'AITA for moving out and leaving my pregnant sister without a support system?' UPDATED

"AITA for telling my pregnant sister I don’t want to live with her?"

My sister (29) recently found out she was 12 weeks pregnant from a one night stand and is having to raise a child without support from the dad. I (f,20) have had a lot of home troubles and had to partly move into her one bed flat whilst figuring out my plans. My sister was able to find me a job with her and has allowed me to stay in her living room.

Now she has found out she’s pregnant she’s started telling everyone I will keep living with her and we would be finding a 3 bed to accommodate both of us and split the rent, however I never told her this is what I wanted and didn’t even know if I wanted to stay in this city.

I now feel responsible for this and guilty to leave her and move across the country where i know ill be happier but she wouldn’t have the same support system. During the few weeks of her being pregnant she has heavily relied on me to do things around the house, things she is still very capable of doing.

I think once she gives birth this will only get worse and i'lll be left to raise the baby while she does what she wants. When I said i wanted to leave and was going to move a few hours away without a drivers license she started telling me she can’t do it without me and with my experience (i worked in a nursery) she'll feel more comfortable postpartum. Now i don’t know what to do or if i should still move away??

What do you think? AITA if she moves away? This is what commenters had to say:

FormSuccessful1122 said:

Well if you can find a gig across the country where you don’t need a car and don’t pay rent, more power to you. Good luck.

Personal-Y said:

Your sister is choosing to be a single mom. Thats a hard road. You have the time shes pregnant to get your ducks in a row or you WILL become the defacto parent to this child. Run. Shes already showing she'll use you more than she actually needs to if you stay.

Zestyclose-Height-36 said:

Nta. but get your driver license first. It is not your job to be her nanny unless you want it to be. She doesn’t get to cast you in the role of baby support and you need to go before the baby comes or she rents a new place on the assumption you are staying. She was careless enough to get knocked up, this is her problem

Adventurous_Hall1751 said:

NTA. Your sister’s pregnancy isn’t your responsibility. If you stay, you’ll end up raising her baby. Move where you’ll be happy better today than later, unless deep down you truly want to help her.

Big-Tomorrow2187 said:

NTA… move out before the baby comes or you’ll never be able to get out because she’ll use that baby as leverage every single time to try to leave

She later shared this small edit with more info.:

Thanks for the responses and advice, i just want to add some info, the place i have looked at moving to is surrounded by a lot of family and will have a bigger support system and is a lot cheaper living, where i am now is very far away and isolated from anyone other than my sister,

I have been struggling and staying here was always supposed to be temporary but once my sister found out she was having a baby i felt bad even considering leaving. we have also had many conversations about the fact i don’t ever want children and am happy to just babysit and visit my nieces and nephews.

I will be talking to her tonight and reassuring i will still be here when she needs me it will just take me a few hours to get here:)

And she has since posted an update:

Thanks for all the advice, i spoke to my sister and she was able to understand where i was coming from and i am making a serious plan to move, a few of you have said why doesnt she move with me closer to family, she has built a life in this city and has spent majority of her life here and doesnt want to leave it (which i completely understand) :)