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'Miserable' woman refuses to cook Thanksgiving threes years in a row, 'I ruin every single holiday.' AITA?

'Miserable' woman refuses to cook Thanksgiving threes years in a row, 'I ruin every single holiday.' AITA?


"AITA for not wanting to make Thanksgiving dinner?"

I (27F) have been with my BF (25M) for 5 years now. This will be our 6th Thanksgiving together. I have cooked the last 3 dinners myself. My family lives overseas so the holidays are usually spent with his family.

This year, his grandmother who lives in a neighboring state invited him over for Thanksgiving. He initially said yes but he got his work schedule late and realized he was working Wednesday and Friday night, so he wouldn’t have time to drive there and back. So he told me we’d be having Thanksgiving here again.

I confirmed with him multiple times that we were making dinner here before I went and bought all the ingredients because I only had $200 in my account and Thanksgiving ingredients are expensive as hell.

Well, this morning he told me that he found someone to cover his shift on Wednesday so he’d be leaving to his Grandmas’s this morning and will be coming back Thursday night so there won’t be a need to make the dinner this year. I was half asleep when I responded “then why would you have me buy everything."

He started flipping out telling me that I’m a miserable person who wants him to be miserable with me, that I ruin every single holiday, that it's not his fault my family doesn’t spend the holidays with me, etc.

A couple hours later, he told me he was sorry and that he’d be coming back early on Thursday so we can make dinner (or rather I make it for him when he arrives lol). I told him no thanks and that I don’t really want to spend the holidays with him, y’know since he says I ruin them and all.

I’m also perfectly happy eating a box of stuffing alone for Thanksgiving while watching a movie so I don’t really see the need to make the dinner tbh. I don’t even know if I want to still be with him so why bother? He’s now saying that I’m being an AH and petty.

My friends are saying that I should just go ahead and make the dinner since its the holidays, and that it is pretty petty to not make it since I brought up the fact I bought everything when he told me he was leaving. Idk, AITA?

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

acrylicmole said:

Why isn’t he buying the food? Nta it sounds like you’re done and you need a good reason for ending it. Here’s your sign. Make yourself a nice meal.

LeaJadis said:

Why wouldn’t he invite you to his grandma's? You’ve been together 5 years!!! Even if you went to her place one day and cooked for you guys another Night?

outoftea_and_grumpy said:

Obligatory dump him. I mean if someone said I ruin everything by being there it'd be the point of no return for me. NTA, and think long and hard about whether this relationship is worth it.

I mean you spent the last remaining chunk of money in your account to make the holidays good for him, and he did not care. or worse, he was ready to leave you and said you ruin everything for him. So uh...Why would you wanna stay with a person like that?

Emotional_Bonus_934 said:

NTA. Break up with him, he's not nice at all. Enjoy your movie and stuffing. While it's cooking you can look for a place to move to.

briareus08 said:

NTA. It’s not petty. What he did was sh$tty, and there’s so many wrong things in your post I don’t know where to start. Dump him, he’s an AH.

Haunting_Anxiety5 said:

NTA. He asked you to make dinner because he couldn't attend. Changes plans last minute after you've made expenses, changes plans again and wants you to make the whole dinner again. Yeah, he is indecisive and blaming you. Drop him, he will come up bigger issues later on. And you've already made up your mind to leave him.

Everyone was on OP's side for this one. What's your advice for this couple?

Sources: Reddit
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