'AITA for exposing my cousin as a hypocrite and supposedly ruining Thanksgiving?'
"AITA for pointing out my cousin's hypocrisy during Thanksgiving?"
SapphireMila writes:
I (28F) spent Thanksgiving at my cousin Sarah’s (30F) house this year. Sarah and I grew up like sisters; we’ve always been close. But in the last few years, our relationship has been strained by the state of the world. Sarah “wants to protect innocent life” and believes women shouldn't have a choice.
At dinner, the conversation inevitably veered toward politics. I tried to stay quiet, but Sarah, emboldened by the wine, launched into how pro-life policies are long overdue. She argued that women should just “take responsibility for their actions” and not treat abortion as a “get-out-of-jail-free card.” She went on about how it’s “immoral” to terminate a pregnancy and that “everyone should have to live with the consequences of their choices.”
Her comments hit me like a slap to the face. A decade ago, Sarah had confided in me when she had an abortion during college. She’d gotten pregnant after a brief relationship and told me she wasn’t ready to be a mom.
She said she wanted to finish her degree and build a stable life before even thinking about children. At the time, I was her rock, helping her through the whole ordeal emotionally and even driving her to the clinic.
I sat there, fuming, until I couldn’t hold it in anymore. “So, you think women shouldn’t have access to the same choice you had?” I asked, trying to keep my voice calm. The room went silent, and Sarah froze. She stammered for a moment before saying her situation was “completely different” because she had her reasons, unlike “people abusing the system.”
That’s when I lost it. “Do you even hear yourself? You’re sitting here judging other women, saying they shouldn’t have options, when you had an abortion for the exact same reason you’re condemning. You were lucky to have the choice. Why would you want to take it away from others?”
Sarah’s face turned red, and she snapped back that I was “bringing up something personal to humiliate her” in front of everyone. I told her that wasn’t my intention, but she was being hypocritical. If she genuinely believed in protecting unborn life, she wouldn’t have made the choice she did, and if she understood the complexities of that decision for herself, why couldn’t she extend that empathy to others?
The argument escalated. She accused me of not respecting her beliefs and trying to “shame” her. I countered that she was shaming other women by supporting policies that limit their reproductive rights. The tension in the room was unbearable, and before dessert was even served, Sarah asked me to leave.
Now, Sarah’s side of the family is furious, saying I “ruined Thanksgiving” and should have let it go for the sake of keeping the peace. My parents are also upset with me, saying I should have picked a better time to discuss it.
But I can’t shake the feeling that Sarah’s hypocrisy needed to be addressed. She benefited from reproductive rights and now wants to deny them to others—it just doesn’t sit right with me. So, am I the a&^%ole for calling out my cousin’s hypocrisy about abortion at Thanksgiving?
OP responded to some of the top comments:
AnxiousTelephone2997 writes:
NTA. And good on you for calling her on her s%#t. She should feel ashamed. Not for the abortion, but because she believes herself to be so noble and mighty that she can have whatever rights she wants but no one else can. These people need to be taken down a peg. They’re so bold until people see who they truly are.
OP responded:
Thank you, that’s exactly how I feel. It’s not about shaming her for her abortion but holding her accountable for supporting policies that deny others the same choice people need to face the consequences of their hypocrisy.
No_Use_9124 says:
NTA you called her out for her bulls%#t Honestly, don't hang out with her anymore. She sounds awful.
OP responded:
Thanks, hypocrisy really does pair poorly with turkey maybe next year I’ll skip the side of BS.