MOH bans emotional support dog from being 'cooped up in a crate' on Vegas bachelorette. AITA?
"AITA for telling a bridesmaid she can't bring her dog to the bachelorette party?"
I (30F) am the maid of honor for my sister (32F)'s wedding. We're planning a bachelorette weekend in Vegas since my sister has never been before and has always wanted to go. We plan to be out of the hotel as much as possible, making the most of our trip.
One of the bridesmaids (28F) recently asked in the groupchat about accommodations for her dog, a fifty-pound Australian shepherd. I was confused...she wanted to bring her dog?
The bridesmaid said the dog was an ESA (emotional support animal) and that she likes to have her dog there on planes (we live on the east coast and will be flying to Vegas).
We literally flew to Istanbul together not six months ago without this dog and there was no issue whatsoever. And when we get to Vegas, does she plan on just...keeping her dog all cooped up in her crate the entire time?!
The hotel we're booking does have dog-friendly rooms, but doesn't allow pets to roam freely around the hotel room unsupervised - the dog would have to stay in that crate for god-knows-how-long each day.
That can't be great for the dog. On top of that, our other younger sister coming on the trip is very allergic to dogs. We don't have the money to just let this one bridesmaid book her own room for just herself and the dog to prevent my younger sister having an allergic reaction. Unless this bridesmaid was willing to pay for a room herself, I told her she couldn't bring her dog on this trip.
I thought that was going to be the end of it, since this was definitely reasonable on my part (in my opinion), but this bridesmaid is now being super pissy with me and saying how it's sooo wrong and horrible of me not to let her bring her ESA.
Bearing in mind she's been absolutely fine without the dog in the past on much longer flights. Bearing in mind I even told her she could bring the dog IF she was able to pay for a room of her own so that my sister doesn't have a reaction. Please just put this one to bed. Am I the ahole here?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Stardust777788 said:
NTA "Bearing in mind I even told her she could bring the dog IF she was able to pay for a room of her own so that my sister doesn't have a reaction." So she's being cheap and considering locking up her pup in a small cage, not taking allergies into account? She sounds like a pretty self-centered individual. You're doing the pup a favor...
ParsimoniousSalad said:
NTA. She can pay for her own room if she wants. Your sister is allergic. You are not required to accommodate her ESA in any other way. That's leaving aside all issues about how much she might actually need the dog, and the quality of life for the poor dog trapped in a crate in a hotel room in Vegas.
kiwimuz said:
NTA. She is wanting to bring her pet so she can foot full cost on that herself. It is not a proper service animal (eg guide dog) so it does not need to be there at all. Your younger sister’s legitimate allergy trumps taking a pet.
SFGuyCMT said:
NTA. The bridesmaid is making a power move, since by your firsthand experience, she travels without her dog at other times. Red flag for actual wedding day! But honestly, this may be something on which you defer to your sister, the bride. (I’m assuming the bridesmaid is more your sister’s friend than she is yours.)
bjorkenstocks said:
NTA. For what it's worth, you don't want to go with the argument that she didn't need the dog on the earlier trip, because a trip out of the country would've probably required quarantine, and it would've made no sense to take an ESA she was going to be separated from the whole time anyway.
You've got conflicting needs, so you're accommodating the person with the allergy AND the sister of the bride, who outranks the bridesmaid in terms of priority.
neophenx said:
NTA. Tons of situations, venues, and lifestyles, are not exactly the best things to have pets involved with. Also, a 50 lb dog on a plane? I've never heard of a plane having animals like that just on-flight. Maybe tucked away in a travel cage/carrier, but that is NOT a small dog that can just sit on someone's lap.
Sounds more like your friend needs an actual therapist to address some deep-rooted dependency issues that she's using an "emotional support animal" to cover up.