'AITA for deciding to move into a single apartment instead of waiting for my roommate’s timeline?'
"AITA for deciding to move into a single apartment instead of waiting for my roommate’s preferred timeline?"
My roommate and I live downtown in a city where parking is expensive and extremely hard to find. She told me she wants to move out because she wants a parking spot. We went over what she wants in a new place: cat-friendly, spacious 2-bedroom, downtown, near a metro, with parking, and all for less than ~$900 each.
I told her that wasn’t realistic. I’ve been searching for months and haven’t found anything close. She wants to move out in the summer, but in our city everyone moves in the summer. Prices spike and apartments get taken immediately. I’ve warned her about this multiple times.
Meanwhile, I found a listing in our current building for a single unit. I actually like our location, so I asked the landlord about it. They told me they can’t guarantee any units will open up in the summer because no one has given notice. The listing fits all my needs and is a good price, so I told my roommate I want to apply now and move in a little over a month so I don’t lose it.
She’s upset because she wanted us to wait until summer to move together, but I feel like waiting would leave me stuck without a good place. Also, she hasn’t been a great roommate lately: she constantly leaves the kitchen messy, lets dishes pile up for days, barely scoops her cat’s litter so the apartment smells, and sometimes leaves her cat’s hairballs around.
I’ve even avoided having people over because of it. The last straw was birthdays, she asked me to buy her something specific, I did, and then for my birthday she didn’t show up or get me anything.
At that point, I stopped viewing her as a friend.
So now I’m prioritizing a place that works for me, instead of inconveniencing myself for her. (I did not have an issue with our current apartment in the first place). AITA for choosing to move out earlier instead of waiting for her?
TL;DR: Roommate wants a cheap 2-bedroom downtown with parking (basically impossible), insists on waiting until summer (the worst time to move here), and has been a messy and inconsiderate roommate. I found a single unit in our current building that fits my needs, so I’m applying now instead of waiting. Is that wrong?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Jun1p3rsm0m wrote:
I lived with a couple college friends for a few years. We all had full time jobs. It wasn’t ideal, but it worked, until one roomie got a puppy that barked incessantly when she was gone, and chewed everything, including part of the carpeting. She was a nurse who who worked all kinds of shifts and left the dog alone.
I found an affordable one-bedroom apartment within walking distance of work. It was perfect for me and I snapped it up. Yeah, it was a difficult conversation at first with the roomies, but they understood. Best thing I ever did. NTA. Go for it. You won’t regret it.
OP responded:
I’m glad you took it and it’s nice they understood! I’m hoping in my case they will come around and see that I’m not doing this to screw them over.
Kitchen-Fee-51114 wrote:
If you signed a lease you have to pay until it ends, are you going to end up paying double rent? If you don’t have a lease you probably have to give her 30 days notice that you are leaving. At that point she’s got the choice of moving or finding another roommate…not your problem what she wants.
OP responded:
I’ve signed the lease but will be finding a replacement to sublet. I’ve spoken with the landlord and it’s a simple process as my roommate and I are both on the lease!
Cmonepeople wrote:
NTA - Would the same roommate prioritize your needs above theirs? So why are you putting their wants above your need for housing? This is an important part of growing and learning how to exist in this world. You cannot put others' wants above your needs. Take the apartment!
OP responded:
Based off her behaviours in the past- I know they wouldn’t prioritize my needs. This is the first time I’m actually thinking of myself first- which has made her upset.
I’ll be taking the apartment, thank you!
SnoopitySnoop8642 wrote:
Info: are you planning to keep paying rent on the apartment you share with her?
OP responded:
I’m going to pay rent until I find someone to sublet my apartment room!
Professional_Ear6020 wrote:
I hope she doesn’t sabotage your sublet. Like leaving dirty dishes out, not scooping the litter, etc. Do a walk thru at least a couple hours before you show the place. Be ready to do some cleaning and spraying air cleaner.
Also don’t forget to take pictures of the damage the cat has done and the whole apartment on your move out day. You don’t want to lose your security deposit because of her cat. You also have to know it may be harder to find someone to take your place because of the cat. Smell, hair, lack of boundaries. I have cats.
OP responded:
Luckily I’m used to cleaning up the place, so it won’t be out of the ordinary for me 😅
Savingsrhubarb8746 wrote:
NTA, so long as you're giving her the proper amount of notice (and I notice you said in the comments that you'll pay your share of the rent in the first apartment until you find someone to sub-let your room). Rentals, especially with roommates, sometimes don't work out, and it's perfectly acceptable to give proper notice and move on. It's just a business arrangement; she's not your spouse or child or mother.