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Mom presses charges against MIL, tells police, 'She's been poisoning my toddler for over a year.' AITA? 5 INTENSE UPDATES.

Mom presses charges against MIL, tells police, 'She's been poisoning my toddler for over a year.' AITA? 5 INTENSE UPDATES.

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When this mom is absolutely shocked by her MIL's actions, she asks Reddit:

"MIL deliberately poisoned my child. I'm getting back at her. AITA?"

My three year old daughter has several severe food allergies. Peanuts and eggs are the worst. She also can't have dairy or bananas.

MIL is super obsessed with my daughter. This is our only child and MILs only grandchild so I try to be understanding. I don't say anything about it when MIL buys 300 dollar dresses that my daughter will only wear once.

Ive encouraged a relationship between them. I've let MIL have her way on holidays. I've never actually left them alone though. I can't explain exactly but it just didn't feel right.

MIL hasn't pushed for alone time like I've read about here. She offered to babysit but let it go when we declined.

MIL has always doubted my daughters allergies. She's insisted that her princess of a granddaughter could never have something wrong with her. HOWEVER she's never "tested" to see if it's true.... until today.

MIL was over playing dress up with my daughter. I had a horrible headache so I asked MIL to watch my daughter so I could lie down for an hour.

She agreed. 20 minutes later I'm woken up to MIL shrieking that there's something wrong with the baby. I go running to daughters room and she's gasping for breath and her lips are turning blue. I scream at MIL to call 911 and use an Epipen on my daughter.

My daughter was able to take a deep breath and I noticed she smelled like banana. The paramedics show up (we live anout a mile from a fire station) start an IV and give daughter meds so she can breathe.

I tell one of the paramedics that MIL fed my daughter something. He found part of a cookie on the floor. He confronts MIL who confesses she gave my daughter a peanut butter banana cookie but she didn't know it would hurt her.

I text DH (dear husband) and ride to the hospital with daughter. They admitted her for observation and DH met us there. MIL called him wailing about how she was just trying to show us nothing is wrong with daughter.

We're just too paranoid and have such odd ideas about daughters health (we eat healthy and daughter has received all the vaccines she can have. Oh, and we use sunblock. So odd, right?!)

That b&ch admitted to DH that she's been making allergin laced cookies for more than a year. She bakes a huge batch and freezes them. She puts one in her purse everytime she sees daughter just in case she gets a chance to slip it to her.

I can't even wrap my head around this. Daughter is asking when MIL is going to come see her. She wants to show gramma her pretty bracelet (hospital band with stickers on it).

I'm so devastated right now. I never suspected MIL would do something like this.EDIT the hospital has already reported it to police. A detective is going to come tomorrow to take statements and talk about the next step.

Before we give you OP's five updates (which include details about the detective's visit, let's read some of the top responses:

gingeranarchy writes:

I cannot wrap my head around all of these people who go out of their way to test if someone's allergic to something. Like what benefits does the MIL think they get from them lying about their child being allergic to peanuts, milk, or eggs?

'oh no we decided our child can't have basic food ingredients just for kicks! We love making our and our daughters life more difficult everytime she goes out to eat or goes to a friend's or there's snacks at school'.

Love how she was making it about her immediately with the call to the father too. The attempt to bribe with presents is really telling, and good on them for donating them to the children's hospital, they really appreciate it.

This definitely didn't end irl with update 4 unless something happened to mil, so hopefully OOP and her family are safe and didn't have to deal with too much more fallout.

istara writes:

It is insane, but I figure they grew up in a era with far fewer food allergies, when "fussy eaters" were frowned upon. So they don't realise the severity of it. They probably didn't have friends carrying epipens or ever see someone go into anaphylactic shock from a stray nut.

Not sure how old MIL is, but her parents may have lived through the Depression etc, as my parents lived through the end of rationing, and the culture from that around "not rejecting food" passes on to subsequent generations.

Consider that for most people of parenting age, certainly Gen X and older Gen Y, a "PBJ" was the normal lunchtime food for schoolkids in the US. Now they're banned in many/most/all(?) schools. It's a massive shift.

19whoa writes:

This story.... wow. It still floors me. How could she do something like that! Was she willingly ignorant? Purposely trying to kill DD? Or did she genuinely not understand how allergies work?

Whatever the case, she's without excuse. When my mom was pregnant with my youngest sister (I'm the oldest, sis is 4 years younger) she had gestational diabetes & was also allergic to peanut butter.

After my sister was born, she retained the peanut butter allergy until she was about 2-3, then outgrew it. Once, when she was about 2, my 10-11 year old cousin babysat us 3 kids. Brother & I were about 4 & 6, respectively. Cousin tried to give sister a spoonful of peanut butter.

Sister clamped her mouth shut & shook her head, & brother & I were practically screaming @ cousin NOT to give sister peanut butter. She didn't believe us until we were almost in tears!

Even at such a young age, we all knew that it could make sister very sick, so I just.... I just can't understand Death Cookies' logic. Just wtf.

densepermish writes:

What a horror story, I'm amazed the family handled it with such composure. I'm also amazed so many of the comments think the family should have given MIL a second chance.

I wonder if the people making those suggestions truly realise what it is to suffer abuse from someone close to them.

edgeman83 writes:

I personally think the urge for people to give allergic people their allergens comes from people not liking being told no. I remember growing up wanting to do the arbitrary stuff I was told not to do just because I was forbid from doing it.

Compound that with being older and surer on top of a personality type that leads to thinking you are always right(AKA narcissism), "being told no" is a beacon in the night to do the opposite.

mermaidpaint writes:

I'm glad that the husband understood the danger immediately, and didn't try to make any excuses for his mother's actions.

That OOP and husband were united in their efforts to keep the MIL away from the daughter. I'm not saying fathers don't care, it's just that on Reddit, there are a lot of mama's boys who can't stand up to their mommies.

I'm also glad he sought therapy, because imagine your own parent almost killing your child. I found out I had a half-sister in 2009. She informed me that she has allergies, and so did her kids, the kids were also lactose-intolerant. So I have been careful about the food I bring into their house.

Then I found out that my brother-in-law's sister, the kids' aunt, has been trying to feed them dairy their entire lives. "Oh, I didn't realize that had milk in it." "Look, I used butter in this recipe because of (sister)'s allergies. Oh, I forgot the kids can't have butter". I quickly became the preferred aunt to babysit.

And now, OP provides FIVE lengthy updates:

UPDATE 1:

So the detective just left. He's got copies of everything MIL sent DH plus 11 voicemails she left me last night. My phone has been off. Apparently several of them were just her screaming that she's going to kill herself because she can't live without her BAAAABYYYYY.

The detective doesn't know what is going to happen because he's never seen this before. But for right now they're going to take her into custody so due to the threats of suicide. The district attorney will have to look at the case next week.

She also went on a huge shopping spree. DH went home to get a few things for daughter and our front porch was crammed full of new toys. DH loaded them up and after lunch daughter is going to give them away to other kids in the hospital. Daughter is doing great.

We're at an AMAZING children's hospital. They've sent a counselor to work with her a bit and we're going to continue with that while we navigate the next couple weeks. She is having bouts of hysteria due to the steroids but that's expected.

She's getting doses of benadryl for a lingering full body itchy rash so that calms things down quite a bit. DH bought her brand new Frozen pajamas and she's getting all her favorite foods on demand so overall she's pretty happy. She is still asking for MIL.

The counsellor suggested telling daughter "grandma made you very sick on purpose so she's in time out and can't see you. We don't hurt other people, right?" so we've just been repeating that.

DHs family is pretty split. Everyone is kind of in shock but he's too angry to care about anyone who doubts our reaction. There are a few people who are saying she needs help and its our duty to support her through this. HAHA NOPE. Our duty is to our daughter. Full stop.

That woman will never see us again. Daughter and I are going to stay with my parents in Ireland for a while. We're leaving at the end of the month. DH is on board with all this. He's talking about us moving a few states away just to make sure MIL can't get to daughter. He took next week off work to be there for daughter.

UPDATE 2:

This could have been so much worse. Daughter will make a full recovery. She won't remember this. We'll be okay.

In my last post I explained how my MIL intentionally fed my daughter a cookie laced with allergens. You should read that first if you haven't yet. I don't know how to link so hopefully b&chbot does that for me.

So MIL is being charged with endangerment of a child. Our lawyer has told us that she will probably not spend any time in jail. In any case we have a restraining order against her and warned my daughter's preschool.

She will never lay eyes on my child again if I can help it. There will be no second chance for her to murder my child. I don't really feel like justice will be served.

We do intend to persue a civil case against MIL for the hospital bill. My daughter and I spent an amazing month in Ireland with my family. My mum spoiled her so completely that my daughter has only asked for granny (my mother) and has not mentioned nana (Mil) so that's been nice.

My daughter has physically recovered 100%. We are working closely with her therapist to make everything go as smoothly as possible for her. She doesn't seem to be suffering any emotional trauma at this point.

DH is also in therapy to help him deal with the trauma of suddenly losing his mother. He's really having a rough time of it. He is rock steady on the resolve to cut her out entirely though.

UPDATE 3:

Y'all.... going this long without seeing my daughter has apparently made my MIL lose it. So recap, I'm the one who's MIL intentionally gave my daughter allergen laced cookies. My daughter spent a week in the hospital recovering, and we cut MIL out cold. She was charged, and got off with a slap on the wrist.

Yesterday I got a call from daughters preschool. MIL tried to pick her up. Told the staff there was a family emergency. Luckily I got the advice here to tell the preschool the situation so they locked down and stalled until the police got there.

MIL violated her restraining order so there may be some legal action but I haven't been told anything yet.

Daughter is fine, she has no idea anything happened. They locked down her classroom and played a series of very noisy games until it was over. We're moving several states away in June and not telling MIL. She'll figure out we're gone after it's too late to bother us anymore.

UPDATE 4:

So.... my crazy, allergen giving monster of a MIL somehow found out the day we were moving and showed up at our house. She parked behind the moving truck and said she wouldn't budge until we agreed to talk things out.

Police were called and she was arrested for violating a restraining order, which I'm told could result in as much as one year in jail. I believe she has to go to court.

Her car was towed, the movers finished up, and now we're all safely in new state. All FOUR of us, because we recently found out we'll be adding a new little one to our family in January. MIL does not know. The new house is under an LLC, as suggested her. Our lawyer thought that was an excellent course of action.

The new school is on hard lockdown. We're really fortunate that we can manage a nice private school with excellent security in new state. I've had to go back to work part time to cover the cost but the piece of mind is worth it.

My daughter and husband are going to continue therapy. DH is going to go to grief counselling because he feels as though his mother suddenly passed away. He is very adamant that MIL never see our children, but losing his mother has been very difficult for him.

If, heaven forbid, he were to waiver on that my children and I would be on the next flight to Ireland. Oh, and my daughter has started this program at a hospital nearby where she is exposed to her allergans in tiny but incremental doses.

So far it's going well with only a mild reaction one time. Thank you all for your support and advice during this ordeal.

UPDATE 5:

So I'm changing Death Cookies to Cookie Monster because that's a way better name someone suggested.

ANYWAY DH works for a large company. Offices in multiple states, etc. We told the new location not to release ANY info about husband. Don't confirm that he works there. Nothing.

Death Cookies called the old location and played the 'forgetful old lady' and managed to get the number of the new location DH transferred to. She then proceeded to call the new location.

The receptionist didn't get the memo, apparently, and gave her DH's extention. As soon as he picked up he was treated to ear piercing wailing. Not talking or crying. Just full on banchee wails.

He hung up, she called again. And again. She left 12 full voicemails of this before his mailbox was full. Then she switched back to calling the receptionist and wailing at her.

DH was called in to a meeting with HR and had to provide copies of the RO. Legal is sending her a letter. The police in old town have been notified. IT had to set up a whole new extention for DH. I believe they've blocked her number as well but it won't stop her.

But now Death Cookies knows where we moved. At least we already have security cameras, I guess. Fantastic. I feel like she's already ruined the new town.

What do YOU make of OP's harrowing tale? Any advice for her?

Sources: Reddit
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