Mom and her autistic kid are kicked out of a 'party for a dog' on private beach. AITA?
"AITA for kicking a lady and her autistic kid out of my beach party?"
I booked a stretch of private beach for my dog's party. It's something I've been wanting to do for a while since my dog loves the beach, but normally she's not allowed off leash. I just wanted her to be able to run and enjoy to her heart's content. I invited a lot of people and their large dogs, so there's a bunch of large dogs running around.
The private beach is right next to a public beach. There's also signs at the boundaries informing the public that this particular stretch is privately owned, but no fence or border so it's easy to miss. However, normally, the beach is open to the public. The beach club that owns it has signs that it's closed for a private event in the clubhouse.
It's also a spot that's usually very family friendly and so there's always a bunch of kids. That weekend was especially crowded since it was a holiday weekend (CNY). So some people and some kids made their way onto the edge of the private beach (they probably didn't know). I didn't do anything since the stretch I was on was still feeling pretty private.
Then one couple and their kid make their way closer us. Granted, we're on the nicest stretch where all the umbrellas and beds are, but they're still keeping a bit of distance, so I let them be. Their kid is playing on the beach, the dogs are having fun.
We start tossing a ball as far as we can up and down the beach, so the pack of dogs is just losing their minds going after it. Then the lady starts yelling at us to "control your dogs", about how we're being "selfish" by monopolizing the beach and scaring away the other beach-goers by having our dogs running around.
She starts lecturing me about how dogs are required to be on leash on this beach, and how I'm triggering her autistic kid and ruining their family day. One of the dogs shook and sprayed her kid with water, and her kid was melting down.
I apologize and then tell her that I don't have to do anything about the dogs since I booked the beach for them, and that she and her kid needs to leave. She doesn't take me seriously. She points out all the other couples and kids on the private beach.
She thinks that if they can use it, then she can as well. I point out that none of the other kids are bothered by the dogs or having a screaming meltdown, but hers is. Then she claims I'm discriminating against her for having an autistic kid. I get the staff to kick her out. She tries to sneak in at the boundaries because it is much nicer and quieter than on the public beach, but I notice and tell the staff to kick just her out again.
Some people think I'm being too harsh because I won't even let her stay when they're at the very edge a distance away and not bothering us, especially because it's rare for an autistic kid to get a nice quiet stretch of beach. But I want to enjoy my day without being mindful of potentially triggering her or her kid again. AITA for repeatedly kicking out a lady because her autistic kid was triggered and melting down at my beach party?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
carmabound said:
NTA - You paid for the private beach so the dogs could enjoy it. Once she knew the situation, she should have respected the boundaries and realized she was wrong. It would be one thing if she had been kind in the first place, but she was rude. It wasn't so much about the kid being autistic, as it was about the way she handled the situation. What goes around comes around...
Illegal-Avocado-2975 said:
NTA. This is really simple and there's no grey area. I'm even going to ignore the autism bit. You rented a private beach for a private function. They were not invited to said event. They should not have entered the private space.
It's that simple. There's no difference between a party at someone's backyard, or a rented birthday room at a Party Facility, a rented park pavilion, or a private beach. Private is private and they should have respected that. Cut! Print! Check the gate! Moving on.
MysticAvery said:
NTA. You literally rented the beach. That’s like crashing a wedding and then complaining about the music. The entitlement is unreal. If her kid needed a quiet space, maybe a holiday weekend at a packed beach wasn’t the move? Hope your dog had the best time living their off-leash dream.
mrtnmnhntr said:
YTA private beaches are BS, all beaches should belong to the community who lives there and rich people should not be able to own the coastline.
HappyGiraffe said:
I’m definitely the minority but ESH. A section of private beach that is directly connected to a public beach, with no legitimate fencing or other obvious delineations is a really poor spot to host an off leash “dog party” where a “pack” of dogs are playing. Do the dogs know where the “property line” is? What about the safety of other leashed dogs on the public side?
By your account the woman was entitled but you also allowed them to get increasingly close to your party because it was fine until it wasn’t. She sucks, this beach sucks and this party for dogs was weird.
LightPhotographer said:
NTA If that beach is rentable, she can rent it herself. If she wants to enjoy the beach, you let her. If she wants to walk around like she owns it, she's over the line.