'AITA for moving out of my dad’s house because of his new wife's shady demands?'

"AITA for leaving my father’s house because of the unfair financial responsibility with his 2nd family?"

Hi. I’m 28F and I used to live in my dad’s basement back when I was 21. My dad’s house remarried and is living with his 2nd family. I had to live with my dad back when I was 21 because I didn’t have a choice.

I just came to America and was new. At first we were living in an apartment but later on moved to a house he somewhat inherited from his caregiving career since the previous owner did not have any child or relatives they were close with.

When we first moved the house consisted of 3 rooms on the main floor and 2 rooms in the basement. My dad and stepmom had the masters bedroom, my stepsister and step brother had the other 2. One of the stepbrother(the eldest of them) lived separately before we moved into the house. My step uncle had the room beside me in the basement.

After we moved my stepmom immediately told everyone in regard to the “bills” and how we were gonna split everything. We all pay for the water, electricity, wifi, landscaping and rent. Which was reasonable and fine with me.

During those time I was taking care and paid for my little sisters case to get her here in the US. Fast forward, she got approved. Mind I tell you that we were able to get to US because stepmom is a citizen and my dad is not. We are all from the same country and race but stepmom did those marriage things just to get a citizen while she was with my dad.

Now here is when things get sketchy. So biological sis finally got here and stepmom was trying to charge my little sister rent too when we are sharing a small room. My real uncles and aunts sarcastically asked my stepmom “Are you going to charge her little sister too?” I think she got insulted and pretty much did not let my sister pay for rent. So that was good.

At some point stepsister moved out but failed and moved back in. Our rent raised when she moved out and never went back down when she came back. And later on eldest stepbrother also failed living alone and moved in the house. When stepsister moved out stepmom made stepsisters old room into stepmoms office.

So when stepsister came back she got demoted to the basement and they made a 3rd room (mind you she has a kid with her). Now since I was already sharing my room with my sister the eldest stepbrother had to share with step uncle in the basement.

Me and my sister pays bills on time gets reminders by stepmom all the times days before dues of our “bills” but never does it to her real kids. Mind you these kids are older than me. I started to see the unfairness and started to question myself “Is everyone actually paying rent or is it just us?”

I would literally hear them talking they have not paid rents for months and they laugh like it’s funny. One time things really got to me and I asked my dad “Where does all of the rent payments go?” He says “It goes to the house for improvement and stuff” but I never once saw them improving anything.

So me and my sister just focuses on ourselves. Made enough money for a downpayment and advance deposit. Both found some units to move into and two years ago, both of us officially moved out of dad’s house.

We did not inform them until the day we moved out. We packed out stuff and started moving things when all of them were at work. We stopped by one last time just in time my dad got home and me and I said our goodbye to him.

We did not say goodbye to anybody else that was there. At the time stepmom was not home yet. When stepsister heard everything she was rushing to find her mom and drove off. But my sister and I did not care anymore at that point and just left.

My real uncles and aunts were happy for us and told us that the day after we moved out the stepmom posted something about us being ungrateful kids. I am now 28 and the same year after I left I found the love of my life. After a year I moved in with him had our child and had never been so happy. I am glad I left that toxic place. But AITAO for leaving my dad’s place because of the unfair financial responsibilities?

This is what people had to say to OP:

_Allyka_ said:

NTA. Your dad is for not standing up for you and your sister at all.

I will say that it makes no sense that he inherited a house somehow, and still paid rent? That makes no sense.

OP responded:

My dad inherited the house from someone he used to take care of back when he was a caregiver. The previous owner gave him money taxes with the house. So basically everything was settled for dad and his family. But instead of keeping that money dad and 2nd family used it on their own personal things. I later found out that dad and stepmom did not contribute to monthly rents.

Oldest stepbrother and stepsister were always months behind or did not pay rent or bills. So it was basically only me, my step uncle and other stepbrother paying. As I have asked my dad “where does the rent money go?”

He only says it for the house but never seen any improvement in the house. And mind you that if they actually try to do something they still ask everyone to chip in. Like make that make sense? 😅

ArgumentJaded9786 said:

nope ntah in my opinion that was financial mistreatment. She made you and ur sister pay for bills and rent but didnt charge her own kids. your father should of stepped in and said something to her.

OP responded:

I have always noticed that dad was never in control. It was always stepmoms way or no way at all. And I suppose you are right dad should have done something but unfortunately did not. It was sad to witness.

I guess dad chose that kind of life and stuck with it for life but I did not want to be in the same boat as dad that is why me and sister moved out for good. And I’m proud that we are able to live independently.

And Connect-Advantage-40 said:

NTAH. You're not the AH for leaving your father's house because of unfair financial responsibilities. If anything, you stayed longer than most people would have. You and your sister paid expenses at your father's house when it appeared the only other one doing so was your uncle.

Your stepmother should have made her own chicken pay their fair share. The only person who was treated unfair lly was your sister who was left to pay the expense by herself.