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'My BF's best friend got him a sweater with her face on it for Christmas. AITA for my reaction?' UPDATED

'My BF's best friend got him a sweater with her face on it for Christmas. AITA for my reaction?' UPDATED

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"My boyfriend's best friend got him a sweater with her face on it for Christmas. AITA for how I reacted?"

My boyfriend told me his best friend wanted to get awkward family photos taken at a department store while wearing ugly Christmas sweaters. Fine by me, fun little thing for them to do. But today he calls and tells me she gave him the sweater they were gonna wear, and it's a custom made sweater with her dogs and her face on it.

He made it clear he didn't know about it and doesn't want me to feel like he's wearing another woman's face like he loves her, but more like he loves her dogs. It moreso threw us both off, as it's a extra. We've talked about this girl multiple times and my feelings about them and boundaries.

He only recently changed her name in his phone as "half girlfriend" from an inside joke, and it also upset his ex and it took me telling him it made me uncomfortable for him to change it. I know he sees me as a priority over her but I can't help but feel uncomfortable about this. AITA?

The internet had a lot to say in response.

karintheunicorn wrote:

As a woman with very good long term friends who are men, some who are single, some married or in long term relationships. This is very weird and obviously inappropriate. So don’t gaslight yourself (or let yourself be told) that it’s super normal and you’re just being crazy lol

It is blatantly disrespectful to you and the relationship and the friend (girl) knows that, which even if she did like him she should be respectful so...she sucks. And he sucks for not maintaining boundaries. He’s never going to be able to have a healthy relationship like this…

Accomplished_Dot2825 wrote:

Okay so I read this to my boyfriend and both of us audibly said "ew" when we read that your bf had changed her name to "half girlfriend."

They're clearly emotionally involved, it doesn't matter if he doesn't take it seriously, she most likely has feelings for him and it's inappropriate even if he doesn't feel the same. I would not be with a partner whom I know changed their best friend's (of the opposite sex) name to "half girlfriend."

saltychipfan wrote:

“Half girlfriend”? This is weird. Frankly I’m surprised you’re still in this relationship, but that’s coming from someone who’s dealt with the girl “best friend” before.

Whatever53143 wrote:

He has two girlfriends. Is that what you want? If you make him choose, be prepared for it not to be you. In fact, if you have to make him choose he will just see and speak to her behind your back. They almost always do!

It’s a new year time for a fresh start!

Ok-Advantage3180 wrote:

NOR this isn’t okay. This is the type of behaviour a girlfriend would do as some sort of joke (I would know as I’ve thought about doing something similar before). And calling her his half girlfriend is just plain weird. They both know what they’re doing and aren’t in any way innocent.

hcneyfreckles wrote:

Is the “inside joke” that they’re secretly with each other? Lmao because that s--t is inappropriate af. if he’s not into her, he’s gotta be feeding it for her to be this bold. you’re not OR.

A day later, OP shared an update.

I really didn't expect my first post to get the response it did wow. But here's an update on the situation. Last night I worked NYE while my boyfriend had the night off, he was going to go get the Christmas photos taken with his best friend but when they realized the store was closed they just went over to her place to hang out.

He looked me in the eyes before I left and told me he wasn't going to drink, but when I called him after I got out of work he was dr-nk, as his best friend told him to do shots. He's gotten dr-nk at her place before and stayed the night without telling me beforehand, so I really didn't know if he was planning on staying or not.

I was upset and he could tell and asked me to pick him, except it would be an hour worth of driving for me, after an extra day of work, to go pick him up. Thankfully someone gave him a ride home. I ended up going home, calling a friend of mine and talking things through.

He agreed that the sweater thing was weird, and the time I'm on the phone my boyfriend calls me 5 times. I eventually hang up and call my boyfriend, he's crying and a mess and I can barely understand him, so I get up to go see him (I've had a history of bad panic attacks and I know how bad they are and didn't want him to be alone).

He had a mental health episode and kept spewing self hate, and asking me what I saw in him, not living up to his potential, on top of a lot of other things that I didn't understand in the exhaustion/drunk-nness.

I let him stay the night at my place because I knew he didn't want to be alone, and I was worried about him, but soon after we got home he threw his empty vape across the room, and started beating his fists on the couch and yelling complaining about a game. I was getting incredibly concerned because I'd never seen him act like this. He almost immediately passed out after the outburst though.

He admitted he doesn't know what's been going on but his mental health has been in a bad space lately. Last week we got in a bad fight while we were drunk with yelling and crying, we talked things through though, and I figured we'd talk things through when we woke up, but I already wanted to send him home and be alone with his vi-lent behavior, but he started crying when I brought it up.

He spent most of the day sick in the bathroom, he said he only did 2 shots all night, so I'm not sure if he's lying or if he just ended up with a stomach bug at a bad time.

At one point he was in the bathroom and his phone wouldn't stop ringing, after the third phone call I got up to look and the call was from "💚1/2 gf 💚" the moment he came back out I told him he was leaving, and he was single, and I would be ordering a lyft for him home.

You were all right that the half girlfriend thing was the big red flag, as weird as the sweater was. It hurt me the first time he said it, and we discussed it and he said it was a joke but promised he understood and would change it in his phone.

When I brought it up to him he said that she had asked him to change it back, so he did, I told him he'd chosen her over me. The history behind the name is that my boyfriend used to live with her and her ex, and her ex was so terrible that by comparison my boyfriend was better to her, and so she would call him her "half boyfriend."

My boyfriend actually had asked her out in the past but she rejected him, saying they were better off as friends and he agreed saying he didn't want to date her. Obviously though she has no respect for me, or for my relationship, and I can't trust my boyfriend when he's around her, so he is no longer my boyfriend.

I'm a bit of a mess right now to be honest, I'm exhausted from dealing with him and not sleeping because of it, and all of this is made worse by the fact we work together and our coworkers have been very supportive. But I feel like I've made the right choice in breaking up. Here's to starting off 2025 single.

The internet had OP's back all the way.

No_Roof_1910 wrote:

Great choice dumping him OP.

Now, make it a complete 100% no contact going forward.

OP responded:

I work with him lol, so not possible. But it's gonna be very limited contact.

IntrospectOnIt wrote:

I'm going to tell you something hard to swallow. The crying? Guilt. He definitely had more than 2 shots and more than likely slept with her. His self hate rant? Guilt. Don't look back and just keep moving on with your life. None of that is worth it.

JoannaBabyGirl wrote:

Girl, you dodged a whole novella of red flags. The sweater was weird, but the 💚1/2 gf💚 thing? That’s a no from me. You handled this like a pro—especially putting yourself first. Starting 2025 single sounds way better than dragging that mess into another year. Here’s to leveling up and leaving nonsense behind. 👏

Sources: Reddit,Reddit
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