'AITA for moving someone else's birthday cake out of reach of an entitled toddler?'

"AITA for moving someone else's birthday cake out of reach of an entitled toddler?"

I was just at my girlfriend's mom's birthday party. We'd ordered an expensive cake for her and split the cost three ways with her sisters. Her brother, who never contributes to any of the shared presents, brought his spoiled 2 year old kid. While everyone was singing Happy Birthday, the kid started sticking his hands into the cake and licking them, and picking off the decorations.

I looked around in horror but her brother and his wife were just smiling at this like it was the absolute cutest thing ever, and everyone else was totally unfazed and said nothing. I bit my tongue and didn't say anything either, but...I reached over and moved the cake a few inches out of reach of the kid.

Immediately the kid started thrashing around and screaming bloody murder. Everyone glared at me like I was the most evil POS on earth for doing what I did and rushed to placate the kid, "aww you poor little thing"-ing and giving him cake.

I doubled down and calmly, rationally said what the kid was doing was incredibly unhygienic, it wasn't his birthday cake and he's old enough to be taught to wait literally one minute until he gets a slice of cake instead of destroying someone else's birthday cake and covering it with his germs.

Now I'm being made out to be a huge ahole for doing/saying this, and I "ruined the birthday party." Considering it's the entire family's reaction, it's making me start to question whether or not I am just a grumpy ahole.

Here's what people had to say about this one:

OneCraftyBird said:

OooooOOOOooooh this is the ghost of Christmas future talking now. This is every birthday party, every cookout, every reception for the rest of your life. If you have 100% buy in from your girlfriend, then your child will not be a monster, but they will quite rationally have questions about why their cousins get away with everything.

If your girlfriend was part of the group that piled on, you will be utterly alone for the rest of your life in believing in standards. But it’s not too late, Ebeneezer, it’s not too late. NTA.

LadyLeftist said:

This really sucks because you're NTA, BUT it's clear they're fucking gross and it should have been someone who's not the "daughter's boyfriend" saying something. I would have rejected a slice when the time came: "No, thank you. It's a germ thing."

If you are all super close, whatever then, no issue with how you said it. They can cry about their nasty kid. That's repulsive.

mackeyca87 said:

NTA - you moved the cake and the toddler had a fit. They appeared to be Ok with it. Even if this is nasty. If they all are OK with the toddler doing this then I would NEVER eat anything from your girlfriend or her family. You don’t know what else they think is OK.

madra_crainn said:

YTA, although it pains me to say so because you are correct. At a gathering of someone else's family in their own house, they are ones who decide if they are cool with a toddler's behavior or not.

To break it down...you're not the a-hole for moving the cake - tons of people would have moved that cake on instinct. I would not even fault someone for saying "oh sorry, I reacted quickly by moving the cake because I didn't know if you were worried about little Ebenezer getting messy" and then pointedly looking at the mess.

You're a bit of an a-hole for explaining to them about germs, read the room, obviously they think it's cute and don't care that it's gross (which it is). It's a higher level of a-hole behavior for framing your comments about the kid being "spoiled" and should be old enough to know better and behave differently.

The kid is 2, it's not your kid, they might be spoiled or they might not, but either way, your two cents are not needed and not appreciated. Also, no parent ever has adjusted their parenting approach based on a non-family member saying a judgy thing at a birthday party (even if the judgment was correct).

You would not be an a-hole for simply declining a piece of cake (without comment) when it was passed around. To paraphrase you, it's not your birthday cake and you're old enough to know that you can always stop on the way home and get a snack if you want dessert.

MissionOk9637 said:

I’m going YTA on this one because it feels like a read the room scenario, you said everyone else seemed unfazed, and while you split the cost it was also not your birthday cake. It was your girlfriend’s mom’s cake. If she was fine with it, that’s all that should matter here. It’s her grandkid and she might in fact think it’s cute.

I’m with you, I think it’s gross and I don’t think they are doing the kid any favors. But he is also 2 and that is pretty normal 2 year old behavior. It’s not your cake, not your kid, not your party so it’s not your call on this one. What got can decide if whether or not you want to actually eat a piece of the cake.

ReadySettyGoey said:

YTA. Not your kid, not your cake, not your rodeo. Would’ve been fine to decline a piece of cake if you were concerned about germs.