'My BF doesn't want me dressing like the women he watches on social media.' AITA?
"My BF doesn’t want me dressing like the women he watches on social media..."
My (22F) bf (22M) and I have been together for ten months. Recently I’ve noticed that on social media, he watches/ gives attention to other women that wear clothing that shows off a lot of skin. I am respectful and dress relatively modestly out of respect for myself & my bf.
He mentioned how this was one of the things he liked about me. How I’m beautiful even without needing to dress scantily. But now, I don’t like feeling like my modesty is all for nothing. So, I told him if he’s allowed to admire women wearing things he wouldn’t want me wearing, then fine but I will also be dressing like the women he’s paying attention to. He didn’t like that very much.
Now he’s saying I’m overreacting but all I did was mention that I will be changing my style. If he can appreciate women that dress like that, then why can’t I dress like that? If he doesn’t want me dressing to show lots of skin and truly wanted me to dress modestly, why is he encouraging the behavior by paying mind to women that dress like that?
He says it’s not the same thing and that I’m being unfair. I told him I felt like my modesty was getting me nowhere with him and I felt unappreciated so I will be dressing the way I want and if he has a problem with it then he can leave. Now he’s mad at me.
EDIT:
I just wanted to add that I don’t feel jealous about him seeing the women. He always expresses how obsessed he is with my body bc I have a small waist and a big butt (exactly his type). It’s more so that I don’t think it’s FAIR to essentially support women doing/wearing stuff that he doesn’t want me doing/wearing. It’s the double standard that’s just pissing me off. Am I being UNFAIR?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Hazmedic82 said:
So he wants to objectify other women while telling you no? He sounds like a loser
Novel-Scholarlol said:
NTA- You’re too young to be dealing with that bull crap. Go enjoy life and find someone mature enough to not make that distinction between what a “hoe” and “wife material” looks like. Also, dress however you want. You don’t need to dress modestly out of respect for him. You should do it because it truly makes you comfortable and is part of your personality.
tootired4dissh#t said:"
ESH. You're an insecure "pick me" playing petty games and degrading women for dressing differently than you. Your bf is controlling and clearly enjoys the way they dress but only wants you to cover up so other guys don't look at you. You both suck and probably deserve each other.
Mundane-Substance215 said:
NTA. Life's too short for this weird possessive sh#t. Wear what makes you happy, and if he can't handle it, he can keep his "social media hoes" while you find a better man.
No-Satisfaction-325 said:
ESH- Both of you sound like children and have no business being in a relationship.
Rich_Ad_1642 said:
NTA get a new bf cuz no one should be telling their partner how to dress. Dress how you want. If you like being modest in your clothing then do that and feel good about it but dont do things just to get his approval.. and he shouldn’t be dictating how you dress