"AITA for refusing to let my brother's fiancée wear a wedding dress at my wedding?"
"AITA for refusing to let my brother's fiancée wear her late mother’s wedding dress at my wedding?"
OP writes:
So, I (28F) am getting married in two months, and I’ve planned every detail down to the last flower petal. It’s my dream wedding, and I’ve been saving and planning for years. Here’s where things get tricky.
My younger brother (26M) is engaged to his fiancée, Emma (24F), and she recently lost her mom in a tragic accident. Emma and I have always gotten along fine, but we’re not super close. Anyway, her mom had a very beautiful, expensive wedding dress that Emma inherited, and it means a lot to her.
A few days ago, Emma came to me in tears, asking if she could wear her late mom’s wedding dress to my wedding as a guest. I was shocked because this felt... off? Like, I totally understand that she wants to honor her mom, but I just feel like a wedding dress at someone else’s wedding is not the time or place. Especially since she knows I have a very specific theme, color palette, and vibe for my day.
I told her gently that I didn’t think it was appropriate, and she started crying, saying it was the only way she felt her mom could be with her during a major family event. She said she’d never get to see her mom at her own wedding, and wearing the dress felt like a way to keep that connection. I felt for her, but I held firm that my wedding wasn’t the right time for that.
Well, now my brother is furious with me, saying I’m heartless and selfish, and a bunch of family members have started to take sides. Some say Emma’s request is deeply sentimental and that I’m being too rigid about “wedding rules,” while others agree that it’s weird for a guest to wear a wedding dress at someone else’s wedding.
Emma hasn’t spoken to me since, and my brother says they’re considering not coming to the wedding at all unless I change my mind. My fiancé is supportive of me, but I’m starting to feel guilty because I know this is tied to grief, and I don’t want to be the bad guy. AITA for refusing to let her wear her late mother’s wedding dress to my wedding?
Here are the top rated comments from readers of OP's original post:
Flashy_Confusion0226 says:
I don't understand why she doesn't wear it to her own wedding. Why would she wear it as a guest to someone else's wedding?
ZookeepergameCheap89 says
NTA that’s just f%#$ing crazy. She can wear it for her own damn wedding.
juzme99 says:
She can wear her mum's dress to her own wedding, the hide of her trying to high-jack your wedding and using her grief to steal the spot light at your wedding. Their is never a right time for anyone to wear a wedding dress to someone's wedding.
Like you want everyone talking about her mother's death at your wedding. It is also disgusting your brother trying to rally family members and alluding to not attend. Major family event , she is not family yet.
Beautiful_Metal_9136 says:
Hire security. She will show up or change into it or there will be a huge spectacle at your wedding. Don’t doubt it. Just do it if you care about your wedding and it going the way you want please trust me give them pics of both of them and tell them about the dress Set up passwords with your vendors so she doesn’t try to change anything