'My boyfriend and his sister-in-law snuck out to the beach at 3AM. How do I bring it up?' UPDATED

If you sense something suspicious, it's wise to follow that lead.

"Boyfriend [25M] and his sister-in-law [28F?] sneaked out to the beach at 3AM."

OK so last night that happened. We've been together for a year. We were visiting his parent's house (who live by the beach) and his brother was also there with his wife. We stayed there last night and at around 3am I was half sleep and noticed that he's leaving the room. I thought he's probably going to the bathroom or something.

I heard some noises from downstairs and I wasn't paying attention until I saw from the window that he's going out to the beach with his brother's wife! They came back about an hour later. I still haven't confronted him and was wondering what this could mean. What was it that they needed to do? I don't know what to think. Is it something that I can be upset about? Sneaking around at night isn't cool in my opinion.

TL;DR: Boyfriend sneaked around at 3am with his sister in law to go to the beach and came an hour later while he thought I was sleeping.

The internet had a lot to say.

[deleted] wrote:

I'm very surprised you didn't follow them. It could have a range of interpretations from a crazy idea to wanting to f#$k on the beach

OP responded:

I wanted to but they had locked the front door behind them, and I didn't have the key.

AngelicPrincess wrote:

This is a new one to me. Do tell, how do you get locked IN a house?

OP responded:

The lock has keyholes in both sides. I imagine my in laws lock the doors at night and keep the key somewhere inside and my boyfriend had a spare key so he opened it, got out and locked it back.

panic_bread wrote:

What if there's a fire? I once went on a couple of dates with a guy. On our second date, he invited me over to his house to watch a movie. When it was time to leave, it turned out that the door was locked from the inside and it took him about 10 minutes to track down the key. I never went on another date with that guy again.

BlueVegas wrote:

Make sure all four are present, ask them, in a non-accusational tone, what they were doing so late, being gone for an hour in the night. Pay close attention to their facial expressions.

Caffeinated_Nerd wrote:

Easy. Ask him. An innocent "Where were you last night? I woke up and you'd gone. Couldn't you sleep?"

His answer will tell you whether you should be suspicious or not.

Four days later, OP shared an update.

Hey again. As much as I wanted to tell you all that it was over nothing, that they just wanted to get some air or smoke some w**d or something, not the case. They were indeed f#$king. I asked my boyfriend about it. Didn't mention that I saw him go out with her, just that I saw him leave the bed and come back later.

He told me that he just went to pee and then saw his dad in the kitchen who couldn't sleep and they had a chat for a while. Liar. I asked his sister in law immediately after that, said that I saw her from the window for a second. Was I just imagining it since I was half sleep or did she go out "alone" that time of night?

She said that she enjoys midnight breaths and alone walks on the beach. Liar again. I told his brother that I saw them leave. He told me that they enjoy long walks on the beach. He couldn't be bothered to go with them. I thought liar. So apparently they gave each other the heads up since my boyfriend came to me and told me everything an hour later.

Him and his brother like sharing their girlfriends and SOs. He's been f#$king his sister in law for years now. That night was just another moment. He told me that he wanted to tell me when the time is right or when he thought I'm prepared so that I can join in and sleep with his brother so they don't even need to sneak around.

He wasn't even admitting that it was cheating, saying that it doesn't count since it's his sister-in-law not some random girl. I don't even know what to say to that. He called me traditional for thinking it was cheating.

Yeah. I consider having s#x with anyone else cheating, call me traditional. So I broke up with him and left him to deal with his weird shit with his brother and I'm actually happier now. The thought of what he was up to all those times grosses me out completely. He can f#$k himself. We wanted to go on a holiday together, now I'm gonna go have fun with my cousins instead.

The internet did not hold back.

prettyandsmart wrote:

I love that he said it's not cheating because it's his SIL. WTF??? That is literally the craziest statement I have ever seen.

Not to mention it's pretty f#$ked up to have this arrangement, get a girlfriend, and keep it secret until you think she's "ready" to exchange SO's and have s#x with the brother. How the h*ll are you going to assume that your girlfriend is going to be down with doing it when you finally explain the arrangement?? OP you dodged a freight train.

OP responded:

He thought he was preparing me for it slowly.

are-you-sitting-down wrote:

Do take the time to go get checked out for $TDs.

OP responded:

I have an appointment for tomorrow actually. I'm gonna make sure everyone knows their sh#$ if he's given me something. Their parents don't know. They will if I have an S*D.

Commenter wrote:

Don't let anger and revenge control your actions. Also remember that the girl has done you no harm so disclosing her secret might not be fair to her.

OP responded:

She's done me no harm? She had sex with my boyfriend God knows how many times behind my back while knowing I wouldn't be OK with it and she lied to me about it face to face. F#$k her. TL;DR: They were f#$king. His brother knew. It was their thing. They wanted me involved too. No way. We broke up. F#$k them all.

[deleted] wrote:

Holy s#$t, well that didn't even go close to the way I thought it was. I figured maybe a surprise for you for a year's anniversary or something. Good on you. This is hard, I know, but remember this is a good thing. Better you find out now, than years from now after further investment.

Good luck to him finding someone that isn't so 'traditional' to be upset at finding out your monogamous partner is f#$king someone else, what a skeeze.

sweetrhymepurereason wrote:

Ew, what? No! You sound very detached, which is good-ish, you know? Feel your feelings, though. You're gonna have a lot of feelings. Let them come, feel them fully, and let them go.

Honestly, this is the wildest possible outcome, really. It's awful now, but in 10 years this will be your back pocket story when someone asks you "who's the worst boyfriend you ever had?" People will buy you a godd*mn beer for this story, girl.