Hello friends. My first time posting and need a little help. AITA for not giving my mom money after she told me that my siblings are more important than me? I (28) F has 4 kids 6,4,2 and 1 my mom (53 F) has 5 kids in total (34,33,30,28,23) her and I don't get along well due to me being "the mistaken child" I asked her a few times to help me babysit my kids so I can go to work or school.
She told tell me no because now that I'm a mom "moms stays home and dad works" or she would say yeah bjt to give her $2000 for all 4 of my kids while the rest of her grandkids are free of charged. I told her I shouldn't have to pay her while everyone else is not paying her.
She said because I'm the mistaken one if I wanted help from her I would have to pay her for daycare I have to pay her for food I have to pay her $1000 every MONTH for her to take care of me even though she didn't wanted me. I got my own place, i work at small businesses where I get paid $17.50 an hour. I don't have much money for her and my kids dad is currently incarcerated.
She wanted to see my kids one time and she told me in order for her to see my kids I need to pay her $300 for her to drive to my house because my house is "too far" (guys I live 4 blocks away from her) I told her no and she got mad.
She ended up babysitting my nieces and nephew for free I ended up having to get a daycare for my kids just so I can go to school or work. My mom randomly called me asking if I can give her $6000 when taxes comed because she pretty much helped me my whole life and I should at least give her some money.
I told her no as I'm already struggling financially I also told her I'm not getting $6000 and I'm not even sure how much I'm getting she ended up calling me a worthless person who has no heart for helping her mother.
I told her if she wanted to get money badly then get a dam job I'm not an atm I also told her I'm not responsible for her and I'm only responsible for my kids and I. She called me a b-word and saying I'm the AH for not giving me money. I know I'm not the AH because I'm financially struggling and living paycheck to paycheck but Reddit am I the AH?
Update: There's a few things that I forgot to put in regarding the reason why she calls me the mistaken child is because at the time that my mom was pregnant with me my dad had constantly cheated on her.
So she pretty much, throughout the pregnancy, was by herself even at the time of birth she was by herself without my dad being there. My younger sibling, he's the special child because the day that he was born was the same day that they had gotten married.
Another thing to me and my siblings do not get along because they always constantly talk down about not giving my mom any money while They gave our mom $2000 a week.
Also, they all have houses while I'm the only one who lives in an apartment and works for $17.50. I'm currently in school trying to become a labor delivery nurse while the rest of my siblings have career have their own houses And they all want me to be just like them.
Esh, mom is a jerk for name calling but you also harp on lack education and low income yet had 4 kids with someone currently in prison. Mom doesn’t owe free babysitting even if she provides it to others.
Please start referring to her as your “mistaken mom”.
Please, for your own sanity, BLOCK HER! Parents don't treat their children that way! She will eventually hurt your children as bad as she is hurting you. Stay safe, get some peace.
NTA. Your mom seems to have pretty much no love for you and uses every opportunity to demand money of you. It's rich that she calls you the mistaken child.... like that's somehow your fault rather than hers/your father's.
Honestly it's time to cut ties and that does include not giving her ANY money, and also not asking anything of her or expecting her to be in your or your kids' lives. I just don't see how she will be a healthy presence in your life, so all you're doing is inviting grief for yourself. ON TOP OF ALL THAT - you don't have the $6k to give. You can't squeeze blood from a stone.
"mistaken child" is crazy... There isn't much context for why she calls you that but if that's honestly what she outright calls you.. your mom is TA for that alone.
Frosty-Bread4465 (OP)
Okay guys I just came to work and my manager had told me my mom and my brother has been calling my job at least 5 times asking to speak to me. I haven’t talked to her since Sunday night when arguments started. I’m trying to go LC but I think it’s time to go NC. I don’t owe her anything my money is mine and I’m just trying to support myself and my family. I’ll keep you guys posted!