Mom craves a quiet Christmas after postpartum medical trauma. AITA?

"AITA for wanting a quiet Christmas after my baby spent nearly a month in the NICU?"

I recently gave birth at the end of November. Original plan was to visit my in-laws for Christmas Eve, Christmas, & Boxing Day. It would've given us a month to have our baby home & get into a routine.

Life threw us a curve ball - she was admitted to the NICU, she remained there for nearly a month. She has now been home for 3 full days. I also had some trouble myself as I suffered a postpartum hemorrhage at home 2 weeks ago. Baby still has medicine & needs blood sugars monitored. It has been a bumpy and stressful journey.

Now Christmas is soon & we've decided to stay home. The in-laws are more than welcome to come for short visits, I was even open to a short Christmas day visit, but we would not be leaving the comfort of our house.

As a result my MIL is very upset. She doesn't even want to come down to visit. She especially didn't want to come down to visit us when she learnt another family member was going to visit around the same time frame.

My MIL is very much "I'll hold the baby so you can get stuff done." This other family member baked/cooked for us, did laundry, & cleaned up my blood after I hemorrhaged at home.

My wife mentioned that she knew this would happen & that either myself or her mom would be upset, that its a no win situation. My wife is quite passive/neutral in the matter. She hasn't "taken sides" so to speak.

I've compromised a lot in this situation. I let her visit when we were home less than a day (I wanted at least a couple days). I'm offering more visits around the holidays. I've agreed to come down Jan 1st for a visit. I don't know what else to do. AITA?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

Deflated_Hypnotist said:

NTA! You don't just have a MIL problem, you have a wife problem. You and baby are staying home, everyone else adapts Decline to engage in any discussion about it.

guadianariverdragon said:

NTA, and your wife needs to step up, stop being "neutral" and defend you. You experienced a life-threatening complication two weeks ago that you're still mentally and physically recovering from, and you deserve space to enjoy your baby, finally, with some peace.

If you get that space, it's absolutely is a 'win' for your family. The good news is that the "trash has taken itself out" so to speak, and MIL's passive aggressive nonsense means you aren't getting a visit anyway.

WineAndDogs2020 said:

NTA. You and your baby nearly died. Your wife needs to grow up and protect her family from undue stress. Her "not taking a side" IS choosing a side, and it's not yours.

carr1e said:

NTA and your MIL is lucky you even extended an option to visit at your house. With a newborn just out of the NICU, it would be your right to not want anyone around to avoid any illness exposure.

DonnesIsland said:

Oh my - NTA at all. I’m concerned you’re even asking the question. “I just birthed a whole human, nearly bled out in the process, and baby just got out of the nicu. I’m sorry you don’t understand, but we’re staying home.” Also: “it’s not open for discussion."

Khalisti said:

NTA your wife needs to be on your child's side.