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MOH tells 'bridezilla' sister with cold feet to 'stop wasting everyone's time;' AITA?

MOH tells 'bridezilla' sister with cold feet to 'stop wasting everyone's time;' AITA?


Getting cold feet before a wedding is normal, but canceling and rescheduling the wedding multiples times is crossing a line into 'Zilla territory...

So, when a conflicted Maid of Honor decided to vent to the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As^hole' about calling her sister out on her wedding flakiness, people were eager to hear the gossip.

AITA (Am I the As&hole) for telling a bridezilla to stop wasting everyone's time?

My sister, 32, recently got engaged with her 1 ½ year long boyfriend after several failed relationships.

Our family was filled with joy upon receiving the news especially I, 24, finally had the chance to be a bridesmaid. Since it is my first experience as one, I vowed to my sister to do everything I could to help her plan the wedding.

True enough, we did start planning it ASAP since she's a very meticulous and indecisive one.

We both agreed to finalize first the entourage list so we could immediately inform other bridesmaid, her maid of honor, & other sponsors to help if it is possible.

Until she spoke the difference of a bridesmaid and MOH. She told me that she wanted ME to be the MOH however she had promised to a childhood friend it will be hers.

I honestly don't care about it, all I want is to help in planning everything --which her MOH can't do since she lives in a different state. It is fine with me to take the job description even if it wasn't my role. I am just really willing to help as I love this kind of thing.

So, it is settled. For the past 3 months, Day by day, minute by sister would message me regarding her plans, moodboards & etc. I don't mind. She would even be dictate the EXACT details she wants for the wedding. She even asked me to make her a planner, I obliged.

Most if the time, she will call me in the middle of the night just to confirm some appointments or just to ask minor details. She also loves announcing everything connected to the event. However, in those 3 months --she has constantly called off the wedding because of a few things.

First, she thinks her fiance is cheating with only a gut feeling as per proof. Second, she hates it when our parents doesn't get involved yet still hates it if they give opinions or comments that doesn't sound good to her.

Lastly, she wants her fiance fully committed in planning the wedding even if her fiance kept on telling that go plan it the way she wants.

Take note, her fiance is already focused on the catering, dj, & etc. Almost half of the wedding plans.

She would usually do this and then after few days we are again planning her wedding as if nothing had happened. After we called suppliers, cancelling and then booking it again!!

Last week, she again called off the wedding because apparently she caught her fiance cheating. I am the only one she told about it this time. I just felt irritated and lashed out that she should not be getting married for real if she will just call it off and then on again.

She blankly stared at me and exited the coffee shop. And yesterday, she again went on planning with me as if nothing happened. I, however, didn't respond to all of her messages. She got mad and threatened to cut me off from the entourage list.

Some of the bridesmaids, our cousin, told me I was very rude & disrespectful of the bride/my sister. That wedding planning sucks, stressful & full of anxiety attacks. I should be more considerate. AITA for not tolerating it?

Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say about this one:

Dipping_My_Toes said:

NTA - you are playing with a live grenade here. Put it down and back away out of the shrapnel zone. Your sister is in no way ready to get married and she's just going to continue this insane back and forth. Take yourself out of it and let her cope. Enough is enough.

Slight-Bar-534 said:

Middle of the night phone calls? NTA. I'm exhausted reading this.

LaMishiMitotera said:

NTA. You are not her doormat, drop the job and tell her to find somebody else.

[deleted] said:

NTA. Step away from any and all wedding planning and just Have her tell you when to show up for the date and what to wear. And leave the rest to her.

feathersandheroin said:

NTA. Your sister is being ridiculous.

RatherBeACat said:

NTA. To me this reads like she has HUGE control issues. Wanting every minute detail to be perfect, (I get that weddings are stressful and all, but there is a limit here).

Constantly berating her boyfriend, who is actually making an effort with helping and accusing him of cheating, yelling at her parents for not being involved and then berating them when they are?

This woman needs to do some serious self-reflecting and defo not get married. I am exhausted just reading this.

Later, the post was updated to include:

UPDATE: My parents along with my brother and the fiance discussed how we should handle the situation. They decided to let her call it off and on but never cancel any suppliers anymore. They think she's having cold feet.

I also decided not to help anymore for the next preparations. The only thing I want now is for it to be over. Don't you worry my parents are not siding with her.

So, there you have it...

Note to all brides with cold feet out there, don't force your Maid of Honor to play a back and forth 'will they won't they' dance of juggling vendors. It's hard enough trying to focus on planning a speech, a bachelorette party and a bridal shower--you don't need to wonder if the wedding is going to happen as well.

Sources: Reddit
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