'AITA for asking to move into the camper after my dad said I was an accident and unwanted?'
"AITA for asking to move into the camper after my dad said I was an accident and unwanted?"
This will be long, I'm sorry. I’m a 15-year-old girl, and I’ve never really been a problem child, or at least that's what my mom says. The background is that I was the result of my parents' actions during high school—my mom was still in high school, while my dad was living with his parents and wasn't in school. My dad is 42, and my mom is 31.
This happened a week ago. My dad and his friends were drunk in the living room when my mom asked me to get her a bottle of water. I didn't know my dad was downstairs, so I went down to grab it.
As I was heading back upstairs, my dad called me into the room. He told me that he wasn't a proud father because I was an accident. He said he had begged my mom to get an abortion, but she refused.
He went on to say that his other kids (aged 23 and 22, who aren't my mom's biological children) were planned, unlike me. I was devastated and left the room while he kept calling me back. I cried on the hallway floor because it felt like my whole life had been a lie about being his "princess."
My mom came to check on me and asked what was wrong. After I told her, I asked her if she wanted me. She replied, “When I found out? No. During my first trimester? No. At the ultrasound appointment? No. During labor? No. But once I heard that baby cry, I fell in love with you.” That made me feel a little bit better.
This happened two days ago. Knowing what my dad had said, I couldn't let it go. I asked him if he wanted me as his child (knowing he was drunk when he said it). I wanted confirmation that, while I wasn't wanted when I was in my mom’s womb, I was wanted now.
My dad told me I was old enough to know the truth. He said he only stayed because his parents forced him to and that he didn’t want me as a young father—or now that he’s an adult.
He complained that because I’m a girl, I require more attention and that I talk about wanting to attend colleges in the future. He said, “This is why I didn’t want a daughter. So much pampering.”
I didn’t know whether to scream, cry, or just sit there. My mom came in and asked why it was so quiet. My dad told her the truth about what I had asked him, and she defended me, saying that I was a very loved child.
He asked her if she knew he didn’t want a daughter when she decided to have me. My mom called him stupid for thinking she could control the sex of the baby. She said I was a gift from God and that I was the light of her life. They ended up getting into a heated argument about how my mom views me as a blessing.
At the end of the day, my mom advised me to forget about my dad’s comments. She assured me that she would always love me, no matter what anyone said. Honestly, even with her support, I still felt like an unwanted child in the house.
This happened today. I asked my mom if I could live in the camper in the garage. I pointed out that we barely use it, and it's clean and functional. She expressed concern, saying she didn't want her child to feel alone and sad just because of my dad.
I begged her for hours, and she finally said she would help me prepare it and make it more suitable for a girl. When my dad found out, he yelled at my mom for hours about how foolish he would look having his child living in a camper.
My older siblings think I’m being foolish for trying to make this work and for upsetting my dad. Being the child/teenager in this case I often feel like I’m the one in the wrong. So, AITA?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP’s post:
Your dad at 27 "accidentally" got your mom pregnant. He knew damn well what he was doing but can't handle the consequences? Absolutely NTA. Your mom was a vulnerable and did her best and made you feel like a loved child. Your dad is only regretting you being a constant reminder of his f up. I'm sorry that you find the best solution in the case to be moving into a camper OP. Please take care <3
Definitely NTA. I'm sorry that you are experiencing this. Your dad is a MASSIVE AH‼️‼️ Most parents never tell their kids that they aren't wanted, even if it's true. Understand that when people are drunk what's truly on, their heart will come out of their mouth. If living in the camper is more comfortable for you, don't be guilted into changing your mind.
Ignore the flying family monkeys ? they aren't experiencing the pain and hurt that you are. Don't be guilted or bullied into having a relationship with your sperm donor because basically that's what he is. When you leave, stay in contact with your mom, but go NC with your dad. Take care. BIG HUGS‼️?? UPDATEME!
Honestly, if your dad thinks living in a camper is embarrassing, wait until he finds out that you can actually get Wi-Fi out there! Just think of it as your own little adventure like camping, but with fewer mosquitoes and more snacks.
NTA. Your dad is a gigantic POS AH though. And he’s a liar. There’s no way in hell that he PLANNED to have your half brothers when he was 19 then 20. And that crap about his parents forcing him to stay with your mom? Why don’t you ask them? Tell them what he’s said while you are at it.
And tell your sperm donor that the embarrassment of you living in the trailer is nothing compared to the embarrassment he SHOULD feel for what he’s said and done. Your mother is a POS too. HE should be the one living in a trailer. Why is she staying with the lowest man on the planet?
OP's older siblings have no say in this situation. They were wanted males. OP's father deserves to live in shame with his attitude especially given the age difference between mom and him. NAT however you are surrounded by chauvinistic men.