with MY child.” Mic drop. Make sure you send it as a text with your spouse, MIL, and FIL so everyone is crystal clear and on the same page as each other.
My god she sounds awful. Just keep shutting it down and if she keeps on with it I’d say “hey mil you’ve brought this up multiple times when I’ve told you no that we are breastfeeding only, I’m worried about you and think it might be time to see a doctor for your memory issues” lol