'AITA because I'm not mad that mom ruined my dad's wedding and told everyone at it that him and his wife are cheaters?'
"AITA because I'm not mad that mom ruined my dad's wedding and told everyone at it that him and his wife are cheaters?"
My parents had a really bad divorce two years ago because dad cheated on mom. Me (16m) and my brother (14m) and sister (13f) found out about it because we got dropped back home early after a night at a relatives house and we could hear mom yelling at dad about it before we went inside.
The fight stopped when they realized we got home but we heard mom say dad cheated. Dad had to sit us down and tell us a few days later that he was dating someone else and she was pregnant. I asked dad if he cheated and he said it was complicated and nothing for us to worry about.
We don't really like dad after doing that and we don't like his wife either. She was a friend of mom's at work and that's why mom is mad at her too. She pretended they were friends while she was screwing dad behind mom's back.
She cheated on her daughter's (7) dad as well and he dropped the two of them because of it. And I know it might sound like dad's her daughter's bio father but he's not. Someone else might be her bio dad but dad can't be, they're different races.
My dad and his wife got married in June. We were forced to be there even though we didn't want to be. It was awkward watching him marry the person he cheated on mom with.
Then mom interrupted the wedding and started yelling at the two of them and calling out them for cheating and she said they were sick for making me and my siblings watch it. She called out dad's wife for pretending to be her friend and then breaking up her marriage and our family and making us watch.
It really pissed my dad and his wife off because her daughter was there and heard everything. When they saw me and my siblings go to mom it bothered them even more. Dad made us sit down and then he kicked mom out and threatened to call the police.
After the reception started dad asked us why we went to mom and we told him we did it because she's our mom. He said she was wrong and ruined his wedding. My sister said she didn't care and he deserved it.
My dad's wife said her daughter didn't deserve to be caught up in mom's temper tantrum (her words) and I shrugged. I don't know what my siblings did though. But dad's wife told us to leave. I called mom and she picked us up and we haven't been to dad's much since.
Dad wanted us to come over more but he wanted us to be mad at mom and we weren't. He tried to explain why she was wrong but I don't think any of us cared. To us it was sucks to be you but we didn't want to be at the wedding anyway.
Dad went all serious talk on us and he was like you can't excuse people doing bad things and ruining things for others and he said she never should have let us see that stuff. I said he never should have cheated and made us experience that either but he did.
I said he never should have made a baby with someone else while married to mom but he did that too. My dad wanted to punish me for that but he didn't want me in the house either if I wished away my half sibling.
It's probably been 9 or 10 weeks since we went to dad's house last and when he comes to see us or texts he expects us to be mad at mom now and we're not. He said we should be mad at both and not just him. AITA?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
NTA. like... at all. You’re 16, not stupid. Your dad cheated, lied, and forced y’all to go to a wedding for the woman he did it with. Your mom lost her marriage, her friend, and then had to watch her kids be dragged into the mess they made. Of course she snapped.
Your dad’s trying to act like she is the problem when he literally blew up your family. And now he wants y’all to be mad at your mom?? For what? Telling the truth?? He’s mad you’re not pretending everything’s fine and clapping for him like nothing happened.
Sucks for him, but actions have consequences even years later. You and your siblings get to feel how you feel. Also?? Your mom didn’t ruin the wedding. He did. She just said out loud what everyone already knew. Stand your ground. You’re not the one who messed up.
Jayizaiyk (OP)
He used the whole there's a time and place argument for why mom was wrong. Maybe he's right and what mom did wasn't great. But why not stand by what you did if you have no regrets or don't think you were wrong? I asked my dad that one of the other times and he said there's just things you don't tell other people.
There’s also a time and place for getting your GF pregnant and it’s when you’re not married to someone else.
”Dad went all serious talk on us and he was like you can't excuse people doing bad things and ruining things for others and he said she never should have let us see that stuff.”
Well, dad…Maybe do what you preach and take accountability first for the things you’ve done…..Seeing as you cheated. The audacity to act like he has the moral high ground after what he did and thinking he can preach it, lol. Definitely NTA and if anything be more mad at dad and the mistress.😂
Jayizaiyk (OP)
I heard him tell mom that cheating isn't the worst thing ever and bad reactions to cheating are worse than the actual cheating. That's some weird mental gymnastics to me. Cheating not being that bad is so dumb. It hurts more than just two people when they have a family like my parents had.
Maybe going to the wedding and screaming it was a bit much from your mom. However, the truth was told. Nothing more, nothing less. So NTA for not being mad at your mom. I wouldn't be in your shoes either.