'AITA for not wanting my husband to go on a trip with his mom without me?'
"AITA for not wanting my husband to go on a trip with his mom without me?"
Elegant_Rip4178
My MIL was supposed to go to Bermuda with her husband but my FIL can’t go because of work so she offered the ticket to my husband. I’m angry because when she asked my husband to go she didn’t even mention me, his own wife for crying out loud!!
I’m not saying she should pay for my ticket but she could have at least acted like I’m in the picture and her son’s wife by saying let’s see if we can get another ticket for your wife. And my husband and I would have paid for it.
It also seems super super weird for a mom to take a solo vacation with her married son without inviting his wife ESPECIALLY to a place that is considered romantic and in place of a trip that her and her HUSBAND were supposed to go on so obviously it’s romantic in nature.
So essentially my husband would be replacing the place of his father which to me is just plain weird when you really think about it. Also I think it’s very odd that her grown married son who has a baby on the way was her first thought instead one of her close girlfriends or her sister. (MIL doesn’t have any daughters so that wasn’t an option)
I guess the combination of that plus not even mentioning or considering me her DIL in the invite and her DIL’s feelings in all of this as well. We live an hour from MIL. Also my husband finds it very strange as well.
I dunno to me to ask your married son to go away solo on a vacation in a romantic destination in the place of your husband and not even mentioning or considering asking his wife alone seems going into the territory of ehhh to me. Screams to me a mom who can’t cut the apron strings.
AITA if I decide to talk to my MIL about my hurt feelings over this and that I shut this idea down to my husband right away? I could be the a$$h0l3 for telling my husband no because I find the trip to be a very odd request on the part of my MIL.
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
Artistic_Thought7309
Either you are not providing full info, or you’re creating unnecessary drama. Your husband says he finds it very strange as well. Can he not say no to his mom? You inserting yourself in this discussion emasculates your husband.
On top if that, by reaching out to your MiL under the reasoning you give, you yourself are hinting into sexualization of their relationship and are behaving like one jealous woman to another.
You have made yourself clear to your husband and he should be the one to politely decline his MiL’s offer. If he will not do that, than i am sorry but you have a husband problem and not a MiL problem.
Tone this down and don’t blow it out of proportion, being so over hurt of this and hinting sexual tones goes way overboard. YWBTA if you approach it the way you describe it above. Have your husband deal with and look beyond this. Don’t let this poison your mind and emotions.
Immediate_Loss_4370
I agree with this 100%. YWBTA if you talk to your MIL. You husband finds it weird, let him address it. Outside of that, you are creating unnecessary drama that could not only affect any relationship you have with your MIL, but with your husband as well. You have a child on the way, so do yourself and your relationship a favor, step back, take some deep breaths to relax, and think about why this has upset you so much.
If your husband has not addressed it yet, then have a calm discussion about why it has upset you. But it sounds like your husband will be addressing it, so maybe you need to take action on the subtext around why this has gotten you so upset.
bluepvtstorm
YTA. Last minute trip. Also, you don’t have to go to everything. The world doesn’t revolve around you. It’s his mother. There is one seat available. Maybe she wants to do one last thing with her son before he becomes a father. He’s her baby. You aren’t attached at the hip and Bermuda is not solely a romantic destination.
I get it, you think it’s weird for whatever reason but if your mom invited you on a mother daughter trip or you dad wanted to treat you to a trip before you became a mom, you probably wouldn’t blink an eye. You seem kind of jealous and insecure. Probably should work on that. It doesn’t bode well for the future.
Additional_Flan_6594
YTA. You sound incredibly jeaous, self-centered, needy, and insecure. Instead of asking if YTA (which, obviously, you are), you should maybe seek counseling to find out why so insecure and jealous.
Slayerofdrums
YTA. I would find it weird if a mother could not ask her son to go on a trip. Esp as his life is about to change cause there's a baby on the way. You sound jealous that you cannot go, but this is not a planned trip you were not invited to....this is a ticket suddenly being available, one ticket. Stop being envious and be supportive of your partner going on a trip with his mom.
ThinAdjacent
YTA. Respectfully. Your husband is allowed to take a trip with his mom, one on one. Also, he wasn’t even her number one choice. She isn’t doing this to spite you. It isn’t weird either.
You sound like you don’t really like her and you will search for anything to be mad at. This is only a snippet of your life, so I can’t make any real inferences. That said, I really wish you a smooth pregnancy. Congratulations on expanding your family!