'I'm pregnant from a "situationship." His mom is legally trying to stop us from moving away.' UPDATED

"My situationship got me pregnant. MIL is trying to claim 'grandparents rights' in order to get him not to move away with me."

So I(F22) have been with L (24M) for about a year and a half. We’ve been on and off mostly because he lives in another state-- also because I've had trouble gauging his feelings for me. We weren't exclusive but he wasn’t seeing anybody else, and I wasn’t either.

I found out that I was pregnant a couple of months ago! I did want babies one day but never expressed a serious desire for children--and neither had L. Normally, I'd be against having a child at 22 in a non-serious relationship, but I couldn’t shake the lingering feelings of excitement and happiness.

I had no plans to keep the baby, but when I informed L, the look of genuine pleasure and enthusiasm in his face made me reconsider- I have a steady job as an on-call healthcare professional and am able to support myself and a baby, while he--shares a home with his parents—a house inherited by the family that they pay bills on.

He asked me if I wanted to keep the baby and offered to really step up. His career is more hobby at the moment but if we kept the baby, he promised to secure stable employment.

I decided to keep the baby and we are moving forward and really excited. It made me realize that I was in love him and had been holding back. He confessed that he loved me as well, and we are now exclusive and plan to move in together.

The problem: My support system is in my state and we've agreed to move back there. We sat his parents down to inform them of our plans and his mother, who had always been neutral and pleasant fixture immediately took issue with it. She freaked and forbade him from moving away.

She claimed that I could give birth in his state, and they—being his parents—would set us up. I refused, trying to inform her that I’d feel more comfortable having and raising the baby near my family, but she barely let me get a word in. L cut her off and we left.

Since then, she has been haranguing L, trying to get him to reconsider. Even going as far as threatening to cut off his share in the inheritance (I will not go into detail on their financial situation.). This didn't phase me as I am self-sufficient, but L is very stressed.

He tentatively suggested a 50/50 situation. I pointed out how hard that'd be on a newborn, as well as stressful for me. We haven’t quite come to an agreement, but he is backing whatever decision I make. I feel a bit bad though, because he is very close to his parents.

We had another sit down and seeing that I wasn't budging, she let slip that she may claim grandparent rights—as they are in possession of substantial assets, I saw red. The thought that she'd try to take my (yet unborn) child from me made me want to go scorched earth. I started screaming, and L told her she was out of line. We left.

We have since gotten a hotel and haven't been back to his home since. I have no plans to have my baby in this state, but I'm afraid there's any validity to her claim? I may post to r/legaladvice as well, but I would like to know if I am being unreasonable in how i'm handling this.

What do you think? Is she being unreasonable? This is what top commenters had to say:

humble-meercat said:

L’s mom is uninformed and just shot herself in the foot, badly… this is NOT how supposed “grandparents rights” work at all. You are at zero risk OP.

A quick google search will show that those supposed rights are barely enforceable, take very specific circumstances such as a divorce, abuse, and most importantly A PRIOR RELATIONSHIP, usually partially custodial/caregiver type etc with the child. And no sane judge would EVER take a child away from healthy parents because of a psycho grandma.

She can still use her money to harass you, which will be useless but annoying so you may have to find a good lawyer just in case, but unless she meets that kind of criteria, which she WON’T as long as she’s never in a caregiver role, she’ll just be wasting money so you’re all good.

And now you have every single reason to never ever ever let said psycho establish that kind of relationship if she’s making threats like that. I recommend very LC.

And Whyallusrnames said:

Idk what state you’re in but in my state and other states that I know about, grandparents right only exist if the child was cared for exclusively by the grandparents for over 6 consecutive months. So, she has no grounds or chance of getting any rights to your child if that’s the case in your state. Google the grandparents rights for his state.

She later shared this update:

I think MIL has found this post. i feel the comments laughing her off must have knocked some sense into her because she's now 'summoned' me and L back to their home--Immediately. I have no intentions of going back there.

L and I have already looked into consulting a family law attorney to make sure she really can't do anything. I'd like to thank all the people who reaffirmed my view point and provided so much advice and well wishes. It is very touching, and I still very much plan to go back home.

If MIL wants to talk, I've encouraged L to speak with them if he'd like. I now believe there is something sinister going on with his 'inheritance', so I think he should deal with that. As for me and my child, we will remain strictly no contact for the foreseeable future. thank you again.