'AITA for skipping my cousin's wedding because she said my son would ruin the vibes?'
AITA for refusing to go to my cousin's wedding after she insulted my disabled son?
Intelligent_One631 writes:
So, I (34F) have a 9-year-old son, Luke, who has cerebral palsy. He's my whole world—smart, funny, and just a joy to be around, even though he’s non-verbal and in a wheelchair. Most of my family has been supportive, although I always get the feeling that some of them don't really understand what it’s like to raise a kid with disabilities.
My cousin Emma (28F) is one of those people. We used to be close when we were younger, but we’ve drifted apart as we’ve gotten older. She’s always been a bit selfish, but nothing major—just kind of self-centered. She’s getting married in a couple of months and has been going on and on about her wedding since the day she got engaged. It’s fine, weddings are a big deal, whatever.
Last weekend, we were at a family BBQ at my aunt's house, just relaxing, when Emma came up to me. At first, I thought she wanted to chat about her wedding again, which I was prepared to politely listen to (for the 100th time), but nope. Instead, she hit me with this.
She goes, “So, I was thinking about the wedding... and I think it might be better if Luke didn’t come.” I just stared at her, trying to figure out what the hell she was talking about. So, I asked, “What do you mean? Why wouldn't Luke come?”
She sighed like she was doing me a favor and said, “Well, it's going to be a long day, and I just don’t think he’ll be comfortable. Plus... I don’t want people to feel awkward or sorry for him, you know? The whole day’s going to be about celebrating, and I just want the vibe to be right.”
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. My son, who has a disability, is somehow going to ruin the “vibe” of her perfect little wedding? I could feel my face getting red, but I stayed calm and told her, “If Luke isn’t welcome, I won’t be there either.”
She immediately started backtracking, saying that I was overreacting and she didn’t mean it like that. But she 100% did. I ended the conversation by telling her I had nothing else to say and left the BBQ early.
Here’s where the real drama kicks in. Word got around the family that I’m refusing to go to the wedding, and now everyone’s acting like I’m the bad guy. Emma’s mom (my aunt) called me and basically said that I need to “let it go” because weddings are stressful, and Emma didn’t mean to offend me. My own mom even thinks I should just “be the bigger person” for the sake of keeping the peace.
But I am so furious. My son is not an embarrassment, and I refuse to act like his presence is some kind of inconvenience. I can’t stand the idea of sitting at Emma’s wedding, smiling and pretending like she didn’t just completely disrespect my son.
So, AITA for refusing to go to my cousin’s wedding after what she said? Should I just suck it up for the sake of family, or is this the hill I should die on?
Here are the top comments:
Kratos3770 says:
Good for you and f%$k anyone who goes against you. NTA cousin is a b@%#h anyway.
PuddinTamename says
You are definitely not the AH. Personally, I would skip the wedding and her.
Key-Organization-159 says:
NTA - take whatever funds you were going to spend on wedding outfits and take your son for a fun weekend trip instead. Those are better memories, anyway!
Quiet-Hamster6509 says:
You are your son's carer. If he can't go then you need to be there to care for him. That's the end of it. NTA
What do you think?