'AITA for not asking my brother to come home because my family let him get bullied?'

"AITA for not convincing my brother to come back after he cut most of our family off for their complicity in his bullying?"

ThrowraTeaplant12 writes:

My brother (24M, Alan) hates our family and community with a passion because of events in our childhood. Essentially, he was bullied by his peers in childhood for whatever petty, childish reasons they had. I believe that at some points it was physical—pushing him around—or, in the most extreme case, when some kid threw a rock at his head.

Our family didn't bother trying to help since they believed it was just children being immature and that they would move on from it. Most teachers didn't care, according to him, and only offered to have some words with his tormentors.

As far as I can tell, the bullying never stopped, and he didn't bother bringing it up again. In high school, he finally blew up and had a mental breakdown in class when it got to be too much for him.

Our parents realized their mistake and tried to get him help or to apologize, but he just rejected their efforts. Alan became easily agitated and very angry, so he started retaliating against anyone who said anything or tried to antagonize him.

He did some really awful things during this time—I don’t think I can say it on Reddit without getting in trouble. The closest I can say is that he used personal tragedies as insults to people who irritated him.

That nearly escalated into a fight, which is a whole other issue, but our parents pulled him from that school and put him somewhere else. He left after getting into a trade school and refuses to come back home. He only bothers talking to me (16F) and a few of our cousins via phone or text.

My mom and dad have changed their views on things like mental health because of what happened to Alan and take it seriously now. Recently, we've been getting pressure to get him to come back and try to mend things, but we're scared he'd just cut us off for even suggesting it.

Here are the top rated comments from readers:

adobeacrobatreader says:

NTA. DONT DO THAT! Poor guy has only a couple of people he still has contact with, dont let your parents take that way from him too. Im sorry, but your parents are assholes and they dont deserve to be in your brothers life.'

Perfect_Ring3489 says:

NTA. Dont get involved. The door is open between you and him. If you pressure him , he will cut contact with you.

IntelligentPin3925 says:

Well your parents changed their view waaaaaaaay to late, its their fault. Also if you do try to mend things he will 100% cut you off too.

PenelopeLewiss says:

It’s his choice to heal, and pushing him could just make things worse. Let him decide when he's ready.

What do you think?