Mom finally hits breaking point, sends 12-year-old nephew home. 'I won't be disrespected.' AITA?
"AITA for sending my nephew home for disrespecting me after everything I’ve done?"
Me and my fiancé have been having a set of our own issues for months. We have 3 children (9, 5, 2) Recently his mom (who helps take care of his nephew (12) has been just dropping him off at our house without calling or permission. The last several times I just let it go. But once he stayed for a week straight during fall break. I finally had to send him home cause school was starting again.
Then I took him halloween trick or treating and found out they haven’t had electricity or water for well over a month. And he told me he had no clothes or food. Without hesitation I took him to my house and set a plan to take him to school the following week and worked it all around my work schedule because my fiancé couldn’t. I told the grandmother and let her know he was fine.
I took him shopping and got him all new clothes, underwear, shoes, socks, etc. He stayed for over a week and I noticed he wouldn’t get off our PS5. Refused to take showers, and didn’t listen to me about much of anything. He also refused going to school for me, he even missed two days because he refused. It stressed me out.
My fiancé was no help. Didn’t enforce anything, never asked if I needed any help. I had to do it all by myself on top of work, and my own children. I finally HIT my breaking point. It was Sunday today, church.
I worked until 9 am came straight home to get everyone ready for church at 11. My fiancé is of course watching football and acts like he couldn’t lift a finger but okay. I did it. Get everyone in the car and he has a bad attitude.
Go to gas station where he keeps making slick remarks I finally snap back. I’m overwhelmed. I’m dealing with all this and he has done little to nothing with me. He gets out of the car and started WALKING down the highway.
I of course pull up to him and tell him to get in the vehicle. His nephew starts trying to get out the car to “walk with him” I tell him no, that’s not safe just please stop.
My fiancé gets back in and is livid at me and said I’ve been “being a b” his nephew immediately chimed in saying “oh yeah I definitely agree” I cut him off and said basically to stay out of it.
My daughter comes to me after we get home and tells me that she didn’t want him staying at our house anymore because he told her and my fiancé that “he never really liked me” and I’ve always been “stuck up” and he can’t “stand me."
So, I just basically lost it. Not at them of course. But I called the grandma and said I couldn’t do it today or right now. I won’t be disrespected like this in my home, from anyone. But my fiancé says I’m an ahole basically for sending him back home…. I just don’t know how much more I can take.
Here's what the top commenters had to say about this one:
leftytrash161 said:
NTA. Send your fiance back to his mummy as well until he learns to stop being a useless drain on your household.
Electronic_Fox_6383 said:
Sorry, sis, but I'd be dropping the fiancé off as well. You have a much bigger problem on your hands than a rude nephew and I expect you know that already. Please prioritize your and your children's well-being and don't let anyone interfere with that. Anyone. NTA.
wlfwrtr said:
NTA Does boyfriend bring anything to this relationship besides teaching your children how to disrespect you? And you showing them that it's okay because you'll take it?
Mehitabel9 said:
You have a way bigger fiance problem than you have a nephew problem, sweets. Waaay haaaay HAAAAY bigger. You claim that you won't be disrespected in your home by anyone, but you'll let that guy talk to you like that? Worse yet, in front of your kids and your nephew? Wake. Up.
wlfwrtr said:
NTA Does boyfriend bring anything to this relationship besides teaching your children how to disrespect you? And you showing them that it's okay because you'll take it?
MNConcerto said:
NTA, sounds like your fiance is 12 years old as well. He needs to grow up.