'My incel brother went to the Philippines to find a wife but I warned her about him, AITA?'
"AITA for telling my brothers new wife he’s just using her to care of him and his child?"
Alive_State9958 writes:
I have a bad relationship with my brother, so I’m wondering if that’s clouding my judgment. My brother is gross, both in terms of looks and personality. I really don’t like him. He could never get a girlfriend for pretty much his whole life—until he paid a stripper to take his virginity at the ripe old age of 25.
She got pregnant, and the baby was born with both Down syndrome and fetal alcohol issues. A paternity test was done, and yes, my brother is the father. She disappeared into the wind, leaving my brother as a single dad to this child. He already had no dating prospects, and that made things even worse.
He has kind of hated women his entire adult life. He thinks life’s not fair, he deserves love, women need to give him a chance, and women just want hot, rich guys. Blah, blah, blah—entitled s%&t. I’m not sure why our parents don’t correct him, and they shut me down when I try to.
Anyway, he recently decided to save up so he could go to the Philippines to find a wife because “American women don’t have family values.” The reality is, he tried with American women, but getting a woman in poverty is his only shot.
He (31M) met an 18-year-old girl from a very poor family. He married her quickly and convinced her that he would be the best husband in the world. He didn’t tell this woman anything about his son’s issues.
She was shocked when she was brought back to his sh%^@y apartment and medically needy child. I met her for the first time and took her out shopping, and she actually seemed like a very nice girl. She is clearly in way over her head.
I could tell she was holding back what she wanted to say because he’s my brother, but I flat-out told her that staying with him for a green card is not worth it. He will treat her like s%$t, and he only wanted her because she’s young and desperate. He hates his kid and wants a woman to take care of him, and he’s also just a desperate loser.
She cried and asked to stay with me, which I agreed to. I feel bad for her, and I want to help her as best as I can. Not sure what we can do to keep her in the country. I’m a straight woman, but I’d marry her if I could, realistically. AITA? My brother and parents are mad at me—my parents reluctantly, and my brother is absolutely furious.
OP responded to some comments.
FiddleStyxxxx says:
Anyone who ever says this is a good deal to get her out of poverty, ask yourself why he didn't find a nice, poor American girl to lift out of poverty? It's because she could leave him much easier and he wouldn't be able to hide his true situation as easily.
OP responded:
Exactly. He did not have good intentions whatsoever.'
Forsaken_Inside4196 says:
NTA. You're sister in law doesn't deserve this. She had no idea, and this marriage was under false pretense. Honestly, your brother should give his kid up to the state.
OP responded:
Maybe. I know kids with disabilities don’t have the best outcomes with the state, or kids in general tbh. I wish he gave him up for adoption and found a nice family. I don’t understand why he kept him. He resents that kid. I’d take him if I could, but I realistically can’t.