Mom gets accused of 'starving' her grown kids, she says, 'I'm NOT shelling out more cash for these freeloaders.' AITA?

When this mom is fed up with her kids, she asks the internet:

'AITA for cheaping out on food for my kids?'

Two of my children still live with me at home. Neither one decided to go to college and both have crappy minimum wage jobs.

They have an inheritance from their grandparents that they will get when they are 25. It's enough to live of if you live frugally for your entire life. But it seems like a lot of money.

Their older sister just moved out after graduating from college. She did the grocery shopping and the cooking for the house. I gave her money and she took care of it.

I tried this with the middle kid the first week after his sister moved out. Him and his brother spent all the money on delivery in two days.

I didn't give them more money so they had to spend their own. They were pissed.

So now I buy the basics. Pasta, bread, eggs, cheese. That sort of thing. And I only cook for myself. My ex husband, my daughter, and myself have all tried to teach them to cook. They refuse.

So they have been having to cut back on their expenses because I won't buy ready to eat meals, delivery, or food prep.

My ex moved to Wisconsin and my kids know better than to say they want to go live with him. They like Texas winters just fine after experiencing just one up north.

They talked to me the other day about food again. They said I'm being cheap by not providing them with better food options. It was Saturday so I went in the fridge and pulled out some chicken thighs I had defrosting. In an hour I had butter chicken and broccoli with naan bread for our lunch.

I told them that I wasn't going to make any changes to how things ran in my house. I told them all they had to do was go to college and I would cover their meal plan. Nope. They like their lives other than the food situation.

My mom called me today and said I was being mean to her poor babies, that i'm 'starving' them. I offered to send them to live with her. She politely declined and dropped it.

I do this with everyone who contacts me on their behalf. And then I tell them how it went. They don't understand why no one wants them to come live with them. I think I raised two stupid kids. They'll survive. AITA?

Let's find out.

secjeal writes:

NTA. I thought you were depriving small kids of food and was ready to blast you. You seem to be describing two young adults who have graduated from high school and have failed to launch. They seem to be running out the clock on the inheritance. Yeah they can learn to cook or eat ramen then.

gimmeto writes:

Time to enact an ultimatum. Give them x amount of time to reach a goal: get a job, learn to cook basics, and begin acting like an adult, or move out- the locks will be changed and they’ll be on their own.

Sounds cruel, but it’s really not. You sound like a really kind mom, but you’re enabling them to take advantage of you and ALSO, you’re teaching them that it’s okay for them to go forth and take advantage of other kind people like you. Honestly.

It’s never too late to teach a child a lesson. I think you should also not give them money for food- just stock your kitchen with real food, and see if they figure it out. Stop making it comfortable for them when they clearly don’t care about your comfort.

They clearly don’t appreciate all that you’ve done for them.

sarottm writes:

They are WELCOME to move out and get their own apartment. Or stay (rent free) and buy their own food. Or use the supplies he buys and MAKE food. These boys are never leaving home.

Honestly OP, you are being too kind. If they are college ag- they need to be paying rent (this is to HELP them to GTFO- I would not keep most of it- but rather when they leave gift it or some other way help them to launch), going to school, or GTFO. NTA.