I'm a single mother, and I live with my two kids, Adam (M24) and Zoe (F15). Adam pays me rent but significantly less than he would be paying if he went to live elsewhere, even with roommates. Rent is costly in our area, and he's living with me while working full-time to save up for a deposit on a house.
Around a month ago, Adam asked if his girlfriend of 10 months, Millie (F23), could stay in his room as she didn't get along with her parents and was struggling to find somewhere to live. I agreed because they're both adults, and I've met Millie quite a few times, and I thought she was a nice girl.
At first, it was going fine, but last week something happened. I came home from work a few hours early and walked in on Millie, yelling in Zoe's face and swearing at her. Millie went silent when she noticed me, and I asked what was going on.
Millie ran off into her and Adam's room, and Zoe was crying. I asked Zoe what happened, and she said she accidentally spilled Pepsi on Millie's jeans and tried to apologize, but Millie blew up at her.
I knocked on the door and told Millie we needed to talk. I asked her for her side of the story; Millie accused Zoe of spilling her drink on purpose and pretending it was an accident and said they were expensive jeans. I told Millie that I would get Zoe to wash her jeans for her. Millie had a blank look.
I asked Millie what she thinks could help make things right, to which she said, 'I dunno.' I told her that I understood she was annoyed, but she doesn't get to treat my minor daughter like that and that if she does it again, she'll be out; if she has another problem involving Zoe that isn't an emergency, she should contact me before taking it into her own hands.
Zoe washed her jeans and returned them to her clean and dry the next day. I left it at that. Millie told Adam what happened, and they both accused me of being unfair and said my comment about Millie being out was abusive. I think what I did was perfectly fair.
I told my older sister what happened and asked what she thought, and she said I was being too harsh on Adam and Millie and said I needed to chill.
Ok_Bookkeeper_3481 says:
So now you know why Millie doesn’t “get along” with her parents… NTA (Not the A**hole).
Kinlance says:
NTA
This sounded like the perfect response, clear, firm, not angry, just stating facts—a very reasonable reaction to her actions.
How on earth is that abusive? It didn't come from nowhere. There was a cause, her abuse of your daughter.
DivinePeanutButter says:
NTA.
You were not too hard on Millie. She was not punished at all. I would likely have kicked her out based on this incident alone.
You were more than fair. If those two grown adults cannot handle living with a child without yelling obscenities in her face, then they can find their place.
Millie knew she was wrong: she ran away when she saw you coming.