'AITA for not going to my cousin's wedding because she has the hots for my husband?'
"AITA for refusing to go to my cousin’s wedding after she flirted with my husband?"
MaximumStand5859 writes:
Hey everyone, I need some advice. I (33F) am having a really hard time with a family situation, and I just don’t know if I’m doing the right thing. I’ve been married to my husband (35M) for 5 years. He’s seriously the best—my absolute rock.
Loyal, loving, honest—all the good stuff. A few months ago, we were at a family gathering, and my cousin "Emma" (28F) was there. Growing up, Emma and I were super close—almost like sisters. But something happened that day that I just can’t shake.
Later that night, my husband told me Emma had been really inappropriate with him. She was flirting hard—touching his arm, complimenting him way too much, and at one point, she even asked him if he’d ever thought about them "together."
I was in shock. He immediately shut her down but told me because he didn’t want there to be any secrets between us. And I believe him 100%—he’s never given me any reason not to.
The next day, I confronted Emma about it, and she totally blew it off. She said I was overreacting and that she was just “joking around.” But I know my husband, and I know when something is off. He wouldn’t lie to me about this, and honestly, the way she acted has really shaken me. Since then, I’ve kept my distance from her, but it hasn’t been easy with family events and all.
Now, here’s the issue—Emma’s getting married in a few weeks, and my whole family is so excited. She sent out invites, and of course, I got one. But I don’t want to go. I can’t pretend like everything’s fine and sit there watching her get married when she totally disrespected my marriage. My husband says he’s fine with whatever I decide, but I can tell even he feels weird about the idea of going.
Here’s where it gets complicated: my family doesn’t know the full story, and they’ve been putting a ton of pressure on me to go. My mom keeps saying things like, “It’s one day, don’t make this a big deal,” or “It’s family, we have to stick together.”
Some of my other relatives have been dropping hints that if I don’t go, it’s going to cause a lot of tension. But honestly, why should I have to sit there and fake a smile when I feel like my cousin betrayed me?
I know weddings are a big deal, and I really don’t want to cause drama, but at the same time, I feel like I need to stick to my principles here. It’s not like I’m trying to punish her, but I don’t think I should be forced to go just to keep the peace.
So, AITA for refusing to go to my cousin’s wedding after she hit on my husband? Or am I being too dramatic about the whole thing? Should I just suck it up and go for the sake of family harmony? I’m really torn. Would love to know what you guys think!
Here are the top rated comments from readers of the post:
Guilty-Choice6797 says:
So wait if she’s getting married that means she was engaged when she hit on your husband? I would tell her fiancé about the whole,e thing. He deserves to know before he marries her.
MonsieurJoieDeVivre says:
NTA - If you don't want to go, and your husband doesn't want to go - don't go. It's that simple. There's no need to cause drama but if you get along well with your mum I'd just explain why you don't want to go as well. Keeping things bottled up so as not to rock the bottom seldom works.
Virtual-Instance-898 says:
Tell your cousin you will not be attending and tell her why. When she objects, tell her that if there is further pressure from her or any of her family members, OP will be obligated to tell cousin's fiance that cousin was hitting on OP's husband while engaged to fiance.
AlwaysHelpful22 says:
You are at a crossroad. You can hate/avoid her forever (skip the wedding), or you can move forward with caution and give her another chance (attend the wedding). NTA either way.