Mom notices that son's house isn't 'fit for guests.' Man agrees, doesn't defend GF. AITA?
"AITA? I told my girlfriend my mum is right. My girlfriend says I should have defended her..."
Background: My girlfriend [25f] and me [26m] have been together for over 2 years and we have lived together for 10 months. Last weekend my parents stayed at ours overnight on Saturday due to a wedding they were attending nearby.
The wedding was to be late in the day, the ceremony was to happen at sunset and there was a reception afterwards. I live only a few kilometres from the venue where the wedding was taking place.
My parents asked if they could stay over on Saturday night as they live approximately a 45 minute drive from from me. Rather than drive home late after the wedding they asked me a week beforehand if they could stay at mine and leave Sunday morning. I didn't see an issue with having them for one night.
This is where the problem happened. During the visit my mum commented a few times on the state of things and how it looked liked we had not cleaned. I didn't think it was bad until my mum started pointing things out to my girlfriend but I did agree with my mum. It was not a fit state for guests.
Now this is where the problem happened. I work in Marketing so my job is 9am-5pm on weekdays. My girlfriend works in the fire brigade so she works rotating shifts and not just business hours on weekdays like myself. She worked until the Thursday night before my parents came to stay.
She was off work on the Friday but even though she knew my parents were coming to stay she didn't tidy up or prepare. I was embarrassed once mum started bringing it up. And now my girlfriend is angry with me for not defending her to my mum and has went to stay with her aunt and is not talking to me.
She says that I didn't notice anything wrong until my mum kept pointing it out to her. Then I should have defended her to my mum and also not let her take all the blame. I've pointed out to her that she was off on the Friday before they arrived however she said 1) I work from home whereas she doesn't and 2) they are my parents and I did not ask her first if they could stay.
She was unexpectedly called back to work on Sunday because one of her colleagues was sick and my girlfriend was needed in his place. She has been angry since she left on Sunday and was even short with my mum even though mum was just trying to help. Who is right here? Me or my girlfriend?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
EsmereldaRocks said:
So explain again why you didn't clean the house????
Ok-Ease-8423 said:
Is your girlfriend your girlfriend or your maid? Your a grown adult, clean your house. It’s not her sole responsibility. YTA.
False_Dragonfly_2047 said:
YTA, your guests, you clean.
Electronic_Fox_6383 said:
Of course she's angry, you complete douche canoe! You let her take all of the blame for having a messy house! If you invited people to stay, you should have cleaned beforehand, and when that didn't happen, you should have shouldered all of the blame. Duh. YTA.
Syntaxacute said:
Your mother was not trying to help. Your girlfriend was right to be upset and would be right to dump you. YTA. Grow up, do not be a mama’s boy and clean your damn house.