Mother-of-the-groom 'makes the wedding all about her,' refuses to take off work for dress shopping. AITA?
"AITA for apparently making the wedding all about me by being difficult and not taking off work to go dress shopping?"
My son told me to come here. I am on my phone. Background. I have to travel for my job, Monday through Friday. I have been getting on a plane every Monday and getting back on Friday due to a project needing to be supervised. My future DIL works four days a week (Wednesday to Saturday), 10 hour shifts.
She wants to met up to get a dress for the wedding. She wants to be there when I get a dress. Originally I was just going to wear the same dress I wear for all wedding ( long blue dress) but she wanted me to wear something else since it will match her bridesmaids.
So looking at our schedule Sunday would be the best day to do this. We are both off. She told me no since that is her rest day. She asked for Monday. I told her I can’t and have to work.
Then I suggested Friday or Saturday after work, those got shut down. She wants me to take off work. I then suggested she send me examples of what she wants and I’ll shop by myself and buy something like the examples. Also shut down.
After much back and forth I, will just wear the blue dress. This started an argument and she called me a jerk. My son is mad that I am making the wedding about me and not taking off work. I don’t think I am being unreasonable but he told me to post here.
UPDATE:
My son has this link. Anyways he told me I can wear the blue dress and that it won’t be an issue. No response from future DIL.
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Living-Assumption272 said:
NTA. You’ve offered reasonable suggestions to make this work, and she’s shot down each of them. That’s not your fault. Why is she so invested in being there with you? Surely you can pick out a dress in a fit and style that would be appropriate and suitable.
PuzzleheadedRoyal559 said:
NTA - this didn’t quite work as you hoped, did it, Sonny?
Psychological-Ad7653 said:
NTA. If they must control everything about their "special" day how about they pay you for what seems would amount to a week off of work? Are they even paying for this "special day" dress?
RoyallyOakie said:
NTA...You have offered several options that could make this work, but the bride will only accept you taking time off work. She's the one being unreasonable. Simply say that you will not be taking time off work and leave it at that.
They can offer another solution if they don't like any of yours. With all of the horrible tales of parents and weddings on here, your son should be happy at how reasonable you are.
Fit_Measurement_1871 said:
NTA! Good thing your son sent you here to sort it! Her "rest day" is not more important than your work days. You've been more than accommodating!
True-End6765 said:
NTA. You’re not making the wedding all about you. You’re just not making the wedding the most important thing in life. I find it deranged your son and future DIL want you to take PTO for a shopping trip. Are they planning on paying you your lost wages?
cassowary32 said:
NTA. Your DIL is being controlling trying to be physically there to choose a dress for you and demanding that you take off work for this ridiculous request. Her "rest day"? GTFOH.