MIL starts feud over gift for grandchild, 'she regularly tries to redecorate my house.' AITA?
"Mother In Law issue: AITA?"
My MIL bought my daughter a small, inexpensive plastic container for Christmas last year. She put foam letters on the lid to spell my daughter’s name and gifted it to her with craft supplies inside.
The lid to it falls off easily and it’s cumbersome to keep on. It’s also difficult to stack any other items on it which is important to note because we put all of my daughter’s arts and crafts on a shelf.
I was cleaning and organizing over the weekend and was able to get rid of some items so that I could put all of my daughter’s craft supplies in a tote that has a full snap locking mechanism so that the risk of spilling is minimal.
It also matches other totes in my dining room (where we keep her arts and crafts). I then took the one my MIL bought her and used it in our storage area to hold things we don’t use frequently.
My MIL regularly buys my daughter cheap things that break easily or that do not match anything we have in our home and it creates loads of clutter. I have thrown away numerous toys that break within a couple days or things that just do not have any use.
My MIL comes over through the week to get our daughter off of the bus (she stays 2 days a week). As we are eating dinner last night, she says “I’m going to ask this in the nicest way possible- why did you take all of her craft stuff out of the plastic box I bought her and use it for your own stuff?”
I said “It doesn’t match the other containers and the one I gave her has more room and locks better. Also, she is my daughter and this is my house and I can choose what sits out and what doesn't."
She immediately was pissed and told me it doesn’t matter, she bought it for my daughter and she doesnt understand why it can’t sit out and be used for the purpose she bought it for.
Some backstory: she regularly tries to redecorate my house. Before my husband and I were married, she would put up pictures of my husband and his brother from when they were 5.
We would take them down and the following week she would put them back up. She has not had a home of her own in 20 years and lives with her sister in a small trailer. I believe when she comes over she looks at our home as hers and has the same authority that we do. AITAH?
Here's what top commenters had to say:
talithar1 said:
Hang the foam letter name lid in your daughter’s room. It will remind her of the thought, effort, and love grandma put into it. Do what you will with the container.
PatientAd4823 said:
My grandma used to buy me cheap little toys about 1x/week when she came over for dinner. Little paper dolls, a little purse, a puzzle, a coloring book, a folding rain hood. Just little 5 & dime things she could afford as a seamstress so that I could have a little fun. I don't think she ever expected these to be keepers.
They were probably piled in my room like I tended to do. Many things were just little touchstones that reminded me of Grandma. Does your daughter have that sort of relationship with her? Yeah, once I give something to a child, I don't expect to ever see it in use.
eccatameccata said:
I would tell her it broke. No matter what it is, say it broke. Again and again.
reeserdog said:
Your wording to her could have been kinder. She does help you out by getting your daughter off the bus. Kids don’t care if things match. She tried to do something nice for your daughter.
Key-Caregiver4262 said:
NTA for not using it. But you could’ve just said “the kid wouldn’t stay on” the whole my house blah blah blah wasn’t really necessary.