'My BF moved his brother in without telling me. AITA for leaving?'

"My BF moved his brother in without telling me. AITA for leaving?"

Me F(30) was living with my boyfriend M(40) for 4 months in 1 bedroom apartment (the living room is directly connected to the kitchen) so not too much room. Before living with me he was living with his mom, but she moved out and I moved in.

So I was asking if anyone else will come and live with us, since he mentioned that his family members tend to move in with him a lot and it made him abandon his apartments for them and finding new, he said of course not and he will be focusing on building our family. Everything was going fine, then he starts to mention that I will be having a surprise in a week, I was anticipating, then…day X.

He comes home and says that his brother M(30) is coming to stay with us, I was confused and asked if that was my “ surprise “ he said “ of course not” but that was it, it was my surprise. I was ok at first since I thought he was staying like for a week and it will be a nice bonding moment. BF just said he doesn’t know for how long he will be with us, maybe for the working season, like winter-spring, 6 months.

For the context the brother had an apartment it was close to their job (they work together) do to traveling, plans to move to a different state and hobbies he let it go. I was asking of course “where will he be staying” but never got an answer. OF COURSE.

The same day bf told me was the same day he moved in. Since they work at night they go to sleep like at 6 pm so I’m left there in bed staring into the void, hungry most of the time. I was trying to talk to him about it for 1.5 days then just packed my things and left, to live in a commercial space, to sleep on the couch.

He said that his baby brother had no where to go, and I had?! Since I left my apartment that I had, to live with him. 2 months passed he wanted me to go back home, I refuse he’s telling me I ran off on him. AITA? NOTE: I’m not currently dating him, I’ve broken up with him I just wrote it in present tense.

Here's what people had to say to OP:

Life-Strategy4490 said:

NTA. He moved another adult into a one-bedroom apartment without telling you and did it the same day. That’s a major breach of trust and basic respect. Cohabitation decisions require consent from both partners. He removed your ability to say no.

The context makes it worse. You directly asked about family moving in. He promised it wouldn’t happen. Then he framed it as a surprise, which shows he knew you wouldn’t agree and tried to slide it through anyway.

Additional-Aioli-545 said:

NTA. Do not go back. Keep your homes separate. This person doesn't respect boundaries and he doesn't respect you.

Evening_Army_3916 said:

NTA he straight up went back in his word. So you left 3 is a crowd and probably the end of the relationship if you get married he will constantly be letting people move in w no respect to your space or privacy! You deserve better!

grayblue_grrl said:

NTA...But you shouldn't bother talking to him for your own peace of mind.

RJack151 said:

NTA. Tell him thanks for showing you that he did not have your back and that the relationship is over.

CleFreSac said:

NTA. He was correct in saying you ran off from him. 100% you ran away from him when you finally realized that the pattern he described to you before you moved in, was the pattern of your future.