Man tells brother his ex reached out before his wedding; bro says, 'You ruined my life.'
You never realize a relationship is toxic until it's too late. On a popular Reddit thread on the Am I The A**hole Subreddit, a man's toxic relationship just won't die.
AITA for telling my brother (I was his best man) that his toxic but 'love of his life' ex was trying to get in touch with him the night before his wedding?
Big Shirl has big love.
My brother started dating 'Big Shirl' in 6th grade. He's 25 now, to show how long this has been going on. To say that he and Big Shirl were toxic together is an understatement. They have over a decade of torturing the f*ck out of each other. It is an understatement to say they have broken up and gotten back together well over 1000 times.
A relationship is toxic when it takes your entire family for a ride.
My entire family would go through the roller coaster ride with him, and we'd always see him date a really lovely girl, then Big Shirl would get in touch with promises of porno sex, and he'd dump the nice girl and be right back into Big Shirl's arms.
The only way off the train is to not talk to the train ever again.
It has been about two years since their last breakup, and he met a girl named Karli, who is literally a peach. We all love everything about her. My brother finally went to no contact with Big Shirl at the time he met Karli and has had two years of relationship bliss.
Congrats to your brother!
They got married on Saturday. My brother says he blocked Big Shirl on everything, and I am inclined to believe him since it's been two years since her stench has darkened our doors.
Nevertheless, Big Shirl persists.
We had a very low-key bachelor party the Friday before in which we played poker and smoked cigars. At about 11:30, Big Shirl texted me and asked if the wedding was really taking place. I said yes and to not bother him. She said to please let him know her heart was breaking, but she'd be his personal bachelor party if he was so inclined.
I didn't say anything to my brother that night but on the way from the ceremony to the reception, I made a joke about Big Shirl contacting me, and you could see the blood drain from his face. All he said was, 'thanks.'
At least he wasn't butt naked on the bathroom floor.
Later in the evening, Karli caught my brother in the kitchen of the reception place on the phone with Big Shirl. They had a huge fight, and while they tried to put on a good face for the rest of the reception...it was cold as ice for the rest of the night
My brother came over and said that I 'ruined his life' by telling me that Big Shirl had gotten in touch with me. I guess he and Karli have been fighting nonstop since Saturday, and there is talk of canceling the honeymoon.
My brother blames me and says I should have known better. Was I the a**hole for telling him that Big Shirl was trying to get in touch with him?
NUT-me-SHELL says:
NTA (Not the A**hole). Karlie deserves better than marrying a guy who is so hung up on his toxic ex that he calls her from the reception hall.
jmicsmith says:
NTA. If mentioning someone's name causes this reaction, he has no business getting married. You are showing Karli who he is early so she can hopefully run.
Unawarepandabear says:
ESH (Everyone Sucks Here). You don’t bring up exes on a wedding day, point blank. You could have mentioned it after, but saying it midday of the wedding day was sh*tty.
That being said, your brother also clearly sucks if the mere mention of his ex being a possible option is enough to destroy the entire wedding day and jeopardize his (what was supposed to be lifelong) relationship. It makes you question how over his ex he was. Karli deserves better.