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Mother-of-the-bride excluded from 'ridiculous' wedding, 'her fiancé doesn't like us.'

Mother-of-the-bride excluded from 'ridiculous' wedding, 'her fiancé doesn't like us.'


What happens when you're not invited to your daughter's wedding, but still expected to walk her down the aisle?

So, when a frustrated mother-of-the-bride decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As%hole' about her daughter's rude wedding day requests, people were there to help deem a verdict.

AITA for telling my daughter her wedding rule is ridiculous?

My daughter (25F) is getting married to her fiance soon. However none of us, her family is invited to the wedding. It’s going to be a large wedding, so I’m surprised we were not invited.

I wasn’t surprised when she didn’t invite her siblings, because their relationship is practically non-existent, however she didn’t invite either me or my husband.

Her rule is that she just wants my husband, her father, to walk her down the aisle, and then he leaves. When we asked why, it's because her fiance doesn’t like us, and she doesn’t want to make him uncomfortable.

She made it clear she wants us there, not her fiance. I genuinely do not know why her fiance does not like us.

I’d be willing to figure out why, if he would like to talk. My daughter has been with him for 4 years, and yet we only seen him a handful of times.

When we do see him, he doesn’t talk to us. We initiate conversations but he either does not respond, or changes his answer every visit. When we ask him how him and my daughter met, the answer is different, ask him about himself and the answer always changes.

It's not like he changed his thoughts on something after we saw him, because he denies answering something different. When we asked our daughter about this, she just said it's how we acts around people he doesn’t know.

When my daughter told me the rule of us not getting invited, and her father could only walk her down, I told her it was ridiculous, and not fair to either me or her father.

I also asked her about the future, how is he going act when they have kids. My husband and told me it wasn't necessary to say, and maybe it wasn’t. So AITA?

Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say about this one:

KronkLaSworda said:

NTA Honestly, your husband should not walk her down the aisle if he isn't invited to stay. This is very controlling behavior. Tell your daughter you'll be there for her if he becomes abusive.

Don't cut that help line off, but you'll have to pull back emotionally. She's made her choice and you aren't going to talk her out of this, sadly.

If you can, sit her down and explain the situation. Warn her. She's marrying a very controlling man. Probably emotionally or mentally abusive. If not now, it will start after the wedding. I feel very sorry for her future.

DoIwantToKnow6417 said:

Her father should definitely NOT walk her down the aisle and leave. Just stay away but let her know you'll always love her, you'll always be there for her and she'll always be welcome. NTA Your future son in law is. I wish you and your husband courage. It must be incredibly difficult seeing your daughter in this situation.

Hot_Aside_4637 said:

I'm getting 'unreliable narrator' vibes. Not discounting controlling fiancé vibes either.

badgeringsoark said:

Not enough info. Why doesn't the fiance like you guys? for him not to want his soon to be in laws at the wedding, there had to have been something to take place or for their to be an actual reason as to why.

Do you and your husband have a completely different world view than him? Was there a financial aspect involved as to who would pay for the wedding? There's simply not enough info to say. Gotta update with some context/background info.

jrm1102 said:

NTA - admittedly this seems off, but having your husband walk her down the aisle and then leave is an AH thing to request.

IFeel_Attacked said:

Why are you asking him the same questions over and over to be able to notice he’s giving different answers? Your daughter and her fiancé are either major AHs or there is something missing from the story.

So, there you have it...

While the opinions were fairly divided here, most people agreed that walking the bride down the aisle and then immediately leaving is a disrespectful and 'ridiculous' request. Clearly there's a lot more to the story that was left out, but based on the details given, this mother-of-the-bride wasn't wrong. Good luck to everyone involved here, this wedding is going to be an awkward one.

Sources: Reddit
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