Woman tells best friend to stop seeing her ex, friend says, 'If you were more fun he wouldn't need to look elsewhere.'

I think my best friend is dating my ex-boyfriend and father of my children behind my back.

Beautiful_Camel8495 writes:

I (20F) have a child and another on the way with my ex-boyfriend, Jared (30M), and we've been successfully co-parenting for the past two months. My best friend (21F), Sarah, has always been a big part of my life, and we’ve been close since high school.

Last month, I had a casual meet-up with my friends, and Sarah was there too. This was Sarah's first time drinking, and she probably overdid it because she casually mentioned that she's been hanging out with Jared, my ex-boyfriend and the father of my kids, more often.

I was immediately taken aback but tried not to jump to conclusions and asked her for more information. She replied, saying that they had just “hit it off” and that “he’s a cool guy.” I thought it was strange, considering our history and that we have only been broken up for two months.

Not to mention, we co-parent our child and have another one on the way. Sarah said it simply wasn’t her problem and she’s not the “one single, pregnant, and broke at 20.” This comment hurt, coming from my best friend, but I was able to keep my composure and ultimately moved on after she apologized.

Last Friday, Jared came over to my place to take our daughter for the weekend. He didn’t mention, however, that he would be bringing Sarah too. As soon as Jared and Sarah walked through the door, I was disoriented, but I tried not to create tension in front of my daughter. I pulled them aside to casually ask why they were here together.

Jared and Sarah denied being anything other than friends, and told me that Jared was Sarah’s ride home and Sarah suggested coming over because she wanted to see me, and my ex had to make this stop anyway.

Their behavior was beginning to bother me, and I told them that I would prefer if they did not come to my house together again in the future. Jared argued back, claiming I was being controlling and he can decide who his friends are. Sarah made a comment about me, something along the lines of "Maybe if you were more fun, he wouldn't need to look elsewhere."

That was the last straw for me. My immediate response was to tell them to leave, quite loudly and harshly. Since they left, I’ve been replaying the scene in my mind and just feel a mix of anger, betrayal, and sadness.

The situation made me feel uncomfortable and as if my best friend didn't even care about me, but maybe I could have handled it better. It has been stressing me out, and I don’t want my daughter or my baby to be affected. I have to know, Am I the a^#hole for the way I reacted?

Here are some of the top comments from the post:

FitBit8124 says:

Going to say NTA (Not the A%@hole), but ma'am, you are as good at choosing best friends as you are at choosing boyfriends.

ChibiSailorMercury responded:

She's 20. She has been pregnant twice by him, which means that at the very best, she met him when she was 19. Otherwise, a teenager. Teenagers are not known to make best life choices.

It really sucks that a man 10 years older than her took advantage of it, but I find all the "you suck at picking men" comments to be very out of touch. Who didn't make a bad dating choice when they were 18 or 19?

NotThisAgain234 says:

NTA. Sarah seems more interested in shoving a blade under your ribs, and Jared is happy enough to go along with it. Jared can play with her on his own time, I think you should drop any delusion that she is your friend.

They had their fun with you today, but in future keep your communications with him at arms length and focused on the kids as much as possible. If you don’t have an official custody agreement, make that a top priority. There are apps you can use to communicate about the kids. I would not be trying to chat and be buddies with this guy.

Whorible_wife69 says:

You don’t mention your child’s age, how far along you are or how long the relationship lasted. So I’m going to assume he was in his late 20’s dating a teenager, that was probably a minor.

I think it’s best you end the friendship with Sarah and allow them to do what they want. Make it clear that the friendship is over and she is not welcomed into your home.

As for affecting your kids and co-parenting. Only communicate in writing so there is no he said she said. Have a parenting plan. Have clear boundaries about new partners interacting with your kids.

Don’t care about what he does because he’s clearly trying to hurt you. Again he was a full fledged adult dealing with a teenager he clearly isn’t mature. Focus on your child and having a healthy pregnancy. NTA.

What do you think? Is OP right to be upset with Sarah and her ex?