'AITA for not wanting to speak to my cousin after her cruel prank made me leave a party?' UPDATED
"AITA for not wanting to speak to my cousin after her cruel prank made me leave a party?"
I (21F) have a cousin/BFF (22f). Recently while I was at the club I got a call from her basically in a state of panic. She had called me because her boyfriend has passed out after having a seizure and she didn’t know what to do.
Her boyfriend has some sort of heart condition so I was freaking out. I couldn’t hear that well because of the music but I could hear her crying and having a panic attack. I told her to calm down and call 911 then to call me back when they get there.
I currently am living in another state 20hrs away so there’s not much I could do. But since she was freaking out I left my friends and walked back to my apartment at 1 am calling anyone that was near her to go check on her.
On my way back, I got cat called twice. Normally I would never put myself in that situation but I couldn’t just stay at the party. I called her back, no answer. At this point I’m freaking out.
I get to my apartment I call back and her boyfriend picks up the phone and I was confused. I asked if he was okay and he said yeah than I asked for my cousin and he put her on and when I asked her what happened she told me it was just a dare/prank.
When I tell you I broke out into tears. I was so mad that I told her off and hung up. She keeps texting and calling but I don’t respond. I’m really upset with her. Something like that isn’t a funny prank. So am I the AH for not wanting to talk to her?
Update: thank you all for your comments. Right now, I’m still not talking to her but I don’t think I can do this forever. She has been someone that’s always with me since I was born literally so it hurt more what she did. Apparently they were at a party her and her bf so that’s when she got dared. I’m pretty sure she was drunk. But I was also drunk so that doesn’t mix well.
Here is what readers had to say in response to the OP’s post:
NTA-Pranks are supposed to be funny not make you worry about those you care about.
NTA. This kind of crap is how some people ignore REAL emergency calls. There was a post where some stupid idiot pranked OP until he ignored her claim she was in labor because she had lied about it while he was at WORK, making him leave the office.
But then she finally was in labor for real and then she got all snitty that her lies created problems for HER. She doesn't get to jerk you around emotionally and you get to choose when YOU feel like talking to her not HER.
NTA. Pranks aren’t supposed to cause such worrisome reactions where someone’s safety can be compromised. It reminds me of the time my friend’s older brother played a prank on her when she was learning to drive…..he hid in the backseat and jumped out at her when she was on the freeway.
Poor thing crashed and he went flying through the windshield because he wasn’t wearing a seatbelt. I hope she learns her lesson because what she did was cruel and definitely not funny.
A month and a half later, the OP returned with an update.
It’s been about a month and half since my last post and a few things have happened. First I wanna thank everyone who commented it really made me think about our relationship and the things that lead up to that night.
Since that, I have keep LC like some of y’all suggested. It has put things into perspective. Now the update. After the initial incident, my cousin didn’t message me for three weeks.
At first, I thought she expected me to reach out first or something. She didn’t message me until the Monday before thanksgiving (we were both going to be in town) when she messaged me the only thing she asked was if I was still mad and I replied yes. In which that she messaged “alright great talk”.
After reading this I then responded back with a long message asking how she expected me to forgive her when she couldn’t even message me to apologize sober. We got into a heat argument in which she say that although she is sorry and it was a bad joke what she did was still a joke.
After that message I stopped texting back. That made me even more mad that she couldn’t be accountable for her actions. Come thanksgiving day. She comes over to my house (without telling me) and is chatting with my parents and I’m silent.
After half and hour she gets up to leave and my mom followed her. When my mom got back she was upset with me because apparently she was going to spend thanksgiving with me this year so she wouldn’t be bored at her house.
I told my mom that i didn’t want to be near her especially since we hadn’t resolved our issues. my mom told me I shouldn’t hold a grudge against her anymore but I can’t she broke my trust. We having spoken since. Now the adults in my family thinks I’m the AH.
Here is what readers had to say in response to the OP’s post:
Still NTA, no matter what anyone in your family thinks. Your cousin owes you a sincere apology, not the qualified semi-apology she delivered, and you are not obligated to accept anything else simply because someone else thinks you should. That she's your cousin doesn't excuse what she did nor obligate you to just let it go.
Tell your family that it isn't a grudge; it's that you don't trust her not to do something like that again especially since she has never even given you a sincere apology and that her reaction to hurting you has shown you who she really is as a person, and it's someone you don't want in your life, and they can respect that, or they can be cut out of your life, too.
Man. I probably would have really laid it on thick.
"I put myself in serious danger trying to figure out how to help her, and she can't even manage to muster up a single genuine apology? Does my well-being mean less than her pride?"
This feels like one of those things that probably just... fractured them. I can picture an uneasy forgiveness, but I doubt their relationship was ever the same.