Son tells mom she'll never meet grandkid if she doesn't apologize for wedding proposal.
"AITA for refusing to allow my mom to meet my daughter until my wife gets her apology?"
Embarrassed_Ruin5857
My beautiful wife and I are expecting a little girl. My mom and wife have never had a good relationship. I would say they are both somewhat to blame, and as the guy constantly caught in the middle it sucks.
When we got married last year my mom got proposed to at the wedding. She was clearly mortified and wasn’t even dating the guy but my dad (her ex) put him up to it as a prank.
To be clear neither my wife or I think she was in on it. She is the type who would die if someone proposed to her like that when if they were together as she hates anything cheesy or over romantic.
The offending friend was kicked out of the wedding, but my wife was devastated and I had to cut contact with my dad. My wife didn’t blame my mom but was upset that she continued to sit with my dad and the other guy for the rest of the reception.
The guy who did it has a history of being an a$$h0l3. He has more money than sense, and women go crazy fan girling him so he thinks he can get away with whatever.
It has recently come to our attention that my mom and the proposal guy are dating. My MIL sent me a picture of them kissing and another picture of him touching her bum. I called my mom and confronted her as I felt hurt she wouldn’t tell me. She totally deflected and just called MIL a freak and sais she was just obsessed with her.
When my wife found out she lost it. She banned my mom from the house, uninvited her from the baby shower and said she can’t meet our future daughter until she apologizes for dating him. She said she won’t ask her to break up with him but needs a real apology.
My mom laughed it off as a joke and assumed I wouldn’t take it seriously. I told her that I was sorry for the situation but my wife is the mother of my child and the co-owner of the house and I have to back her.
I said if she wants a relationship with her granddaughter she needs to apologize. She told me we can all get lost, including the baby, and is now ignoring me. multiple people have said I’ve gone too far and called me names like whipped or controlling.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
champagneformyrealfr
YTA, your wife's reaction should be a joke. if anything, maybe the new boyfriend owes you both an apology for the stupid prank at your wedding, but your mother doesn't need to apologize to your wife for dating someone.
Accomplished_Two1611
Apologizes for dating him? While your mom's taste in men may be questionable, your wife has no right to demand an apology. The prankster should apologize for the wedding shenanigans, yes. I probably wouldn't invite him to functions , at least till her proves he can act responsibly. But your wife is way off track and you need to talk to her.
4games1
Rofl, YTA as is your wife. Enjoy that life.
lihzee
This is asinine. Your wife doesn't deserve an apology for your mom choosing to date this guy - it wouldn't be a genuine apology anyway because your mom isn't sorry.
She's willingly dating the guy and wants to date him, so what, exactly, does your wife want her to apologize for? What good is this hollow, empty apology going to do? Why do they have a bad relationship in the first place?
Relevant-Position-43
NAH. Of course your wife's demand is ridiculous but your mother's Usual Suspects response to extortion - shooting you all down including the grandchild - and her ignoring your pathetic attempts to reach out makes it all better. For me, at least.
dbee8q
Now you have had a baby, you and your wife should really grow up. Hardly the end of the world. YTA.
TheGoodJeans
ESH... The dude caused a huge ruckus at your wedding over a prank (a pretty cruel one, too). While your mom doesn't need to apologize for falling for him, she did insult your wife's mother. Where I come from, that's a fight on sight (don't be talking bout my momma).
If your wife doesn't want a relationship with your mom, that is fine, but it is not okay to weaponize her unborn child as an ultimatum to get what she wants. You don't HAVE to back her.
Is it good that you want yo be supportive of your partner and respect her role in your life as such? Yes. She is your equal, and you are acting like it, but never forget: A person chooses, and a slave obeys.
ptazdba
Step up!!! When you get married your wife and children should be top priority over your parents and siblings. And she's the gatekeeper to the grandchild, so your Mom needs to understand priorities here. She's not in control. If she doesn't want that--it's on her. You sound like your priorities are in the right place. Your Mother has a few bridges and fences to fix.
Sorry-Thing7797
YTA and so is your wife. Are you happy being a doormat? Because that’s what you are. Your wife is overreacting. In no way is your mum dating the guy who jokingly proposed to her at your wedding good enough reason for her to ban you and your unborn child from seeing her. The only one id say owes your wife an apology is the boyfriend, not your mom.