'My coworker took video to 'prove' I'm not disabled. Am I overreacting?'

"My coworker took video to 'prove' I'm not disabled. Am I overreacting?"

This is weird so I need to know if I'm crazy for going as far as I did. I have a condition of chronic pain. The way I explain it to people without chronic pain is that if pain were on levels from 1 to 10, normal people are at most at a 2 or 3 from day to day where people with CP are at more like a 6.

Like imagine stepping on a Lego or hitting your funny bone, that's a very brief but excruciating 8. It's like if you pulled a muscle and so there's pain and discomfort if you move it, but pretty much daily. Some days I am higher on the scale, rare blessed days I'm more a 4 or by some miracle lower.

Overall I am active and operate well. I do own canes but I only use them on days when I'm 7 or above. Such a day came this past Sunday. On top of my full time job, I have a part time. Due to being physically and legally disabled, I had all the paperwork already filed with my job in case I ever need accommodations. I have a handicap marker on my license plate and the placard on my rear view mirror and the works.

I was recently moved to a location closer to my home. I love my new team. My boss Amy is really great. My colleague Casey and I get along okay but were the same position as assistant coordinators to Amy. The reason I was moved to that location was that it expanded and they needed more hands so they added me.

Casey has wanted a promotion for a long time and everyone knows it. I was pretty open that I don't. Lol any promotion from my position would be a fulltime and...I already have a fulltime job. I do this job to pad my savings and because I frankly like the job. Being busy also helps with my anxiety.

I mean Casey works hard but she also likes to talk over me or rush to take charge of something before I can when I clearly was getting to it. She then announces it. "Oh I handled that for you, OP. Don't worry!" And at first I was annoyed but over time I was like alright then, but you didn't have to.

I talked to Amy about this. I want to pull my weight but it can be challenging and redundant when Casey is racing to beat me to it. The point was for us to split tasks evenly. Amy said she would talk to her and I don't know what came of that but things didn't really change much so I just accepted it.

So when I came in Monday with my cane, everyone had questions. I emailed Amy Sunday night so she knew but I tend to be private so what I told everyone else was that I have a condition and sometimes I need a cane but not always.

Amy accommodated me. She assigned me tasks that required little to no movement. I was very grateful and got everything done pretty early so I called over the radio if there was anything else I could do. Casey said no she's got it so I just handled admin stuff that's usually on the backburner.

Literally replied with "okay I'll tackle the admin list then" and Casey said no she's got it but Amy followed that with a thank you to me and confirmation that this would be helpful.

I still needed my cane yesterday (Tuesday) and it was similar. I completed most of the admin to-dos and Amy was so relieved to have it done. She thanked me for coming in and doing all that instead of calling out. Casey made a comment that she could've helped but I said that's okay and thanked her for handling the more physical tasks.

We ended up walking to the parking lot together and she asked which car was mine so I pointed at it. Then she said "so I know you're not disabled, by the way." And I asked what she meant. She just repeated herself and said "so no cane tomorrow, okay? I won't tell. Just no cane tomorrow."

I stood there like what the f? But I was meeting my best friend and just left to make it on time. I met my BFF Joy at the bar and we had a wonderful time. I brought my cane but tbh I didn't always use it. For example, I didn't use it to walk from my table to the bar to request another drink or when I got up to hug Joy goodbye.

Today, when I woke up, my pain was higher than my normal so I took my cane along. I texted Amy that I have my cane but doing okay in small bursts so put me in Coach lol I was having a good time at my main job and didn't give Casey a thought.

I arrive at my part time job and Casey saw my cane and went red. I mean like the way I looked when the Eagles lost to the 49ers lol just SUPER MAD. I greeted everyone and she ignored me completely. We got our assignments and she snidely said to me "Well can you handle that with your cane and all?"

In a tone that even made Amy turn to look at her like WTF. I said I can manage and thanked her for her concern and we went about our work. Once again she raced to beat me to things and saying over the radio "don't strain yourself, OP, I did x-task or got y-done."

I was so confused until about an hour ago when we finished work she again walked with me to the parking lot but this time showed me a video. It was me. It was me at the bar last night with Joy. I was just like...um why do you have a video of me - that's weird.

She says it's proof. I asked of what? And she said it's proof I'm not disabled as I acted so "wounded all day at work" but suddenly don't need my cane at a bar. What???? I wanted to explain that that's just not how CP works. Like yes I can stand up to hug my friend or get up and walk 3 strides to order a new drink but I can't, for example, lean over and organize a bottom drawer without a chair to sit in.

I wanted to explain the CP is just an umbrella and under it are a myriad of experiences and abilities and that honestly, if she had left my tasks alone, I'd have done them. She didn't give me the chance and said "no cane tomorrow. I'm serious. Or I'm going to Chad" (Chad is Amy's boss).

I said "About what?" But she was already walking away from me and just got in her car. It's just weird. And oddly Chad would know this is BS because his boyfriend has CP too.

I'm not so much worried about being "found out" or anything but it's just weird and I'm literally typing an email to Amy CCing Chad about this weird behavior because it's just odd. Am I crazy to want to preemptively explain this? I am anxious and paranoid in general so I don't want to overreact or make things worse.

Edit: I sent the email and also thanks for letting me know I'm not crazy for feeling weirded out. Also I will be simply blocking anyone who is saying this is fake. I don't have time for your bs to be frank. I also texted Amy and Chad.

Edit 2: It's morning and I'm still about at a 7 and it's cold today so even if I didn't want to bring my cane, I would have to. I texted ahead so Amy can start thinking about tasks today.

For some common themes I've noticed, yeah my pain scale Lego idea wasn't on scale. Stepping on a Lego was the funniest thing I could think of that hurts so I wanted to paint a picture.

I wasn't making a clinical pain chart lol feel free to use your own theatre of the mind scenarios to help people without chronic pain have an idea of what it's like. Amy and Chad have both responded so we will see how today goes. Anyway this was my first break in my FT job so I have to get back to it.

Here's what people had to say to OP:

robbiea1353 said:

Time for a chat with your supervisor and/or HR. Make sure you bring the receipts.

PhoenixMStar said:

Time for HR. Insanity. This person is clearly insane.

wishfulthinking3333 said:

She’s stalking you at this point. Go to HR on that alone.

Suki_13 said:

You’re doing the right thing by reporting her. Almost sounds like she stalked you at the bar. Competition is healthy but this is downright obsessive and ridiculous, not to mention mean and discriminative.

Grant_Winner_Extra said:

Talk to HR about this. It’s harassment. Casey appears to be gunning for dismissal for cause.

PrinceCastanzaCapone said:

She might be fired. Following you from work and then filming you without your consent/knowledge is stalking. She will deserve it.