'My boyfriend keeps letting his friend come on our dates. Should I break up with him?' UPDATED 2X

"My (22F) boyfriend (22M) keeps letting his friend (24M) come on our dates."

Okay, how we got into this predicament in the first place, is that my boyfriend just really likes his friend (Liam) he’s like a brother to him, he saved his life once, etc. But he’s on ALL our dates.

I even brought one of my single friends on a date (so we could double) and Liam and her don’t date, so that failed. I’ve honestly asked my BF “why Liam is on our dates“ and he says that Liam is, lonely, has nobody else, and he has NO SIBLINGS or girlfriend.

But then my boyfriend kind of guilts me because (I know this sounds awful) Liam is the f#$king package for guilt! His Mom died when he was young, then his Dad and him don’t talk anymore, so Liam just doesn’t have anyone else to talk to.

I honestly think my boyfriend is guilt tripping me, and I don’t think I can do this relationship anymore. If nothing changes I’m leaving, this has gone on for 3 months. Like, sure, I feel bad for Liam, but I don’t really know him, and its not my problem. its also not just dates, movie nights, he's here. Going to the mall, he's there, where is he not.

TL;DR: My boyfriend keeps bringing his friend on our dates, and basically guilt trips me into not kicking his friend out. Also, I know this sounds made up, I still can’t believe it, but it is very much real. And I basically just need validation that its ok to break up with my boyfriend over this (the whole post).

The internet did not hold back one bit.

FJBP95 wrote:

Before ending it (you are fully validated on doing so based on your post) have you put your foot down? Why don't you plan dates and tell him his friend is not invited, period?

OP responded:

I have, but as I said in the post, he always, like, guilt trips me into letting him come. Saying this out loud, kind of just made me realize he’s manipulative.

tsukiii wrote:

It’s OK to break up. You didn’t sign up to be the third wheel in your own relationship. He can spend as much time with Liam as he wants as a single dude.

actualiterally wrote:

Girl I can't believe you've lasted 3 months with this. Go find a nice young man who wants to take you on a date without his homeboy sitting there being an awkward 3rd wheel at all times.

cumulonimbusted wrote:

I went on a first date to a festival once, his friend called and date said “yeah we’re at the festival come by” I stuck out the date, and even made friends with both dudes. But that was 100% the end of our dating journey.

Fun-Reporter8905 wrote:

The very simple point is that he doesn’t actually like you and he doesn’t want to date you so set him free and move on to someone who does.

After receiving support, OP shared a small update.

EDIT: I called my soon to be ex-boyfriend to meet up, and I’m gonna break up with him, I’m gonna tell him the exact reason honestly. I swear if Liam is there though, like, I’m not considering the possibility of not breaking up with him. It’s not even just because of Liam, its that he manipulates me into letting Liam come.

Not long after, OP shared another update.

UPDATE: I broke up with my ex (I’m gonna call him Xavier) I went to where we agreed to meet up, and guess who he brought with him…you guessed it LIAM! I was very annoyed at this point, I told him I wanted to speak with him privately, and he brings f#$king Liam.

It’s very uncomfortable to break up with someone in front of their best friend, but I was too pissed, I told him “I said I wanted to speak privately“ he said “say it in front of Liam” eventually I just get annoyed and say “Thats it! I don’t want Liam always here in our private life, on dates, everywhere."

He basically said, remember what I told you about Liams circumstance, blah blah blah. I said something like, “I’m sorry, but I don’t give a f about what Liams going through right now, this is about me breaking up with you” meanwhile Liam is just standing there…looking confused? I’ll get back to this later.

So we basically get into a fight in this park, and it gets to the point where I tell him that he manipulates me into not kicking Liam out of our dates, and about everything he told me Liam went through (like a brother to Xavier, saved Xavier's life, deceased mom, dad absent, no siblings, friends, or girlfriend).

And then Xavier looks like he got caught or something, and Liam gets angry saying like, “what did you tell her” this is all really funny and really awful at the same time. It turns out…NONE OF WHAT XAVIER TOLD ME WAS TRUE. Liam has a fiancée, has a REAL brother and sister, and his mom isn’t dead! So, anyway, definitely broke up with Xavier.

Like, 40 minutes later, Liam DMs me basically saying that Xavier told Liam that I wasn't ”comfortable“ being alone with Xavier, and that he thought I wanted him to be on the dates. Sir, what? he said the reason why he agreed is because his fiancée is living in Europe to finish up her study abroad program, and he had nothing better to do.

So Xavier just flat out is a liar, glad I broke up with him, mad I got lied to, but oh well. This was honestly not a turn of events I was expecting, and I have to get it out somewhere.

TL;DR Xavier is a liar and turns out everything he told me about Liam was false just to play a game or something.

The internet had a lot to see in response.

BarberWild8752 wrote:

Okay but I need to know WHY X did this...

imalive_25 wrote:

Well done on getting out of that situation! If he was lying about Liam, what else would he lie to you about in the future.

defenestrayed wrote:

Well. That's all crazypants.

You're of course well rid of him, and now you have a hilarious story!

ambercrayon wrote:

Liam seems nice you should be friends and ditch the psycho.