'My sister and mom want me to watch my sister's newborn baby 3 times a week.' UPDATED 3X

"My sister and mother demand I watch her new baby 3/7 days a week."

My (25F) younger sister (21F) is pregnant. For the last few weeks she has been demanding that my SO (27M) and I babysit her new born every weekend, friday morning-sunday evening, so she and her SO (21M) can have some cool off time from being parents, to not over stress.

Each time, I have laughed at her and shut it down with a quick "nope, I won't be." And she gets mad I'm "not helping her out." Yesterday, she got our mother involved. Mom called me and asked why I was being "so self-centred and so selfish" and she "didn't raise me this way" I told her I was a grown woman, with my own house and life, and that if I wanted to watch kids as a 2nd job, I'd have some.

She sputtered out something about me being a horrible person and hung up on me. My SO and my one aunt 100% is with me, however my mom, dad, and the other 900 family members and friends they got involved are calling me out on Facebook, and blowing up my phone.

EDIT: My mom knows the full story of what my sister is asking, she essentially did the same thing with me, when I was a bit older. She sees no issues with my sister getting this as well. I have never had a good relationship with my family besides my youngest sister (16F), aunt, and grandparents. I talk to mom, other sister, dad maybe twice a month.

What do you think about this situation? This is what top commenters had to say:

Snoo57190 said:

Your mom, dad and the other 900 family members can watch their kid then. Problem solved.

nsnfldal said:

As my mom in law said to me "stick to your guns". To heck with mom and sister and the other 900 family members. You are in the right.

stormbornmother said:

You are 100% justified in saying no. I'm seriously concerned about your sister being a parent if she thinks its normal or ok to drop off a newborn with another family member for 3 days at a time every week. Wtf is wrong with her? I feel really bad for the baby.

rockthrowing said:

If someone needs a break every single weekend from their kids then they shouldn’t have kids.

And Evil_Genius_42 said:

Set up an automatic response along the lines of: "Fantastic! I am SO glad you volunteered, shall I sign you up for the 4th weekend of November?"

UPDATE #1:

Hey, everyone, thank you so much for the support on my last post, thought I'd share an update and answer some questions now that the baby is here. A lot of comments mentioned that our mother and sister probably spun some sort of tail about how I was just refusing to help period, not take over 45% of parenting.. and well no. Those who I spoke to, knew the entire story.

They agreed two 21 year olds need a break from parenting, our mom did it with me.. why shouldn't sister get the same courtesy.

Whenever family/friends message me about babysitting, or give me shit about it my favourite response has been, "you're right, I am selfish/irresponsible/whatever, and probably not fit to take the baby this weekend, but I can be sure to let sister know you've volunteered your time this week to help her out.

Funny enough, everyone seems to have some generic excuse as to why they can't or won't. "I worked all week, it's my wind down time." "Not my child, not my responsibility."(but somehow it's mine?)

And my all time favourite response "It is YOUR responsibility as the oldest to ensure your siblings don't make mistakes, and if they do you take responsibility and don't let them ruin their lives over it, they're still kids who need to have fun. You had your turn."... People of AITA & EntitledParents.. please take a moment and reread that last response. What would your reaction or response be?

Baby has been here just under 2 weeks now and: My sister, her SO, and our mother have left multiple messages and voicemails about when they will drop baby off, their expectations for when I have baby, routines, etc. Besides a quick "Not watching your baby this weekend." I have not answered or responded about it.

My SO and I took some advice and invested in a doorbell camera and a few others around the house, and as most of you called it.. my mother and sister attempted to drop baby off at my doorstep, 6 days after it was born.. knocked and tried to run. I spoke through the doorbell and told them they have exactly 2 minutes to pick baby back up, or I was calling CPS for abandonment.

My youngest sister (16F) called me about an hour afterwards explaining our mother had attempted to leave the baby with her as well, but it only earned mom a dirty look, while youngest sister simply stepped over the carrier and walked out of the house. She has been staying with us since.

SO and I have spoken to youngest sister, to see how she would feel, and we have a meeting with a lawyer to see if we have any ground to stand on for her to come and live with us permanently, as our parents are threatening to call the police on my SO and I for kidnapping/holding youngest sister as a hostage.

Oh, before I forget this level of beautiful petty.. our aunt (the only one who has supported us) surprised my youngest sister, SO and I, and took us out to her cabin for the weekend.. where youngest sister posted pictures, and tagged our mother, sister, and her SO.. "Man, such an AMAZING weekend, sure wish you guys were free to join, 😏😁."

Edit: a few commenters mentioned wanting to know more about the door bell reaction so: Neither of them knew about the door bell, it was a mix of shocked Pikachu and some kinda ragey racoon faces that they didn't just get away with it. My mother started to argue, but I cut her off by starting to count down. My other sister quickly picked up the baby and they both left without another word.

UPDATE #2 (a month later):

My SO, youngest sister and I met with a lawyer just before the weekend and.... My parents have no ground to stand on, Sister is in the middle of enrolling in a high school in my city to start for September!

Our mother left a voicemail and a text message to both of us. Mine saying "I hope you're happy. You've destroyed (21F/21M) lives by not taking the baby, and you've gone ahead and brainwashed (16F) into hating us." She then proceeded to let me know that I've been completely disowned and I'm not welcome to ever contact them again, and that I wouldn't be seeing a dime from them.

I'm not sure where she could have gotten that idea.. considering I've been living out of her house and self supporting since I was 16. Sister's message said essentially the same thing. She's been disowned and is no longer welcome to go to them for help.

She's always kind of had the same no bullshit attitude as me, but I think this is the first time I've genuinely seen her let go and relax in a long time. We had a long conversation about what our mother messaged us, and in the beginning sister was kind of upset, but after reassuring her she will ALWAYS have SO and I, and aunt. She looks free.

I'm excited to watch her grow, and get to support her on all the ways she wouldn't have gotten from our parents. As for baby, CPS, and the other sister.. I've been in contact with baby daddy's parents, recently, (sister, baby, baby daddy are living in their basement)

Laid out everything that happened, showed them messages, door bell video etc, they were shocked, and last I heard were making plans to try and adopt baby and finding their legal footing as well, they've asked if they can come to us for help as we have more proof to help them, so absolutely will be providing anything they could need. So, thank you for all the advice and support.

Comment by OP:

We are not in the States. We are in Canada, so things are a bit different just on that. We did talk to a lawyer, my sister is 16, working full time already. She doesn't have to live at home, and our parents can't force her. They can absolutely try and fight and say I am unfit to care for and try to pull stuff like that.

They won't find anything against me in that aspect, meaning they have no leg to stand on to just force her to move back in. I don't have any intention of adopting my sister, and as of right now we haven't talked about emancipation, giving up parental rights, etc. She's just moved in. She has all of her records, documents, ID's.

FINAL UPDATE (almost a year later):

So, thank you everyone for the continued support dealing with my oh so amazing family. Starting with the baby and grandparents going for adoption.. that didn't happen. They did sit them down and gave them a hell of a talking to. My 21F sister even apologized for trying to ding dong ditch the baby.

However. She does still pawn the potato off pretty often between our mom, daddies parents, our grandparents. I am still fairly low contact. I have even babysat the little potato and oh my God is that potato easy. 0 crying, 100% giggles and smiles and grunts until I get things right.

Mom..oh boy. She's a post all on her own. She has gone bat shit up the wall over the last few months towards me. She hates me, wishes she aborted me. How I'm nothing but a fuck up, etc. She has shown up on my front door and has tried camping out just to get a shot at being in my face or trying to claw youngest sister back down.

We have been in contact with the police, as well as some extra security around the house we could manage. She caught me one day a few weeks ago after a pretty rough day and her and I had it out on the front porch. Have not seen or heard from her personally since.

Youngest sister is living her best life right now, I think. She's head over heels for a very nice young man, graduating this year. We applied to universities together. She did decide to speak to a therapist about things just to kind of ground herself and she's doing great. All in all, pretty successful so far.