'AITA for moving across the country from my husband even though I'm pregnant?'

"AITA for moving back home after my husband left me even though I’m pregnant?"

I’ve been getting cruel messages from my ex, his family, and our friends for the past few days. My soon to be ex husband Levi 33m and I 28f have been together for a decade, married for 5 years. I’m currently pregnant with our first baby and due next month.

After I graduated I moved back to his hometown (a major city on the west coast) with him. I’m from a bigger city in the Midwest, but loved living out there. I thought we were happy. We planned our baby and were so excited. But a few weeks ago he told me he was going to file for divorce.

He said he didn’t want to be tied down anymore, he was still young and needed to live his life etc. he said there was nobody else but I know since then he’s been seeing someone. He wanted me to move out but this is my house too, I put down the down payment even. So he’s been staying with his friend Louis.

I can’t afford to live here on my own while maintaining my lifestyle. Sure i COULD make it work, but it wouldn’t be the kind of lifestyle I’d want to live. Especially with a baby. I make really good money even but it’s so expensive. I have friends for sure but not the support system he does. No family here. So I’ve decided to move back home, and luckily my company has a location in my hometown so I was able to keep my job.

My parents have been so supportive. They’re divorced and hate one another but are now combined in their hatred of Levi which is interesting to see. They’ve secured me a nice rental home in my city and refuse to let me pay them back, saying I need to save for buy my next house.

They’re paying for my divorce lawyer and my copays at my new doctor here. They’re paying said I’m doing the right thing for my baby and are happy to help, my mom is about to retire and even wants to watch my baby while I work after my maternity leave. So it’s been an ideal situation for me!

Levi is furious. He’s claiming that I moved to get back at him and am going to try to keep him out of our baby’s life. I explained very clearly that I couldn’t afford to be a single mom in San Diego but he doesn’t believe me. He’s told everyone i moved back to get the upper hand on custody. That’s not why I moved but it’s definitely a plus. His job doesn’t have any locations here and they won’t keep him if he moves.

He could get another job here of course, but he says that’s too much to ask of him. I told him I’d be going for child support once the baby is born and he told me I needed to make up my mind: could he be a dad or no. I told him he was going to be a dad regardless and if he doesn’t want to move here then he would be a dad by paying child support.

I don’t think I’m the a-hole, I think I’m doing what I have to do. But idk what I’m supposed to say to all these people texting and calling me and telling me I’m keeping Levi’s baby from him.

Here's what people had to say to OP:

Bearliz said:

NTA. More than likely, the ones bugging you don't know the truth of the situation.

OP responded:

I mean they know he is divorcing me, but they think I’m being petty and I should just scale back my lifestyle so I can afford to stay in California. Why should I scale back my hobbies, travel, and savings just to convenience him?

FMobile-5851 said:

First off congratulations on your baby. Second dont respond to those stupid text you can block those numbers. If he sends any hateful texts especially now with the baby you can save those and use it in court if he ever tries to go after you. What you need is a peaceful time before delivery and stress-free postpartum lifestyle. And go for child support. He's the one who wanted to leave for a free lifestyle, now he's got it.

OP responded:

Oh I’m going for full child support done worry lol. It would be one thing if this was a one night stand thing but we planned our baby and he’s not getting out of supporting it

Material_Device2113 said:

You screwed up his plans. He wanted to be with his girlfriend and have you nearby doing all the work raising the baby so he could visit only when he feels like it. You take care of you. His anger over not getting everything he wants after abandoning you is his problem to deal with.

OP responded:

Yeah that’s what I’m thinking. I just feel so lied to

shyfidelity said:

"But idk what I’m supposed to say to all these people texting and calling me and telling me I’m keeping Levi’s baby from him." Get a new phone number and enjoy the Midwest.

BeachinLife1 said:

NTA, he created this situation, and now he can walk the path he's chosen. He put you in a situation where you would not have been able to make it, and now you have a support system. He can go kick rocks. How much of a father he is depends on him, and how often he will visit his child. But tell him you understand if "he's young and needs to live his life."

As for anyone sending you negative messages, just block them. It's that simple. You don't have to explain yourself to anyone, you don't have to discuss anything with them. Just block them and be done.

OP responded:

I have blocked some of them, but it doesn’t mean that I’ve forgotten what they said and was just wondering if they were right.