'My MIL tried to ruin my wedding day so I got my petty revenge.'

"I had cereal at my wedding to spite my MIL."

Me (29F) and my husband Jim (34M) have been married for 10 years. We were very young when we met, and didn't date long before we got married (I was 19 and he was 24). We have a five year age gap, but I moved through life pretty fast (Graduated High School at 15, working full time by 16), and honestly it didn't seem that weird to anyone who knew us.

Anyways, I first met my MIL (Sandy) a few weeks into our relationship. Honestly, she seemed disinterested in me or our relationship. (Looking back, I'm pretty sure that's because she didn't think our relationship would turn into something serious or long term.)

I would come over and Jim and I would have dinner or hang out watching tv, but Sandy mostly made herself scarce or would have small chats with us about whatever. I don't remember ever thinking she would be a problem. But then came the engagement....

The engagement was very beautiful and well thought-out. I was extremely surprised and both of my parents attended. I asked why his parents hadn't come - he let me know that he had invited them but they were "busy."

Immediately after proposing, we called his parents to let them know, and they sounded like he had told them he bought a new pair of shoes or something. It was strange to say the least, but I didn't dwell on it too much - I was just ecstatic to be getting married.

About a week or two later, everything completely changed. Once Sandy saw the ring on my finger and had a realization that we would *actually* get married, I think something inside her broke. Her disinterest in us turned into a complete fixation on sabotaging our relationship. She became my opposition in every way.

I wanted a simple centerpiece bouquet of babys breath and white roses, she demanded silk flowers. My husband suggested Italian food for dinner, she wanted Mexican. We picked a venue on a hill that overlooked the city, She insisted we get married in a garden. Anything and everything we made a decision on, she would argue.

She also hated whenever I would show affection to Jim. She would be sure to choose the seat next to him, or walk with her hand on his arm, and it felt like she was competing for attention. My husband was always at my defense, and always trying to reason with Sandy. Honestly, I think this was a side of her even he wasn't familiar with. It got exhausting.

At one point, I kid you not, Sandy actually called my mother and told her that "I was too young, and therefore do not get a say in this wedding." Welp, if my mother taught me anything, it was to be resilient and resourceful, and maybe a little petty. My parents had my back.

Prior to my wedding dress appointment, Sandy had made a big point to let everyone know she would be providing the wedding dress as a wedding present. Even walking in, she let me know that she had an envelope of cash with her and that I could pick anything I wanted in the store, not to worry about it. We pulled a few pieces off the racks, including one that I had bookmarked on my phone months prior.

It was an off-white fitted Oleg Cassini dress with a high-low hem and a large train down the back. It was a satin finish with small straps to hold it up. It was *VERY* Audrey Hepburn inspired. I loved absolutely everything about this dress EXCEPT for the high-low hem. My mother in law, however, seemed to hate everything about this dress and began to berate every little thing I liked. "The Satin looks cheap"

"You look too short." and my favorite insult: "Jim would HATE that dress." Because she was picking the dress, I felt impelled to get the one she liked, even though everyone in my party could tell I didn't care for it. It was a fitted tulle mermaid dress with a sweetheart neckline. Just like every other wedding dress that year.

Once the dress she liked was chosen, she handed me the envelope and left the store before everyone else even rose from their seats. When I got up to the register to pay, the envelope held less than $200 cash. It didn't even cover the cost of my headpiece.

She had seen every price tag along with us, and knew how much wedding dresses cost. She had picked ones for me to try that were far above that price tag. My group rallied for me and ultimately scrounged up enough money on credit cards to pay for the dress. This is when I decided I was done being nice.

Several months later, when the dress came into the shop, I went to pick it up. I took JUST my mom. I asked if the dress could be returned - and they told me since it hadn't left the shop or been altered, I could exchange it for another dress of equal or higher value. Game on. My mom and I went back to the Oleg Cassini dress I had fallen in love with, and guess what... they had it IN A FULL LENGTH FORM.

I tried it on and instantly knew I could not leave without it. I exchanged the dresses. Not only that, but because the Oleg Cassini dress was so much cheaper than my original dress, I also was able to get the full corset bra, full alterations, and upgrade my veil to a longer, hand-beaded one. We did not tell my mother in law anything about it.

There were other instances that happened after that, but I always stood my ground. Once my dad and I were talking in a group (consisting of my in laws) about how guests need something to eat prior to the dinner, but after the ceremony (a cocktail hour) and my Dad made the joke that "Sometimes you just really want a bowl of cereal or something."

I said that we should have a cereal bar like they have for continental breakfast at a hotel. Sandy said "you will NOT have a cereal bar. Absolutely not. I forbid it." Guess who had a cereal bar.....? WE DID. The guests understood the assignment too, and they went ham.

We had all the fancy dispensers and all the different kinds of milk - almond, whole, 2%, oat. We had gluten free options and low-sugar options. It started as a joke but I regret nothing. I made sure the photographer got lots of pictures of our guests eating cereal.

Anyways - fast forward to our wedding, and Sandy is busy getting ready at a nearby salon, so she didn't have a clue what was going on, being set up, ect - which proved to be awesome because she couldn't fight anyone on anything. I didn't actually see her until she walked down the aisle before me.

It surprised me ZERO that she was wearing a full-length, silver, sequined (fully sequined), mermaid-style gown with a sweetheart neckline. (The same style she though I had purchased) Her hair was pulled into a beehive and she had full-glam makeup. She stood out like a sore thumb.

Silver wasn't even one of our wedding colors. It didn't match the style at all. It was more of a "Mother of Daisy Buchanan" Dress. She was so focused on herself that she actually never realized I switched the dresses. Even to this day it has never come up. I still laugh when I think about it.

We've been married now for just over 10 years, and he is still the love of my life. The first few years of our marriage were very very challenging with learning how to handle interactions with her. To this day she doesn't understand why we aren't a "close bonded family."

But I also have been through enough therapy to know there are a lot of mental health issues to unpack there. Jim and I set boundaries, and have enforced them through the years. I can honestly say we live a pretty calm life now - like I had imagined all those years ago!

This is what people had to say to OP:

canyouhearthelight said:

1.) the dress you loved sounds GORGEOUS and I would love a pic of it.

2.) the cereal bar is inspired, with bonus points for petty. I would love attending a wedding like that... Just some Cheerios before dinner!

sitnquiet said:

Congratulations on powering through the noise! (And congratulations for having a man who has your back - most of these stories feature sucky mommy's boys...)

JustWowinCA said:

LOL, what was her face when she saw your dress? I love that you keep very good boundaries with her. Yikes though, how to sail through life being this unaware?

Adorable_Strength319 said:

What a great story! Love it. Did she look like a herring with eye shadow in all those silver sequins? The cereal bar sounds delightful.