'AITA for threatening to kick my BIL out because he intentionally irritates me?'
"AITA for threatening to kick my brother in law out of my home for purposefully irritating me?"
RWBYYanging writes:
So this happened yesterday. My (F29) sister (F32), let's call her Alice, and her new husband (M32), let's call him Sam, came to stay with me for the weekend. Initially, I had only invited them for Friday night game night, but they sort of invited themselves to stay the weekend. It was a little annoying, but they're in the middle of moving to my area from across the country, so I can be a little flexible for them.
I barely know Sam, having only met him a handful of times, and he really wants to act like a big brother to me. I live alone and I'm very introverted and neurodivergent, though not officially diagnosed.
From the start, they were both a little overly entitled and disrespectful, first claiming they'd arrive at a certain time, then pushing that time back a couple of hours, and then not arriving until two hours after that. They were four hours late from the original plan.
There was more as well, but basically, I was getting irritated while still being a gracious host. Sam started to subtly insult me as a form of joking around, calling me a little child and saying that no adult listens to the whining of a little child like me. Then he called me boastful when I tried defending myself, which made my patience wear thin with him specifically.
I have a sensory issue with forks and knives scraping against bowls and plates. It is literally painful for me to the point that I have to cover my ears and my whole body flinches. While we were eating, Alice accidentally scraped her knife on the plate and apologized to me.
It wasn't too bad, but when she explained to Sam why she apologized, he took his fork and purposefully ground it against his plate to make that horrible screeching sound while staring right at me with a grin on his face.
I instantly told him that if he ever did that again in my home, he would be kicked out. They changed their plans right away and left an hour later, very upset at me for saying that to him.
OP added some extra context.
Just wanted to give a little aftermath. My sister insisted over and over again that I was being dramatic for taking it that far, and when I told her what Sam did was disrespectful, she insisted it wasn’t and that he was just playfully teasing me to try to get a rise out of me, like siblings are supposed to.
I also just remembered another incident. I am celiac, and my home is fully gluten-free. I reminded my sister long before their visit and asked them not to bring any gluten into my home. They brought a wheat-based cereal, knowingly, into my home, though they brought a bowl and disposable cutlery to minimize the chance of cross-contamination. I'm still upset about this.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
bfnch says:
NTA. Sam sucks.
mama_d63 says:
It's not playful teasing, it's deliberate bullying. Your sister's husband is the jerk here and if I were you I'd tell her right now that he is no longer welcome in your home. And please get evaluated and get a diagnosis. There are a lot of resources out there. NTA.
Donutsmell says:
NTA. your brother-in-law is a childish instigator, and your sister needed to shut that down. Instead, she took his side. I feel bad that they are moving closer to you.
Straight_Coconut_317 says:
NTA. Sam is not your sibling.