'AITA for lying to my coworker so she'd have to pay for her own meal?' UPDATED
"AITA for lying to my coworker so she'd have to pay for her own meal?"
This coworker makes less than I do but not a lot less, and every time we go to breakfast or lunch she "left her wallet" somewhere new. I have paid before, and I'll then have to send her a Venmo request which she sends back days or weeks later, sometimes
I have forgotten, and she has gotten away with it. I started to notice this and today she asked me if I wanted to go get breakfast with her, I told her I'd go with her but had already had breakfast. Of course when we sit down she says OMG I forgot my wallet and I said omg me too lol.
I tell her go get it from the car and she says she'll try apple pay. She eats and when time to pay comes she asks if they use ApplePay and they don't. I'm a very over-prepared person and was embarrassed that she waited until she ate to ask that when we could've quickly walked to her car and gotten the wallet. Anyway, she asks me again if I'm sure I don't have my wallet which I thought was weird and I said yes....
The place let her come back a little later to pay since we showed them where we worked on the block. The whole way back to work she went on about how embarrassing that was and said to me "You never have your wallet when I need it"... to which I was so confused. THE SHEER AUDACITY.
I said "Excuse me? I always have my wallet or a form of payment which is why we have been here before and I've paid for you and its crazy to say that to me when you never have your wallet and when I didn't eat" and she just looked like a deer in headlights. I was appalled, I genuinely think this woman may be cray after this.
How can she, after eating on her own and not being able to foot her own bill then turns around and tells ME I NEVER HAVE MY WALLET?????
Shortly after posting, OP added an update/edit.
Edit: I didn't expect this to go semi viral, thanks for all the comments and advice. Just want to add a couple of points that I think are important:
We are the only two women at the office, our boss is rarely here and all other employees are remote. We basically just make sure the satellite office doesn't fall apart and get whatever our boss needs, collect the mail etc.
Soooo we have A LOT of downtime, we don't even have to answer phones so we go to breakfast at a cafe nearby pretty often since it takes us 20-30 minutes to eat and our boss encourages it. After these comments I'll definitely be either eating alone or not going with her. She may be this way with everyone because on her birthday she posted her Venmo on Facebook and asked people to send gifts through there.
Commenters were strongly opinionated.
Good_Bunch_5609 wrote:
Hmmm. Either you are wayyy too nice or this is some kind of co-dependent relationship. You supported this behaviour well beyond reason. How come?
OP responded:
Definitely both, I'm way too nice and there aren't a lot of people at this job so we just use each other for some small talk here and there so we don't go insane in the silence all day. Definitely not going to eat with her again and after these comments I may just mention to her that I think she's mooching next time she asks me to go eat with her anywhere.
She's also one of those people who is always going through something, so it took me a while to notice she's blatantly mooching off me. She knows I'm just lucky to have inherited my apartment from an uncle with no kids and I don't pay rent, which makes me feel like she may have excused it to herself as "she has more than enough money."
But hey, I'm trying to save too and was born piss poor my only asset is where I live and its a one bedroom in a bad area. Also realizing as I type this that there was no reason I should've ever shared that with her.
leftclicksq2 wrote:
I agree with this. There was a girl I went to junior high with who ended up going to the same college as me. It was nice to see a familiar face, so I didn't think anything of it when we started meeting up in the lunchroom. One day she asked me if I knew how much an energy drink was and I told her. She asked if I had an extra dollar, so I gave it to her.
Little did I know that dollar was like the gateway to the numerous times thereafter that she would ask me for money. She promised to pay the dollar back, but that never happened. The most I gave her was $3.00 and her promises to pay back remained unfulfilled. I was more annoyed that seeing each other was about her asking me for money, not a move towards genuine friendship.
I started avoiding the area and either accepting invitations to eat off campus or eat somewhere else away from the vicinity of the lunchroom. I did this for a while until one day I ran into her on the way to the student office. She stopped me and told me she hadn't seen me in a bit, but she was short money to use the vending machine.
I don't know whether I was in a mood or what came over me, but I froze and said, "Sorry, I only brought enough money for myself. Ask someone else." She had the nerve to press me and I told her I was sorry, but I already told her I couldn't help her.
The last image of her as I continued on my way was just her standing there with her mouth half open in disbelief. I'm not sure if she dropped out or switched schools, because I never ran into her again.
OP responded:
She has done this too, I keep my energy drinks in the office fridge and she'll ask for one and says she'll pay me and she doesn't. Thankfully it happened once and the second time I said no.
leftclicksq2 wrote:
Good gracious! You've got a full blown mooch that you're associated with. I've seen suggestions in other threads about locked cooler lunch boxes. You can't trust this person around any of your stuff!
Over a week later, OP jumped on with another update.
She got fired over the weekend because she sent an email to the wrong client enclosing a bunch of confidential agreements. This is not the first time she's gotten reprimanded before, so I was not surprised since she and I both knew she was on thin ice with my boss.
The most shocking part to me was that she immediately blocked me on all social media/texts as soon as she left, even though I stayed cordial with her since the last time we went to eat and wrote the post.
So I definitely feel like even more of an idiot than I felt after the wallet comment. Can't believe I trusted someone for four years who was waiting for any second to remove me from her life. Let this be your reminder that coworkers are not friends.
Commenters had a lot to say in response.
TrifleMeNot wrote:
Never add coworkers on social media.
dragonagitator wrote:
Within the first week of starting a new job, I go through the company directory and systematically block every single person who works there.
shoot420 wrote:
Maybe she knew you were talking sh*t on Reddit 🤷♀️🤣
OP responded:
Can't say that didn't cross my mind lmao.
Wynndee wrote:
SOME coworkers are not your friends, however, I now live with a former coworker and she saved my ass time and time again...people suck, and sometimes you have to work with those sucky people, but some are gems I promise!
mmebrightside wrote:
I too now enjoy a lovely friend group who has been getting together every Friday after work for happy hour for the past three years. All three were co-workers at one time or another. The place we worked at was sold, two of us got jobs at the corp ofc instead of staying at the location that was sold. 1 stayed, and one had resigned a few years prior to the sale.
They are my ride or die type of friends. In my new role/dept., I also made friends and we hang outside of work. It is possible to find true friends at work, but be wary. Don't share personal information unless/until you've determined they can be trusted and are a real friend.
AlfalfaNo4405 wrote:
I just read your original post and I’m infuriated for you and cracking up at her audacity. Omg. Just be glad the trash took itself out and you don’t have to deal with her nonsense anymore. Hope she doesn’t unblock you looking for a reference!
OP clearly wasn't TA here, in any way.